Happy [Multiple Choice Celebration] Birthday!

So what exactly is it that we celebrate on a birthday? Maybe it's something as simple as standing up and thrusting two middle-fingers in Fate's direction - we've survived one more year in a world full of diseases, car crashes, fickle and freak weather, food poisoning, fires, wars, earthquakes, and High School Musical sequels. Ok, take car's for instance - here's something we do twice a day, every day that involves us straddling a cruise missile down kilometers of pavement, passing not three feet (Bahaha! Mixing separate systems of measurement!) from other oncoming cruise missiles. And seriously, have you seen some of the idiots out there? Who the hell gave them a license? Regardless, with every car we pass by on the road we're stacking odds and taking bets. Some days I'm surprised we last as long as we do.

But back to the subject at hand. What do we celebrate? Maybe, just maybe, it's something more epic. Something so large in scope it's really impossible to grasp the meaning of sheer numbers and values. But let's run with those numbers and values for a minute, shall we? Within the space of a year, we travel roughly 938 million kilometers through the solar system, around the sun. That works out to to an average speed near 107,218 km/h (thanks, Wikipedia!). And you think you're pretty hot when you're straddling your cruise missile and barreling down the back road at 140km/h.

So is this what we celebrate? Completing another revolution around that massive burning ball of gas that lights our world? You might think so, until you realize that you can make this journey sitting absolutely frickin' still. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to earn that achievement.

Or maybe if we want to take the more morbid approach, perhaps we're not celebrating the state of progression so much as closing the gap on our own demise. Is that it, getting closer to the end of completing an existence? If that's the case, I've already passed by 30% of my life expectancy - only 70% to go!

It could also be not so much of passing by the time as the ratio of quality to the time spent. The ability to stand there and declare, "YES! In the last year I have been able to improve myself and make an impact on the world in these ways!" Insert shtick about goals and personal excellence and growing and development here.

So what is it? Beating the odds, completing a lap around the solar system, another step towards the end, or the ability to quantify personal change? They all sound equally lame, if you ask me. Maybe it's something as simple as an excuse to break the monotony of day-to-day life like weekends and civic holidays.


Maybe it's e) None of the above.
Or even f) I have no freakin' clue.
-Cril

If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice

Arrogant Worms - The Happy Happy Birthday Song

The Long and Winding Road

It was three years ago tonight, about now, that I got on a certain Alberta-bound Greyhound bus with a carefully picked assortment of belongings. Man, that bus ride sucked. I figured if I board the evening bus and it was approximately a 13hr journey, all I'd have to do is get my 8hrs of sleep, and voila! I'm there! Except in reality it was closer to 2.5hrs of broken rest, most of it between Banff and Calgary. I wonder why I didn't sleep much that night. Nerves, probably. I had no idea what I was doing or getting myself into. Living and working with relatives that I'd seen once in the past three years. But all my other siblings had done a similar stint, so why not?

Little did I know that I'd be employed by them for three years and make over $10/hr (gasp!) doing a job I enjoy but am not remotely qualified to do. There have been obligatory ups-and-downs, a change in residence, a year of general studies somewhere in between, homesickness, physical sickness, and a whole payload of assorted emotions and situations and decisions.

Looking back at the kid who got on a late-night bus is kind of difficult. Of course when you do something like that, there's always the compulsory reaction of "I was so naive and clueless!!" Which no doubt means that three more years from now I'll look back and realize that maybe I still had/have more in common than I'd care to admit.
-Cril

Had a dream I was born
To be naked in the eye of the storm
And now it's standing right in front of me
What's it going to do to me, who knows,
Had a dream it was time
To be taken to the front of the line
Well that is not a place you wanna be
Sleeping with the enemy, you know

Roger Hodgson - Had A Dream (Sleeping With The Enemy)

Hypothetical question.

If someone were to ask you to justify your life, what would you say? Would you even have an answer?
Hm.


-Cril

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

Lovin' Spoonful - Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind

A multifarious collection of developments

So, I broke Photoshop today. It's the first time I've really done something that'll cause it to crash consistently. Which, I suppose, is a testament to the programmers and designers at Adobe. What was the winning formula? Create a 9px brush with 25% spacing, 100% size jitter, 38% scatter, 2 count (plus 10% count jitter), default texture, noise, and smoothing. Do a bunch of quick strokes in a row, and the program will hang. But it can be fixed by taking noise and smoothing off. Anyhoo, I used said brush extraordinaire to do this:



I think it may be one of my best faces/portraits yet. I got the proportions a bit out, he looks a bit more heavy than he should. Also, I didn't quite get the feel of the sharp contrast, it looks like he has a goatee instead of a shadow. You can see the reference here.

