More Media Roundup

Feeling... Quite horrible at the moment. I must be coming down with something - I'm light-headed and dizzy. It almost feels like all the blood keeps rushing out of my head. I've slept so much, it almost makes the weekend seem like a surreal dream. Such a waste of two days.

I actually have a small list of some philosofickle/behavioral ideas that I wanted to explore, but I really don't feel like getting into that stuff tonight. Perhaps I'll leave it for later in the week. In the mean time you're stuck with another 'this is what I've watched' post.

I saw One Week last week. It's an Canadian indie film, and is quite good. For a basic plot... It's about a guy who discovers he has cancer and buys a motorcycle to go have an adventure. He then rides all the way across the country with nothing else but a camera. Really good stuff. I forget who did it, but the narrator's voice was quite soothing to listen to. Overall it's a very good movie, but it some spots it felt like it was trying a bit too hard to be 'Canadian'. It got rather stereotypical in some spots, and certainly felt like it played up the patriotic angle. Anyways, I still recommend it. Fantastic movie.

I watched Thin Red Line this week in two or three chunks. It's a three-hour movie, so I didn't really have the opportunity to sit down and watch it all in one go. Anyways, it's about several different characters from the same Marine outfit that's attacking an island in the pacfic during WWII. I usually stick to the European theatre, so it was a good opportunity to get exposed to some new stuff. It was a fairly solid movie, good writing and good action. It wasn't quite as gruesome as I had anticipated, which was nice. I fully understand the need to depict the horrors of war, but sometimes it just feels like gore for gore's sake. Anyways, the movie revolves around three or four flawed characters, and how they're all facing their demons and fears. The main character had a lot of voice-over/narration on top of visuals, but something wasn't quite right with the mixing. It was really difficult for me to understand what he was saying. Still, it was a pretty touching movie.



Annnd, I finished reading the Diary of Anne Frank. It's a really amazing piece of literature. That girl was much more wise and intelligent beyond her age. So much of that book is quotable material, with valuable insights and unique observations. I was really sucked in as she developed her relationship with Peter and they eventually fell in love. It was amazing how it changed her outlook on the world and improved her attitude. It was so brutal, then, how the diary ended so abruptly. It just... Stopped. And then you get this pit in your stomach, because it was the end of the line for her life. The epilogue was really difficult to read. The fact that she found her friend, Lies, in Auchwitz was heart-breaking. What was even worse was when it described that Peter had left on a winter march during the retreat, and was never heard from again. It's so brutal. It also mentioned that the standard reward for leading to the arrest of Jews in Holland was $1.40 a head. Was the person that turned them in able to live with the fact that he destroyed eight lives for $11.20? How can that be worth it? I know when times are difficult you're driven to do desperate things to secure resources, but that just doesn't seem right. It certainly makes you lose faith in humanity. The very last phrase of her diary reads "...I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and what I could be, if...there weren't any other people living in the world." It's poetic on so many different levels.

And that book pretty much rounds out a triangle of depressing holocaust stories. Life is Beautiful, Jakob the Liar, Diary of Anne Frank. All exceptional stories, so well done. Of course, knowing that the latter isn't a production of any kind and unaltered truth and fact is the worst of all.

Maybe I've satisfied my WWII craving for now.
-Cril

Ludovico Einaudi - Primavera

No love for tomorrow

Yaaay, I'm so glad the week is over. Booo, I'm so sad another one is about to start.

Finally got that ad submitted at work, which was nice to get out of the way. And no, I've yet to be replaced.

Uhrm... Started watching Joan of Arcadia. It doesn't hold up as well to how I remember it. Seems a bit too teen-angst-y. I'm only a few episodes in though, we'll see if it gets better. There are only two seasons, so it hopefully shouldn't be a massive waste of time to go through the whole thing.

I also started to watch Nurse Jackie, via Frank's suggestion. It's pretty good, like a decent balance between Scrubs and MASH. However... It feels like it's trying too hard to be edgy. The main character has so many flaws, it feels like they're just making her that way for the sake of doing so. We'll see. I'll give it a few more episodes.

What else... Saw Life is Beautiful again. It's been a while, but this one stood up very well to how I remember it. All around, it's just so well made. It'd be in my Top 5 list of movies, for sure.

Top Gear airs tonight! Apparently they'll reveal the identity of the Stig. I'm not sure if it'll be a hoax, completely absurd, or *gasp* serious. Can't wait - but I'll have to. It takes a while for new releases to download, but we should have it by this time tomorrow.

