Well, that's the one thing we've got...

What a week. Or something. My iPod has gone on the fritz, and the battery is dead. Surprise, surprise. There are TONS of people who have this problem, and yet they haven't made an iPod which doesn't suffer from said defect. Kinda dumb... Apple is so big and powerful, but they can't properly engineer one of their flagship products to be reliable. Yes, I love my iPod. It's a greast little device, but dang... They sure cost a lot to repair or replace. Ugh. $40 to have it shipped to Apple for repairs. It better come back fast, and it better come back OPERATIONAL.

Got my computer fixed. I had to remake the BIOS updater floppy in safe mode. Who'da thunk? I got XP on here now... Ugh, I remember why I like 2K better. Less annoying popup messages. Better organization. Less wizards that don't do what you want them to. In other news, I'm trying to get a gameport to work... It seems both of the sound cards I have on-hand have audio difficulties. GG Creative Labs. All I wanted to do was enable their gameport, but use the mainboard audio... Apparently that's too retarded for XP to handle. I tried for an hour with no luck. Ugh. But hey - Now C&C: The First Decade works!! I'm not sure if it's worth it or not. I think I gotta break down and get a USB to gameport adapter.

I finished watching the Cowboy Bebop series. Again. This would be my third or fourth time through. And each time, I'm always impressed. At the characters, the animations, the music, and soforth. Great show. You really feel it in the last episode when Spike dies and 'Blue' is played. Perfect song for the ending. I've yet to conclude this all with the movie, but I suspect I'll try and get around to that soon. Scrubs and Lost should be on this week. Curse the Olympics for holding them from me. Battlestar Galactica was really cool. Interesting perspective on the other side of things. Well done episode.

I haven't been sleeping weel these past three nights. Lots of tossing and turning. Last night I didn't get sound asleep until 4 or 5. Something to do with playing too much Red Alert 2 over the weekend. I had little pixelated men running about through my dreams. Very distacting when you're trying to get some rest. Yuri must have claimed my mind before I knew it.
-Cril

You say we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's

One of those things.

Y'know what's a great feeling? Waking up one day to realize you're over it. It haunted your dreams and popped up at odd times, summoned by words or phrases you heard all too much. As much as you fanatically tried to get it out of your thoughts and memory, it came out of nowhere, smacked you upside the head, and hung around for the rest of the day. And once it was there, you couldn't just lay it aside. You just had to mull over it some more. And all of the sudden... Poof! That's it. Sure, it's not completely erased or evaporated from the depths of the mind. But you have to go out of your way to purposefully bring it up for it to come into your consciousness. And that... Is a wonderful thing. You simply don't care anymore. You can look back and it might bug you a bit, but it doesn't overshadow your day and what you're trying to do with life. It's an experience gained and a lesson learned. That's it; no more, no less. A great feeling.

Looks like I might be able to go to the wedding with Tim, road-tripping it down like I've wanted to do for a looong time. I'm pretty excited about this, I think it'll be a blast. I just gotta get the details sorted out. At the moment, though, I really aughtta be looking into my iPod's battery problem, sending my Palm off to Rob, and figuring out what's b0rked with my computer. Curse that sneaky BIOS. I'm suspicious of its intentions...
-Cril

So good-bye, dear, and amen
Here's hoping we meet now and then
It was great fun
But it was just one of those things

Just one of those things

Ella Fitzgerald - Just One of Those Things

Bah

resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) noun
The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us

I had it all working fine: I was switching between XP and 2K just fine, and had gotten about half way through the Allied Red Alert 2 campaign. Then, for some reason, my computer has started restarting oddly. I didn't even change any settings or anything... I just restarted to change the OS, and my keyboard wouldn't work, drives took a while to detect, and it generally took longer to reboot. Like... WHAT THE HECK?! What'd I do?! Changing USB ports doesn't even recognize the KB in Windows. A normal PS2 port doesn't detect at all. At the OS selection screen, though, if I press any buttons the countown slows. So it must be detecting somehow. However I try to update my BIOS, I end up with a frozen PC. When I use nTune the first time, my mouse freezes. When I use it agian, I lose the keyboard. The computer itself is still functioning, but nothing for input. Argh, I just don't get it. It must have something to do with me installing XP. It's EA's fault. I just know it. Either way, I have no idea what to do next... Format perhaps? I already nuked the XP partition, and it didn't do anything.

Anyways, I should be grateful it is starting up in the first place, and that I can run Win2K stuff just fine. Which is why I'm currently pirating Command & Conquer Generals. The origional version worked just fine with 2K. So did Red Alert 2. In fact, so did ALL the other C&C games, through some form of compatibility mode. Why EA decided the First Decade should be less compatible than it was before, I'll never know. Must be to make people like me mad.