In other news, this is why I don't go and buy Need for Speed games right after they come out. I've been trying the... Extended demo, and I'm not exactly sure if it's quite as bad as the reviews suggest. But, it's still a pretty bad game. You can totally tell they put minimal effort into the PC interface - there's not even a cursor. You have to use - and + to switch between one field, and 0 and 9 for another. It's pretty bad. The handling seems VERY arcade-y... Kind of unpredictable, kind of obligatory, kind of... Horrible, really. The customization still feels shallow compared to Underground 2, the rubber-band AI is absolute TRASH, the cops appear from nowhere, and there's a slew of other quirks that make it unenjoyable. It has a bit of charm, it's a bit like Most Wanted which is one of my favourites. But I think it boils down to my affair with Grid. I'm sorry Need for Speed, baby, but I've moved onto other things. Grid's just more pretty and fun. Grid understands me.

And in more other (but fairly related) news, this is why I have and always will preorder any Valve game as soon as I possibly can. Left 4 Dead is really a great game. I was a little let down by the short length and lack of story, but the gameplay is bang-on. The hardest part is getting three other people you know together and finding a dedicated server. But when you do, you are in for a treat. I played for a few hours one night before jumping into bed. It wasn't until then that I actually realized that not only was I sweating, but my hands were shaking. I haven't had that much fun with a multiplayer game in a looooong time. It frustrates me, though, how hard it can be to to get those yokels from FNF to commit to anything. Sigh.

This week Top Gear was awesome (as always), The Office was a really solid episode (much better than last week's), and Heroes was par for the course (which is so-so, sub-par).

Oh, and I found out that GTAIV is coming to Steam. Wooooo! But I think I'll have to hold off a little bit for two reasons. First, the USD/CAD exchange rate has kinda fallen a bit, which means I'll have to pay more (booo!), and as it's a 16GB game and we've already blown our download cap out of the water for the month... I need to wait for December anyways. Oh well.

Annnnd... That's about everything of significance I have to say. Work is getting busy, somethings aren't getting done, yadda yadda. Booked tickets home for Christmas, they cost an arm and a leg... Getting a whole lot of nothing done for Christmas shopping, but I've figured everyone out...

AH! And some good news - The antique headset I was lamenting the loss of seems to be working fine. My cousin oh-so-sneakily turned town the volume while I wasn't looking, and the knob only really works on one channel. My decent Sennheiser set can be sent in for repair under warrantee, but my Logitech gamepad was a gift and as such I'll need to see if I can get a receipt. Yah. That's about it. Mebbe I'll go play some Left 4 Dead now.
-Cril

You know that its true
Its a little bit me, (a little bit me)
And its a little bit you...
Too

Monkees - A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You

"See? This is why I can't own nice things!"

Or rather, why I probably shouldn't own nice things.

Within the last twenty-four hours, I've broken no less than THREE electronic accessories. That's an average of one every eight hours - it's almost like working a full-time job!

It started off last night with my Logitech controller. I installed the new Need for Speed, and noticed that I was drifting to the left a lot. Sigh. Sure enough, my one analog stick isn't centering properly.

THEN, this morning, I was listening to the iPod at my desk. Someone came in to talk to me, so I paused it and set it aside. When I went to start it up again... One of the channels was dead in the headphones. And it wasn't like the wire was getting worn out or anything - usually wiggling the wire just right can get the signal back. But this was not the case. The left channel is DEAD, and I can't get it to return. These are the $70 headphones I got less than six months ago. And again with the averages, that's about $10 a month.

FINE! That was a bit of a bummer. I mean, I wasn't really fond of that set, so I was kinda hoping I might be able to sell them for a bit and go buy another pair. In the mean time I hook up my old antique headphones, and listen to some Paul Okenfold and Our Lady Peace for a few hours while I chug away at work. Again someone comes in, so I set it aside. Then upon putting them back on resuming the playlist I find that my right channel has mysteriously gone silent. Same thing - wiggling doesn't help, they're still busted in other media players, and a coworkers set works fine in my iPod. But that pretty much exhausted my operational listening accessories, so I had to sweat out the remaining 20-something minutes of a podcast with one channel. But what really sucks is that I totally like the antique set, and they aren't in any way replaceable.