So much television/cinemetography. It's really getting to me. I simply don't enjoy sitting down to watch whatever's on - by the end I always feel unsatisfied and that I could've done something better with my time. I don't find it very relaxing or worth the time it takes to sit through an episode or movie. Don't get me wrong - I don't necessarily hate it. It's just that I really only enjoy movie or shows that I have some kind of connection with. I only watch things that strike a chord with me or that I'm passionate about. Watching some generic movie for the sake of watching a movie isn't that enticing. If I'm aiming to turn my brain off for a bit, video games are much more my poison. There's something to be said for trace amounts of interaction when being unproductive.

On a semi-related note, I spent three or four hours yesterday learning how to map in Left 4 Dead. For as much time as I've spent playing games, particularly those on the Source Engine, it's seems like a natural fit. My goal is to learn something new over the summer, and this might be it. I've got some of the basics down so far - there's still a LOT to learn, but I've dipped my toes in the water. It's surprisingly not as difficult as I had anticipated. Hopefully I can get a hold of floorplans for a location I'm familiar with, so I can be on familiar ground so to speak. It'll be a fun project.

It's kind of odd that I'm doing it in L4D. I haven't played in a while and it certainly isn't my fragging ground of choice. But the nature of gameplay suits what I want to do, and is a good place to start. It doesn't hurt that it's well documented too.

But, mind you... I've been spending a lot of time lately staring at the row of game shortcuts on the desktop. Nothing is really appealing to me at the moment. Yeah, I play a bit here and there to unwind or waste away some time... But nothing really gets me hooked. It serves its purpose, but I just have a hard time looking forward to it. I desperately want a new game to play. The problem is that there isn't anything good on the horizon. Sure, the closest thing is Arkham Asylum, but that comes out on August 25th. A whopping SIX days before I start school. I'll probably be too much of a nervous wreck to enjoy it.

And then school starts, and I'll be a busy nervous wreck. Which sucks, because between NFS Shift, The Saboteur, Assassin's Creed II, Beatles Rock Band, Modern Warfare 2, Starcraft 2, and a fistful of other titles, it certainly looks like it'll be a fantastic fall/winter for gaming. And I'll get to enjoy very little of it. Sigh. C'est la vie.

On another note, I emailed Codemasters:

Dear the fine folks at Codemasters,

Seriously, what gives? When will the 8-Ball expansion pack for Grid make it's way to the PC? I'm an absolute massive fan of Grid - I can't put it down, it's by far the best racing game I've ever played. And I want more. It's so unfair - why do the consoles get all the love, while your ever faithful and steadfast PC fans are left out in the cold? Common, show us some appreciation! You've left us wondering since early December, and not even the slightest shred of an idea regarding what's happening. Don't you trust us? We're kind, decent folk - honest!

Forever your Grid crack addict, eagerly waiting for the next hit he's willing to pay for...
-Chris

To which they replied...

I'm afraid we don't have a release date for release on PC at this moment in time, it should however still be released.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Kind regards
Jorn
Codemasters Customer Services

Wow, thanks guys. Yeah, that's so helpful. I can't wait for that expansion that's so obviously been unofficially canceled, so that customer support can't tell you that they don't care about PC gamers. Fantastic. Also, I emailed Gabe from Penny Arcade to ask how he does his textured backgrounds and people from Total Gaming Network to ask why I still haven't received prizes from a contest seven months ago.



I've yet to receive responses from either, and I sent my emails last weekend.
-Cril

We love in vain
Narcissistic and so shallow
The cops and queers
To swim you have to swallow
Hate today
No love for tomorrow
We're all stars now in the dope show
We're all stars now in the dope show
There's lots of pretty, pretty ones
Who want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low
And blow your mind

Marilyn Manson - The Dope Show

Fickle Tidbits

So, lil' bit of fun news today. First off, my boss(es) announced that we're taking on a new employee. And, apparently, he's taking over my job. Mind you, I found out that last part from his young, semi-brashful daughter. You may want to take it with the largest grain of salt you can find.

Next up, I got declined for student loans! Woo! I hope this isn't an omen for how the next four years are going to go. But really, it just means that in the proportional scale of debt to lost savings relationship, the latter will take the biggest hit. For the first year, at least. It also means that if I intend to avoid telling lies on future loan applications, I'll need to devise some sort of plan for my existing monies. As fun as it would be to blow through my entire savings, I'd much rather hang on to a decent portion of it. That way if I find myself up against something nasty, I still might have some maneuvering room.