I don't wanna format again... If it'll even fix anything...
-Cril

We waited in the night for hours
VIP passes bouquets of flowers
To see the brand new siren sing her song

The virgin's men were thrown into volcanoes
A beating heart, it was held aloft
And no expense was spared

Camper Van Beethoven - Long Plastic Hallway

I hate the Olympics.

Okay, maybe 'hate' is too strong of the word. I just don't like the Olympics that much. Why? First off, the amount of money spent on them. The opening ceremonies alone were ridiculous. Sure, the choreography was really impressive. The guys blading around with fire shooting out of their heads was neat. But was it really worth the millions, nay billions spent of it? It was unarguably cool to watch, but it the long run... Could we use that money to, I dunno... Feed some starving children or something? Seriously, I kind of find that retarded.

Second, I hate the competition. It's great that the whole world is coming together to participate and blah blah blah, but it seems that 90% of the athletes arrive with high hopes and leave with crushed ones. You see too many people looking depressed after they've just botched their routine or race. It's fun to root for an athlete, and he ends up losing, and now has a whole disappointed country to go home to. That has got to SUCK. You saved up, worked your butt of trying to get there, arrive and LOSE. That's it. The end. Oh, I went to the Olympics, but I didn't win anything. But the experience was worth it, right? Suuure. You hear it time and time again that athletes train and go not so they can say they went, but to win gold. Not silver, not bronze, not fourth or sixth or nineteenth or last.

Then there's the competition between nations. Okay, so it's cool to have a moment in which a whole country can rally behind a single person or team. I admit it was freakin' FUN watching the Men's Hockey at Salt Lake last time, but why? It was because we were beating the United States, that's why. Our neighbour and 'rival'. It felt good to win. They overshadow us the rest of the time, but it's nice to see we can still beat them at a few things. But that's how it is: We want to beat them. All the slander and dirt talk between nations over a GAME. It creates a lot of tension, doesn't it? Why should it be like this? We even keep tally on what country has the most meddles! Now it's not a competition over single matches, but the whole freakin' Olympic event! Jeepers. It makes me sick, it really does. But hey, at least here it isn't resulting is war, economic sanctions, or Danish cartoons. Everything's put to the side for a bit.

Then there are the drug scandles, dishonest judges and people being disqualified for cheating. It shouldn't be that serious, should it? I know it's probably differant to those involved, but isn't it just a game?

I suppose there are a few good things from the Olympics. The chance to have most countries of the world meet and enjoy a few weeks together is good. Although the 'triumph of the human spirit' is mostly a load of CRAP, there are a few exceptions. Something like the Norweigan coach helping the Canadian skiers win silver is really a heart-warming example of kindness. I also heard about an Athlete from Chad who got up and told the world that he was donating all of his winnings to charity for his country, and challenged sponsors to do likewise. Sure, Nike decided to meet his amount in merchandise (What good are sneakers made by sweatshop children going to help other starving children?), but it's good to see some aid. The other good example is the Chinese figure skating pair who soldiered on after an accident to win silver. It looked really nasty, but the female really pulled herself together to deliver a great performance. I was impressed.

A few, really great occurences that made you think "Yeah, this is what the world needs more of." But overall... Too much negetivity between countries and participants. A LOAD of needlessly spent cash. Cheating, crushed dreams, and tears. Not quite worth it, in my opinion. But that's all this is - my opinion.

In other fronts, I went out and bought "Command & Conquer - The First Decade" last night in the snow-blowing -30c weather. It's quite the deal for a C&C lover like myself. That is, if you happen to have Windows XP. That's beginning to become a pet peeve of mine: Developers who don't bother to make a game Windows 200 compatible when it's made for WinXP. They're incredibly similar! Why are people so retarded as to not spend a bit of time making sure something works for the Win2K population?! I'm no programmer, but it can't be that hard! Jeez. Another dumb thing about this release is that you need to enter a key for every. Single. Game. And. Expansion. Ugh... considering I already put a key in for the overall DVD itself, that seems to be a waste of my time. Ugh. I hope there's a hack out there to get it working...

I made myself a new Cowboy Bebop avatar and sig. I don't know if I should replace my old avatar and sig... I haven't been using them too terribly long. I like the new avatar, but I'm thinking the sig is a bit too busy. The colour themes should also match. I'll probably make them both blue. Hm. I got my 'Bebop shirt yesterday, I really like it. It's chocolate brown with this logo. It's comfy to boot.
-Cril

Well, I feel so good, everything is sounding hot
Better take it easy, 'cause the place is on fire
Been a hard day and I don't know what to do
Wait a minute, baby, it could happen to you

So glad we made it, so glad we made it
You got to gimme some lovin', gimme some lovin'
Gimme some lovin' every day

Blues Brothers - Gimme Some Lovin'

Screw you, St. Valentine

Happy Singles Depression Day everyone! May all of you with someone special to love take this day to enjoy their company and show them you care. After which, you can all fall down DEAD so that the rest of us might not have to recognize this abomination to the calendar system again. Seriously, I hate this.