So what's the cause? Technology just hates me, I guess (I won't even mention the grief my work machine is giving me). I really don't know what it is. Could my iPod jack be cursed/damaged in a way that it breaks jacks that have been inserted? They didn't look visibly damaged at all. Maybe there were mysterious magnetic fields at work in the corner of my desk where I put the headphones down? Or, perhaps it was all a freak coincidence. They were fairly old headphones, and the newer ones have seen their share of abuse.

What now? Well, I guess I dig out the old ear buds that've been sitting in my summer jacket. If those suddenly cease to function, we'll know it's the iPod. But I will have come to that conclusion that by sacrificing three parts to discover the fourth is the issue. At least my iPod is still under warranty, and Apple is pretty quick with repairs. But my antiques are not, and that frikkin' sucks. Among many other things. Sigh.


-Cril

I hoped to find why this world wasn't glowing
Glowing it darkens as we end this ride
I've fallen back under the equator
I'm back inside, I'm back inside

When I find out what went on
I'll bring it back but it wont be easy
They wont believe the man he could
But I'd choose starseed over nothing
Nothing

Our Lady Peace - Starseed

Wish Liszt, 2008

The family is talking about knocking Christmas back a notch this year, specifically in the gift department. The idea is that you don't have to get anyone a gift unless you find something really good. And as much as I like this idea in principle (I'm not fond of getting stocking stuffers and gadgets I'll never touch twice), I still wanna get something for everyone. Which, as always, is turning out to be a rather difficult process. But on the plus side, I've figured out... 4 out of 11 peoples. But mind you, I actually haven't gotten any of these gifts yet - just merely the concepts. Oh boy...

But on a similar train of thought, here's what on my current list of "things to pick up if I happen to find them on the cheap and am in the mood to spend the appropriate amount of currency"

Albums & Movies:
Moby - Go
Blue Man Group - How to a Megastar Live
Frou Frou - Details
Ocean's Eleven OST
Ocean's Eleven
Cowboy Bebop OST
Dark Knight
Dark Knight OST

Technology & PC Games:
Basic/Used LCD Monitor (I gotta get rid of this other CRT...)
Headphones (my current ones are driving me NUTS)
Webcam (maybe)
Need for Speed Undercover
Mirror's Edge
Grand Theft Auto IV

Man... What a frikkin' bland list. No wonder I can't figure out what to get for other peoples - I barely even know what I want for myself. Oh well, with Left 4 Dead coming out on Tuesday, that should carry me through the holidays. On the far side of Christmas you can sometimes get screamin' deals on new game releases at some of the bigger chains.

I'll probably download the, erm, 'extended demo' of Need for Speed like I always do - although I own Underground, Underground 2, and Most Wanted, EA has a really harsh hit-and-miss average with the series. Undercover looks good so far, but I wanna make sure it's decent before throwing cash down on it. Mirror's Edge might be in a similar boat, but I think a 'limited' demo would give me a good idea of what to expect. If I find snorkin' good deals I may invest in Red Alert 3, Command and Conquer 3, Call of Duty 5... We'll see what else pops up. I just noticed IL-2 Sturmovik 1946 is on Steam for $10. I've been intrigued by that one for a while. I guess we'll see where I'm sitting after the holidays for it. Besides, Steam takes the American monies and our pathetic Canuck coins aren't worth nearly the same amount.

What a bumbling post. And now for something completely different:



So I told the boss(es) this week that I'll be staying in Calgary. Boss #1 offered to get me a Cintiq for work if I didn't move back home. Boss #2 says the funds may have to instead go towards a colour printer. While that sexy, sexy tablet would be so sexily-awesome, the colour printer(s) have been driving me NUTS. I hate those things, and would not be crushed if we got a new one that did what it was supposed to instead of El Cintiq. I'm fairly capable of performing my job as is, but it'd be a great tool to work with.