And lastly... Within the past two weeks, I've done twenty ad concepts. I'm by no means some sort of creative juggernaut - I feel truly, mentally spent. I can't believe I worked through lunch today to churn out five worthless half-ideas. Generally speaking, in the life of a single print advertisement ten concepts is about normal, five if I'm lucky. Fifteen is a bit of a stretch, and twenty is absolute hell. The best part about all of this? It was supposed to be submitted by today. Instead it hasn't. At least a concept was chosen to work off of, but that's another few hours to refine and tweak. If all goes well, I'll have it done for tomorrow afternoon. I really hate missing deadlines, especially for something like this. Makes me feel so... Unprofessional.



Oh well, not that it matters anyways. Apparently I'm being replaced.
-Cril

Cellar door what's the use?
Cellar door are you open to find me?
Iron ore shields remorse
When I look, I look to your beautiful name
And find you're not the same

Cellar door what's the case?
Are you locked in your shadow's embrace?
Do you feel so insane?
That you don't, you don't want to show me your face
But I, I can relate

Holly Brook - Cellar Door

Opinions

Okay, there's something that's been bothering me a bit over the last little while. Not really a large or significant issue, but frustrating. Sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity, as one lyric says.

I hate opinions. I don't know if I can describe it well, or even at all. I'll try to keep it short, I can see this as being something I could get carried away with. But let me clarify - I don't hate the opinions of other people. I mean, yeah - there are some cases where someone is just so utterly nuts, that you hate them and their ideas. Hitler hated Jews. There's no possible way I can look at that and not say "Oh well, it's one man's opinion, let's move on." (And yes, I just Godwin'd myself - feel free to use that as a convenient excuse to abandon the remainder of this post, before it gets oh-so-wonderfully convoluted and/or poorly structured)

I forget where I read it (it may have been a comment on Digg, of all places), but someone said that part of being in a free country/society involves living with or close to people who don't do things the way you would. I believe it was put more elegantly than that, but I really appreciate the sentiment. I'd like to think I'm a pretty tolerant guy - everyone's entitled to live their life as they see fit, so long as it doesn't negatively interfere with anyone else.

So when someone comes up to me and says that they vote Liberal, enjoy commuting every day in their 3 ton pickup, and can't understand why people would waste time on video games... I'm okay with that. Consciously, that is. I think to myself, "well, nowhere out there does it say that people need to think and live the way I do", and let them go about their business.

But deep in the back of my head, there's this blaring alarm going off. How could someone possibly live like that? How could they be so wrong? AH-HA! There it is! See, in the front of my mind I know that none of it possibly matters. In the back of my mind, I can't wrap around the concept that someone is doing something that is so incredibly flawed. And somewhere in the middle, between those two areas... Are where my own opinions and thoughts are stored.

So is that all how it works? My entire outlook is dependent on my own fickle conclusions for every single subject I've encountered? And no, I'm not completely crazy - I don't get worked up over anything and everything. Most of the things people do or think I simply couldn't care less about. While others... Absolutely make my blood boil. But none of it matters. They aren't hurting anyone or thing. They're just going about it differently than the way I think it should be approached.

I'm running in circles here, aren't I? Let me try and move into some sort of conclusion. I don't hate other people or their opinions. I hate the fact that I feel so passionately entitled to my own. I don't understand why I need to feel like I'm right about something so obviously subjective. I know it's that way for some very basic reason - some essential step in our evolution and design dictates that those wires in our brains need to be hooked up just so. But to what end? Who says what I think is more valuable than the person next to me? What's with the deep rooted sense of entitlement to be "right" about something? It doesn't make sense, I'm not so sure I want it.



I am not special. I am not a beautiful or unique snowflake. I'm the same decaying organic matter as everything else. I'm not my job. I'm not how much money I have in the bank. I'm not the car I drive. I'm not the contents of my wallet. I'm not my f*cking khakis. I'm the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
-Cril

I talk of freedom
You talk of the flag
I talk of revolution
You'd much rather brag
And as the decibels of this disenchanting discourse
Continue to dampen the day

The coin flips again and again, and again,
And again as our sanity walks away

All this discussion
Though politically correct
Is dead beyond destruction

Live - White, Discussion

Hyde 2612

I've watched so much TV over the past two days, it makes me feel sick. It must've been at least... Seven episodes of Life on Mars. Granted, it's a fantastic show. But at a full 60 minutes a pop, it adds up rather quickly. I actually saw the series less than a year ago, but it stood up well to another viewing. It really let me pick up on a few of the small details and hints that were strung along the storyline. And it gave me the chance to realize what exactly about the show I find so irresistible - the mix of brutal, gritty realism with absolutely mind-boggling surrealism. On minute it's a down-to-earth cop/crime show, and then this bizarre element gets thrown in from far left field. You'd think that it'd just get annoying, but the pieces fit together so well, it's hard to deny the appeal. That, and Gene Hunt is a fantastically written and acted character. And the fact that Liz White is a rather attractive woman doesn't hurt either.