Who started it, and WHY? These days, it's an obvious commercial event rather than an opportunity to show what's in your heart. You don't see encouragement to just give some small yet significant token of appreciation to that special someone. No, it's all about getting them the roses and chocolates and sugar and spice and everything nice. Apparently nothing says "I love you" like well wasted money on plants that will shortly wilt and die or candy that will soon be consumed and forgotten.

AND, on top of the whole "Let's take your money in the name of this 'love' thing we keep hearing about", it singles out the... Well, singles. You're not even worth to target for advertizing if you don't have someone to buy something for. And everyone else goes through these grand gestures for their partner. The confused and companionless get to stand around like lost idiots who just don't get the point. Us losers and loners get to sit this one out and watch in either awe or disgust as the population of couples fall over eachother to prove that they indeed understand this 'love', even if all they're learning is from card makers and florists and company executives who need a poor excuse for a promotional.

So what is our problem, exactly? Why are we sitting home alone on our computers bashing just another date on a calendar? Fear? Well, what else would it be? Fear of putting yourself out there in uncomfortable territory. Fear of risking getting hurt. Again. Fear of fitting so well with someone. That's my only answer.

Either way, here's a big Screw You St. Valentine and a depressing song to match.
-Cril

Well I hope that I don't fall in love with you
'Cause falling in love just makes me blue
Well the music plays and you display your heart for me to see
I had a beer and now I hear you calling out for me
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

Well the room is crowded, people everywhere
And I wonder, should I offer you a chair?
Well if you sit down with this old clown, take that frown and break it
Before the evening's gone away, I think that we could make it
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

Well the night does funny things inside a man
These old tom-cat feelings you don't understand
Well I turn around to look at you, you light a cigarette
I wish I had the guts to bum one, but we've never met
And I hope that I don't fall in love with you

I can see that you are lonesome just like me
And it being late, you'd like some some company
Well I turn around to look at you, and you look back at me
The guy you're with has up and split, the chair next to you's free
And I hope that you don't fall in love with me

Now it's closing time, the music's fading out
Last call for drinks, I'll have another stout
Well I turn around to look at you, you're nowhere to be found
I search the place for your lost face, guess I'll have another round
And I think that I just fell in love with you.

Tom Waits - I Hope That I Don't Fall in Love With You

Happy Valentine's Day folks.

Entertainment at its best.

Now THAT is TV at its best! This whole week was pretty good. I only watch three shows: Scrubs, Lost, and Battlestar Galactica.

Scrubs was downright awesome. The guest appearance by 'Lando' was hilarious, especially how Turk refused to call him by his real name. The house porch was classic, including the bit about buying a baby. And, of course, the gong. That was funny. I didn't really like the chick JD was dating. Some of her parts were good, but I found the whole 'reduculously clumsy' bit got kind of annoying. Apparently those two actors are engaged.

Lost was pretty good, as dark as it was. Sawyer is sure turning out to be a dirty character. When he came out with the AK and gave his little speech you could tell what kind of a character he was. I didn't expect the pact with Charlie, though. I thought he'd be a bit... Smarter/nicer than to ambush Sun. Kinda of interesting, though, how the whole scam pulled out in the end it was well done. Now we've gone from the 'good army' of the doctor and policeman, to one of a druggie and a con artist. Humph.

The Battlestar Galactica was... Perfect. Perfectly done. I'm glad that Billy died when he did. The whole romance between Dee and Lee (THAT'S an annoying combination of names) had gone too far along to have Billy and Dee work out in the end. The whole proposal seemed to be a naive move, but it fit Billy's character very well. It's a good thing that he was killed, though, because then it'll avoid the series going all Smallville and having to deal with a lot of drama about where they stand and blah blah blah. There was that lingering look from Starbuck in the hospital room when Dee was watching Lee/Apollo. I think that could sprout some drama at a point, but knowing the characters it'll probably be confronted and brought to an end rather quickly. Besides that... I knew they'd be sending in the old boomer corpse from the moment Adama agreed to give them her 'dead body'. I'm wondering though, if conflict will sprout between him and Roslyn because his final decision ultimately got Billy killed. Ahh, good times.

Now what will next week hold?
-Cril

It’s a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
’Cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been comin’ to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin’ here?