This week I really desperately need to book a flight to go home for the holidays. They're getting more and more expensive the longer I wait, and I really don't want to resort to taking a bus. Ugh. This means that I'll need to figure out when I can take time off work, which is an issue that has several long strings attached to several ugly problems. We're getting pretty close to less than a month from when the office closes, and we don't have a date set for the staff party. We don't even know where we're going or what we'll be doing there. Then there's the issue of when the bosses decide to leave the office - they'll need to delegate the task of watching the office to someone. This typically gets dumped on the friends/coworkers above me in seniority, which kinda sucks for them. I keep telling myself that I'm somehow entitled a decent pick of vacation because I'm the only one who's a province away from immediate family... But really, that makes a pretty lame-ass excuse for taking off early when there are others who should have first dibbs. /shrugs

I'll pitch it this week and keep my fingers crossed. We'll see what happens. Also, there are projects that have been sitting on desks waiting for approvals, and we're getting pretty darn close to cutoffs. Sigh... If I close my eyes and cover my ears will it all go away and end up being alright?
LALALALALALALALALALALA!
-Cril

Oh oh domino
Roll me over romeo
There you go
Lord have mercy
I said oh oh domino
Roll me over romeo
There you go
Say it again
I said oh oh domino
I said oh oh domino

Van Morrison - Domino

A stroll through an empty home.

I logged into my ye olde Hotmail account today. It was a bit like walking through an old house. The unread inbox had the odd junk mail like weeds popping up through random floorboards. There were odd cobwebs in the form of old newsletters I forgot I'd signed up for. The obligatory rodents peeking out from around a corner were the "THANK YOU FOR REGISTERING" emails from all those accounts I'd signed up for once but never used twice. But the depressing part was that all the furniture was stolen.

I'm a bit of a pack-rat, and I like to hold onto anything that ever held a shred of significance or could possibly become significant in the future. In reality most of it was a bunch of junk. Surveys, forwards, chain letters, etc. But what I really treasured was the plethora of email correspondence between old friends.

The first email I got from that chick I met at the crappy summer job. She'd turn out to be one of the best friends I'd ever have. There were nifty old and forgotten projects I'd worked on with buddies - animated gifs, the website we'd toiled over for an entire term, our first Photoshop experiments. The acceptance letter that got into a gaming clan, one that I'm still a member of today (even though almost everyone else has moved on).

There was an email where someone at school spilled the beans that I liked a certain girl. Another one or two from mutual friends who said she liked me too. One about how I needed to try to get out of my shell and make an effort for her. How I'd make her day just by asking her out. A dozen or so flirtatious messages between me and said girl. Some were long and detailed, others were short and to the point. There was the email where I pleaded with the best friend to drive 40mins just to come and sit with me; the girl I liked had split my heart clean in two.

There were funny jokes, school rumors, bits and pieces of assignments, both long and short term plans, some "where are you know" messages, and tons more "Thank you for registering" confirmations for sites that I've oh-so-long ago forgotten.

I guess I lost all of this because it had been so long since I last logged in. After things fell apart with the aforementioned girl I liked, I kind of lost reason to keep in contact with most of those people.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about all this. It's nice to have that history and dialogue there to fall back to. Read through the better memories and take note about what I could've done different to avoid the bad ones. On the other hand, it was chock-full of shards that resembled one of the less-enjoyable years of my life. Some things are better to forget and move on from.

I never really think of that girl anymore. I can't even remember the last time I talked to most of those 'mutual friends'. That best friend I met at the summer job and I have since drifted too far apart. I kept every piece of email correspondence I ever had with her.

So in some ways I guess it was all a changelog and narration of various relationships that have since dissipated into the wind. Part of me knows that there used to be so much more there. Part of me knows that I've long since walked away from it all, and lost conversations have no bearing on how I go about my day-to-day life.

And so I stand in this empty house. You can almost see the crop-cirles in the carpet where the old chair was and the faded sections of the wall that surround where the book case used to be. And all of it is actually nothing but a long lost series of 1's and 0's. Purged from a countless amount of other 1's and 0's swirling around a digital world to make room for more houses and homes.

Funny how that works.
-Cril

When I walk beside her
I am the better man
When I look to leave her
I always stagger back again

Once I built an ivory tower
So I could worship from above
When I climb down to be set free
She took me in again

There’s a big
A big hard sun
Beating on the big people
In the big hard world

Eddie Vedder - Hard Sun

War and Pieces

Today I started what is going to be a tradition. Generally, in the past, I don't really pay all that much attention to Remembrance Day. Don't get me wrong - I have the utmost respect for those who've served and sacrificed. But I end up taking the day off, and maybe I'll fire up some Day of Defeat, Call of Duty, or other war-themed game. It has a sense of black irony to it.