Aside from that, I took the opportunity this past week to get two more WWII films under my belt. First off, Jakob the Liar. Fantastic movie. Not that I've had any first-hand exposure to Polish Jews, but the movie did a great job with portraying their culture. The fact that despite having English dialogue all characters had appropriate accents really paid off (I'm looking at you, Valkyrie). And I was blown by Robin William's performance. I thought he might turn out to be an awkward actor for the setting and role, but he fit right in. The movie was very similar to Life is Beautiful, both in its nature and plot. Light-hearted tones in the midst of a much darker, oppressive atmosphere with a twist at the end that really tears a chunk of your soul out.

The other film I saw was Grave of the Fireflies. It's an asian-style animated cartoon about a family during the firebombing campaigns on mainland Japan during the last legs of the war. I hesitate to call it 'anime' due to the subject matter... This one was rather serious and depressing. Let me rephrase that - very serious, and extremely depressing. Perhaps it was because the main characters were children who were incredibly out of their depth. It really hurt to watch. There were a few 'sweet' moments a la Life is Beutiful or Jakob the Liar, but for some reason I couldn't actually enjoy them as such. You know they were just the smaller positive steps set you up for an even harder fall. It was really hard to bare. I appreciated it though. The quality of the animation and acting was rather medeocre, but the story was quite unique. Well, for me at least. I'll admit I'm not up on my knowledge of the Pacific Theatre, so I found this to be a bit of an eye-opener. It was a good point of view to be exposed to.



And that pretty much brings me way down off of the high from happy-fun uplifting movies. But in the mean time, I've found bliss in the form of Scala and the Kolacny Brothers. They're a Belgium group comprised of a teenage girl's choir and two composers/pianists. Right now I'm listening to one of their cover albums. It's so... Unsettling listening to such beautiful, elegant and innocent voices singing such dark thoughts and lyrics. I just can't resist this delicious juxtaposition of odd elements.
-Cril

All I do
I can still feel you

Numb all through
I can still feel you
Hear your call
Underneath it all
Kill my brain
Yet you still remain
Crucified
After all I've died
After all I've tried
You are still inside

All I do
I can still feel you

You remain
I am stained

Scala and Kolacny Brothers - Underneath it All

An Unhealthy Dose of the Healthy

I went to see Up last night (in 3d!!). Like all Pixar movies, it was a wonderfully uplifting and sweet story, with quirky traits, lots of imagination, and all sorts of clever humour. In this particular movie, however, two things struck me. First, the character design.



Especially the main character, Carl, caught my eye. Just look at the face... Ok, maybe not the one here that I drew. Go look it up, my craptactular sketch doesn't do it justice. But when you look at Carl's face, it's such a wonderful combination of angles and curves. Harsh, square jaw and eyebrow lines with long and thin wrinkle accents. Then in the middle is a big, round and smooth nose smack dab in the middle. His hair is so wavy, and white. And right in the middle, fat and thick glasses. It's just a gorgeous combination of (seemingly) mis-matched styles that end up being so pleasant to look at. Absolutely fantastic art direction. The other characters looked good... But Carl was just so absolutely striking.

The other thing that stood out to me was the animation done with the animals. All the little mannerisms really add up, both the dogs and bird seemed so... Plausible. And even more than that, they did a good job at making each critter have its own personality. I mean, yeah - giving all the dogs english voices is kind of cheating in that category, but it all comes together well. I particularly liked Kevin the Bird, he seemed awkward and goody.



Two days ago, I watched Amelie. It's such a quirky movie - the delivery is incredible. It's such a fantastic change from the cliche and predictable films we generally see coming out of North America. There was very little predictable about Amelie, however. I really, honestly, had no idea what was around the corner. They did a good job keeping you wondering as the plot unraveled. And the small nuances that had zero bearing on the plot... Totally brought everything together. It made average people that aren't really that important to plot seem so much more significant than throw-away characters. Fantastic film. And, like Up, it's an overwhelmingly uplifting and positive film. There were a few of the submissive, almost underlying elements that I made a connection with. Good movie, and French is such a lovely language to listen to.