Billy Joel - Piano Man

Recent Events

The following was orgionally posted on the FNF Boards. Click here to check out the discussion with good input.
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If any of you have been paying the slightest attention to recent news (Like me), you've heard about the recent mess surrounding a Danish cartoon featuring Mohammed. For those of you totally oblivious to the situation, a quick recap: A Danish newspaper editor decided they were cencoring themselves too heavily, so he had a cartoonist draw Muhammed (An ancient Islamic prophet/religious figure). In their religion, it is forbidden to have any illustrated or sculpted representations of this man, to prevent him from being idolized. So, not only is the Muslim population insulted at the comic itself, but they're furious that it is a drawn representation of Mohammed itself. So furious, there have been riots, embassies have been burned, and people killed. They're even calling for a Jihad (The equivelant of a Muslim religious crusade of war).

Now, there are several things that tick me off about this whole ordeal. First off, it's a CARTOON. Since when were they supposed to be taken seriously? Yes it was offensive, yes it was in poor taste. The fact of the matter is that cartoons are used to do do just those things with the aim of getting a few laughs or smirks rather than a violent outlash.

Second, FREE SPEECH. What is wrong with these people? Okay, so maybe they don't have such luxeries where they live, but they have no place to be deciding what the rest of the world thinks, writes, or says.

Third, and most frusterating to me, is that they are imposing their religion on the rest of the world by reacting violently and calling for a Jihad. Don't get me wrong, I beleive that all men have the right to "worship how, where, or what they may". Within reason that they are not harming others who do not worship the same way. By reacting the way they are, it feels like they're trying to get the world to agree with their faith and agree that the cartoon was in the wrong. They impose their faith on every single person that is brough to harm through their actions, as that is the concequence for breaking a rule of their faith.

I just don't get it. If you don't like something, ignore it and get it out of your life. You don't need to go around and get it out of everyone's life, especially when they didn't ask for it. And people wonder why Muslims are painted a violent and zealous people. They're killing and destroying over a freaking CARTOON. And they still want to escilate it to a Jihad. ARGH!

Part of me wants to find the cartoon, and post it on the site with a caption that reads something to the effect of "We support freedom of speech and the right to remain free from Muslim domination". See if we can get it posted all over the internet. A futile effort, but it'd be nice to see that some people care about how this whole mess is being handled, and that we aren't going to give way to a violation of rights for the sake of religion.

Another part of me, though, wants to just give them what they want so that the conflict doesn't escalate. Enough people have died, enough has been destroyed. That part of me is also my religious side talking, as I know what a soft and protective part of my life it is. I like to think and hope that I'd never participate in a riot or hurt someone over something that infringes on my standards but not on those of the other people.

/rant
-Cril

PS- I don't claim to have an in-depth or even half decent understanding of the Islam religion, so my apologies if any of what I said was drastically incorrect or out of place.
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A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
And, maybe, they’d be happy for a while.

Don McLean - American Pie

Interesting read about the possible interpretation of American Pie found here.

The space between...

Argh, go figure. As soon as I get my computer how I think I want it... My computer goes on the fritz. It's shadowing pretty badly. I have three consecutively fading cursors within an inch on my monitor of where my mouse actually is. It's making graphics work really dificult. The oddest part, is that when I get ingame in CoD2 and exit, it's fine again. Like it never happened. Weird. Anyways, I'm considering getting a new LCD monitor. I feel really bad thinking about getting a new monitor after I just bought a whole new computer and am (In theory) trying to save for school. On top of that, I have to make sure that whatever LCD I get is game compatible, meaning a good response time and all that stuff. Which, I totally don't understand.

Oh well, I posted my video card on Craig's List, and will probably be trying to sell my Palm soon. I hope I can find buyers.
-Cril

The space between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The space between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

Dave Matthews Band - Space Between

Penny for your thoughts...

Just out of curiosity, how do we as a race live with ourselves when totally and completely never see the big picture? How do we go living day by day, not understanding, not even comprehending where we stand in the grand scheme of things and how the world around us actually works. We get so carried away with our own insignificant existance we barely spend time thinking about what it is we are doing wrong and what we don't see. Ignorance, is that it? Are we so foolish and dumb that we automatically think the world revolves around us? What are the big misconceptions? What are we missing? Where are we, and where could we be?

The human mind is a dumb thing.
-Cril

Mother, father please explain to me
How it could be so this world has come to be
A precious balance in between
Such cruelty and such kindness please

Mother, father please explain to me
How this world has come to be
Unequaled in her blessings, oh, I see
Unbridled hatred so extreme, please tell me

Dave Matthews Band - Mother, Father