But today, tonight, not two minutes ago I finished watching Episode Six of Band of Brothers, titled 'Bastogne'. Out of all the episodes of all the shows, this has to be in my top five. The series itself focuses on the men of the American 101st Airborne Division, specifically Easy Company, and their involvement in the Second World War. The entire show is triple-A material, with incredible attention to detail and one of the strongest atmosphere's I've ever seen captured on film.

But Episode Six, in particular, is something special. It revolves around the company medic as he tries to hold his company together, while falling apart himself. It's really touching, and the harsh imagery of fresh snow lathered in even fresher blood hits it home. Now I'm not generally the kind who enjoys gore and grit, but 'Bastogne' somehow has an undefined appeal. Not the kind of 'check out this awesome action' appeal, but the kind of appeal that touches something a lot more... Fundamental to your soul. The compassion and friendship and loss and hatred really digs down deep, and really grabs at something that doesn't often get touched. Every time I watch it, my heart breaks a little bit more.

I don't know why I keep going back, but it's one of those things that I guess I can afford to do once a year. It immediately impacts my grasp at just what I'm trying to Remember. I truly can't craft sufficient words to put it into perspective. Chocolate bars, muttered phrases in French, spare boots, a blue handkerchief, syrettes and falling snow. They all up to so much more than just the sum of their parts.



Of course, today will also be of note in that a quirky and lovable family pet passed away. I don't have anything clever or wise to say, but it seems fitting in some ways and in others not at all to share the occasion. But I guess the feelings of loss and regret and thoughts of better times will be right at home.

Happy Remembrance Day.
-Cril

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away
It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

Linkin Park - Hands Held High

I wish I knew exactly what I mean.

Y'know what I hate? Decisions. More specifically, the ones I have to make. Debate the reasons, pick an option, re-evaluate it incase you skipped something, try and come up with alternative, re-consider reasons, pick another option, get nervous, switch to the opposite, become unnerved by the fact you just switched, throw hands up in despair, etc etc ad nauseum. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's an efficient method, I know.

So it's with nervous mannerisms and cautious approach that I hereby quietly declare I'm staying put here in ye fine Alberta-country. The other option was to return to the lower-mainland and persue school there, but that'd seem like a step backwards considering that I'd need to find a decent job and a place to live (both of which I have here). And yet staying here is a bit of a step backwards as I've already moved here and back once about a year and a half ago, and I'm abandoning my old plan to go to school in Vancouver.

But that's alright, because that plan had about a good foundation as a pita full of mud. Even though staying here I have yet to conceive of a mud-filled pita goodness, I can do so from decent lodging after working at a decent job. S'all good.

Except for the point, y'know, where I need to figure out what to do with myself next.

And that I'll have to do tons of paperwork to change residencies.

And all that crap. Ugh.

I guess this is the part where I cross my fingers and hope for the best.


Moving on, I watched two movies this weekend. First of which was the new Indiana Jones movie, which you could immediately tell had a large influence from George Lucas. How, you ask, can you tell that? Well, it was littered with that special kind of suck that couldn't come from anywhere else. Most of all the horrible dialogue, plus throw-away characters that had no purpose, shoddy and abundant CGI, and a really really horrible story. Aliens? A UFO? Really? Ugh, George Lucas - butchering childhood memories one by one! Really, it was a horrible flick. It was nice to see Harrison Ford back in the role, but aside from that... There wasn't really anything appealing.

And then I watched Children of Men. Which, I have to say, had some incredible cinematography. I was blown away at how long some of those shots were. It was pretty gritty - the atmosphere was well captured. It was very V for Vendetta and 1984 esque. With a sprinkle of Half-Life 2 mixed in. For some reason it really didn't click with me, I had a hard time really enjoying it. But I could tell it was well done, I guess it just wasn't my cup of tea. Although, one thing bothered me - near the end they just walk right away after revealing the only newborn child to an entire building and platoon of soldiers. Seriously? How did they get away with that? Gah.

We're coming up on Christmas, which gives me mixed feelings. Don't give me wrong, I'm generally a fan of the season. It's just the whole gift-getting schtick that gets annoying. I have a genuinely good time when I know what to get, but that's generally the hardest part. I have... Say eleven people on my list. Of which, I have a whopping three figured out. It really makes me wonder how those people who buy for everyone and their dogs do it. Lots of gift cards, I'm sure. Hrmph.