Two happy-go-lucky uplifting movies in a row? It's a rather unhealthy and unbalanced dose of happy endings to get so close together. I'm working on offsetting that by reading Anne Frank's Diary, and I think I'll watch Jakob the Liar shortly. I mean, they could end up all happy-like, but considering they're both about Jews during WWII... I'm guessing that's not the case. Oh well, I've been on a bit of a WWII binge lately. I've seen Saving Pvt Ryan and The Desert Fox recently, and I still have Grave of the Fireflies, The Thin Red Line, and Das Boot ahead of me. Good stuff.

In other news, us iPod Touch owners just got screwed over again. Thanks for your fantastic post-purchase customer support, Apple!
-Cril

Yann Tiersen - Comptine D'Un Autre Ete - L'Apres Midi

Sitting on the dock at the bay

Hokay, so: Maker Faire. I'll break it down quick and furious-like, so that I don't need to dwell on anything.

-Due to some hectic and secret last minute planning, we rigged it so that my bro (who just graduated from university) could come down to the Faire with us. It worked out great, he surprised everyone, and it was nice to see him for a few days (even though we didn't do anything together)
-We were required to make hand-drawn posters for our products. I sat down and drew and drew and drew for two hours, and made some pretty craptacular images. Worst part of the Faire, by far. I wasted so much time and effort on something that turned out so poorly. In my defense, though, I don't think I've drawn with Sharpies... Ever. That, and I'm completely useless with physical mediums anyways.
-Worked roughly twenty-four hours over the two days of Maker Faire, and spent a combined total of about forty-five minutes not at the booth. That being said...
-Didn't really get a chance to really see anything at the faire, except for a round of RC naval warfare. Which was, quite frankly, awesome.

...aaaand that's all I experienced at Maker Faire. Aside from that, though, we spent some time at the Half Moon Bay beach, which was gorgeous. The ocean was so loud, I had the opportunity to sit by myself and play my ocarina by the surf and nobody could hear me. It was my only moment of serendipity for the entire trip, and I quite enjoyed it. Except when friend/co-worker/roommate came up to photograph me. I don't like having my picture taken and I was fine being alone, but she insisted. Mind you, I've yet to see said images, so it could all just be a clever ruse.

...

I don't think she actually follows this particular corner of the interwebs, so all my oh-so-subtle hinting may be for naught. But here's my revenge - I drew her foots during the return flight:



Moving on, we spend Monday just bumming around San Fran. Highlights include being crammed into a streetcar (yay - I went on vacation to another country just so I could take public transit!), later riding a trolley (which was actually pretty neat), wasting an hour at Pier 31 (which consists of a massive collection of worthless tourist shops crammed with an endless array of pointless memorabilia), getting semi-lost in the city and walking the streets for a half-hour or so, and briefly stopping at Ghirardelli's before having to get to the airport, and... That's probably it. Oh, lots of nice cars in California. I spotted a Ferrari Somethingorother, Caterham 7 (!), 63 Porsches (one of which was a Carrera with a bike rack), Lotus Elise (up close and personal in a parking lot), Tesla Roadster (likewise up close and personal) and a DMC Delorean (!!!). The latter was by far the highlight. I've never seen one before, and I never expected it to be on the road instead of a museum or garage.

Overall, the San Fransisco/California expedition was... Okay, I guess. There were just so many people everywhere. It's not my idea of a good time to go from one overpopulated city to another, particularly to points of interest where the concentration is even higher. There were some neat things I saw and did, and I did enjoy myself here and there. But I would not ever spend my own money to do it again. I don't mind doing it for work, but I don't understand the desire to go somewhere and do dopey tourist things that a bajillion other dopey tourists do and have done. If I'm going to go on a vacation, I at least want to pretend I'm doing something unique, dammit.



But that's just me. Maybe I'm just too introverted for my own good.

In other news, I submitted my application for loans this weekend. Goooodbye savings, hellooooo debt. Being student is going to be FUN!!
-Cril

If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there

Scott McKenzie - San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair)

Note: The song starts off with this almost oppressive, dark tone. It's a shame that the lyrics are so shallow and flimsy and that the counter-melody feels like it was recorded separately and spliced in.