Well, now's the part where I sync up the iPod with some more music to get me through the week. This is going to be a long one - while in your average business having the boss gone for two days would probably make things fun and go by quickly... We're getting dangerously close to Christmas and there's tons of stuff to get done. Woo, the joys of working in a small business...
-Cril

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
It's the most remarkable word I've ever seen
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
I wish I knew exactly what I mean
It starts out like an A word as anyone can see
But somewhere in the middle it gets awful QR to me
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
If I ever find out just what this word can mean
I'll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen

Sesame Street - Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

Rorschach for Company

Turns out that an old friend acquaintance had a baby this week. She used to attend the same church as me many years ago. She's one of those bubbly love-and-talk-to-everybody people. Damn extroverts - they drive me nuts. Playing the "let's be friends!!" game like they're getting some kind of fix. Or sucking some sort of life force they need to survive the next five minutes.

I digress - we were never that close and even though we tried 'dating' (if you could call it that) there was absolutely nothing there to connect to. Those evenings go down as some of the most awkward I've ever had.

She may not be quite my age, perhaps a year or two younger, but already she's married and started a family. But the point I'm trying to navigate here is not our relationship, or how once semi-parallel paths have split in twain.

I guess this is all a painful and drawn-out segway into me trying to examine some sort of larger picture. If only life had a Google Maps-ish interface the job would be a lot easier. But it doesn't, and there's certainly an overwhelming lack of large 'A' and 'B' markers to point me in the right direction.

I don't know what I'm getting at to be honest. Just rambling, 'verbal throw-up', if you will. My thoughts are becoming increasingly frustrated, and sorting them out hasn't exactly been a fruit-bearing endeavour. (see this post as proof)



/shrugs

/walks away

-Cril

Snow on Election Day

There's something indescribably profound in spending an evening split between watching election results roll in and watching the first snow of the season drift down. I can't say what the significance is, exactly, but it just somehow feels... Appropriate. Never mind the fact that the elections are in who 'nother country.

To be perfectly honest, I was kind of surprised at how close it was. But I suppose that's what you get for getting the majority of your political news from internet-based social media. Heck, if Digg was even remotely as accurate as its readers treat the content, we'd all be hailing under the banner of Ron Paul at this point. I mentioned this thought to my friend/roommate, to which he replied, "Who's he?" I laughed. Oh the internet, you have so far to go.

I watched Obama's acceptance speech, and I felt it was pretty strong. There's definitely an air of something new on the horizon. Dare I even say it, "change". But I honestly have a hard time believing that politicians will turn out like they campaign to be. I doubt Obama will even remotely resemble the likes of a certain Mr Smith Who Went To Washington. Maybe he'll turn out to be just another mediocre head-of-state, and the country will stay on its current course.

But you can't help but feel from the sheer possibility that we could be on the edge of something new and better.
-Cril

Me used to be a angry young man
Me hiding me head in the sand
You gave me the word, I finally heard
I'm doing the best that I can

I've got to admit it's getting better
A little better all the time (It can't get no worse)
I have to admit its getting better, it's getting better
Since you've been mine (Getting so much better all the time)

Beatles - Getting Better

I've been working on a cocktail...

BOOYAH! CHECK THIS ACTION OUT!

CS-Nation Left 4 Dead Contest

BAHAHAHAHA!

Cough. Ahem.

I went to bed at about 11:15 last night - I'd been secretly refreshing the site throughout the day without any results. No updates. No updates. Get work done. Still no updates. So I was lying there and I knew that, yes, the last thing I did before shutting the computer down was check for the update that obviously wasn't there. But that was a whole twenty minutes ago. So I reached over to my desk, groping around in the dark until... Voila! The iPod! I turned it on and was promptly blinded by the screen. Lo and behold, I connected to the wifi and sat squirming during the excruciatingly tedious loading of the site. And was instantly rewarded. I didn't enlarge the page, I just saw saw my screen name at the top of the post under "GRAND PRIZE WINNERS", and promptly turned off the iPod. That's all I needed to know. I didn't fall asleep for another hour.

Okay, so I admit that there are three other "Grand Prize Winners", but I take some solace in the fact that my entry is the very first one listed. And by "my entry" I totally mean "our entry". This piece is no less than a week old - it was announced on Monday and I immediately knew I didn't stand a chance without my go-to-guy Vader "draw the freaky-est zombies you've ever seen" OnIce. He did all the line-work, aside from two of my scraggly survivors and a cooler in the barricade. He drew straight for two or three evenings, and I coloured straight for two more. By then the short deadline of Saturday had approached and we fired in the submission. And promptly kicked all sorts of ass.

And it's not necessarily about the prize - we're going to have issues figuring out just how to split it up and get it from A to B. It's all about the satisfaction of knowing that all the hard work paid off. So many times you chug and chug away at something, thinking "This is going to be AWESOME!", only for it to turn out semi-mediocre. And no one notices and the world moves on. But it's so nice to having something that you really put solid effort into become recognized. I guess it's validation, really. For all the occasions when something falls flat on it's face, it's nice to know that you're not always yelling into the dark. Sometimes someone yells back. And that is the best part. It's nice to have someone else be able to pull something you've done out of a pile, and say "Yes, this one is noteworthy."



Best. Feeling. Ever.
-Cril

I've been working on a cocktail called Grounds for Divorce
Whoah
Polishing a compass that I hold in my sleep
Whoah
Doubt comes in on sticks but then he kicks like a horse
Whoah
There's a Chinese cigarette case
And the rest you can keep
And the rest you can keep
And the rest you can keep

Elbow - Grounds for Divorce

Cheat codes, anticipation, decisions, and used processors.

You know what's odd? The kind of random, pointless and utterly USELESS information tends to hold onto. And yet, some days I can't remember my bank number or how to perform operation x on the company website. For example, my first ever first-person shooter was Star Wars Dark Forces, which was released in 1995. This may quite have possibly been the next significant game in my history right after Commander Keen. BUT, what amazes me today is that I remember cheat codes for that game. For invincibility type in 'laimlame', free weapons and ammo was 'lapostal', and if you wanted to automatically scale any given ledge or cliff to get to the above platform there was good ol' 'lapogo'. That got me through many a tough mission.

Now surely there's no possible use for any of this. I seriously doubt I could even play Dark Forces on any computer today. But if I could... I'd be able to get around the first level blind-folded and be able to find the easter egg on the second (with the help of lapogo) where your ship is about a foot long.

I really don't know what to say regarding the last week. I spent a day out with Eric bumming around town checking out computer shops, and nary an AMD 939 was found. Also, used LCD's are surprisingly expensive - I'd be better off keeping an eye out at NCIX for a good deal.

From Wednesday through Friday, though, I spent 90% of my free time on an art contest. I even stayed up til 1AM on a work night, no less. Basically the contest came out of nowhere, and me and Frank put our heads together to bang up a decent entry. As with Cocuyo, he did the fantastic lines while I added in the colour. So rather than winding up for and celebrating Halloween, I spent my time colouring zombies and survivors in a wonderfully dark post-apocalyptic scene. Below is probably the best element we produced, although I think the whole piece was pretty solid.



Our entry will have been judged this weekend, but we'll find out how we did tomorrow. I have my fingers crossed - I think we put a lot of effort into it and came out with something well done. But at the same time, I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Hah, I can't believe I'm getting worked up over something so trivial as an internet contest. Sigh.

As for finding other things out this week too, we'll see what America's made of come Tuesday. Getting most of my information from the interwebs such as the wonderfully unbiased and fair Digg (HAH!), I have a sneaking suspicion that my idea of how things will go down is fairly biased. I can't say with certainty that candidate X is better than candidate Y, because all the pro-X stuff is wildly supported while the criticisms are wildly suppressed. One thing's for sure, though, all the racial/prejudice stories that have turned up scare me. I'm not calling out all Americans and saying that they're supremacist rednecks - I'm pretty sure we have our fair share up here in Canuckland. It's so depressing to see the lack of tolerance and feelings of equal rights. Part of me wants Obama to win just so I can see all the anti-muslim and anti-black people eat their words.

The Left 4 Dead demo drops this week, on the sixth I think. I dunno how much farther I'll get in FarCry by then, but I can't be totally certain I'll pick it back up once the full L4D release arrives. That, and I'm eagerly anticipating Need for Speed Undercover. I think I'd much rather have the Grid expansion, but NFS has always delivered some good mindless fun.

And now for the customary syncing up of the iPod for the upcoming work week. A few podcasts, some lesser-played songs from my library so I can decide to delete them, and the odd straggler tracks I have collecting in my download folder.

So, America, good luck with your democracy-ing this week. I may have made an important decision by weeks end, if all goes well. Stay tuned...
-Cril

Sing a song of six-pence for your sake
And drink a bottle full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds in a cake
And bake 'em all in a pie

Rod Stewart - Handbags and Gladrags