Striking Close to Home

Whelp, I survived the final week of the semester. I think everything went a bit better than expected.

But something happened that kinda struck me. Last week I talked about the disconnect between what I thought of communism versus the experiences of those that have lived it. On Tuesday, this hit pretty close to home. Look at this:

First off, it certainly isn't mine. It belongs to a Chinese exchange student we'll call Allie. She drew this image of Liu Xiaobo, for the final Illustration assignment where we had to make a piece to accompany a news article. That brown/red palette and the flowing robes completely suck me in. But I digress.

Xiaobo is a Chinese citizen who was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. This was against the wishes of the government, who threw him in jail and prevented his relatives/friends from accepting the award on his behalf. Allie created this piece to accompany the commentary on this controversial story, and decided to post it on her blog to show all of her friends and family. She didn't even use tags or a description, but the Chinese government found the image and banned/deleted her entire blog. I don't have all of the exact details, but this is what I happen to understand of the situation.

Now I don't know if you've noticed, but I like my blog. It's one of my most effective means of catharsis, and I enjoy documenting all my useless thoughts and opinions to come back and review years/months down the road. I would be absolutely devastated if I were to lose everything I've accumulated so far. So in between that and belief that no one should have their ideas silenced, I did the only thing I could - I asked her permission to host the image. Somewhere, I hope, that the Chinese government wouldn't have control over. I certainly hope that's the case - I'd be equally anguished if I lost my images and their descriptions.

I find it a bit alarming and amusing by the 'stance' I've taken against oppression. Some people protest and risk life and limb to get a message across. I just put a picture on the internet, but I still think it's some kind of big deal. Really, it isn't. I haven't done anything noteworthy. I can't say that I'd go and picket or actively fight such a regime. But here I am, doing whatever it is I do from the comfort of my computer chair.

Anyways. Even the fact that I did something about it isn't my main point. I knew that China has a history of censorship and tight control over media. I knew that this kind of stuff happens all the time. But when it occurred right on my academic doorstep... It really made a connection. Especially the one week after I put down my thoughts about my views on the matter. It was like a ton of bricks that came out of nowhere. The world is, in fact, a scary place, and it's becoming rapidly apparent to me just how much I take for granted in day-to-day life.

I submitted the image to Reddit not too long ago. I wanted to spread it around - I wanted people to see what was trying to be suppressed, as a pathetic effort to strike back at a horrible regime. I expect one, maybe two dozen views. In the past 24hrs the image has received +33,000 views, and it keeps climbing. Maybe I'm still incredibly naive about these things, but part of me is incredibly worried that this might backfire and get Allie into even more trouble. It would be a stupid price to pay for my miserable attempt to make a worthless stand. So I sit here and I worry I've just doomed some perfectly nice and talented individual I barely know. It's all striking close to home, indeed. Too close, I think.
-Cril

If they should ask
Then maybe they'd
Tell me what I should say
True colors fly
In blue and black
Bruised silken sky
And burning flag
Colorscrash
Collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go

This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go

Scala and Kolacny Brothers - Bad

The Winds of Change Whisper in the Trees

Oh my. It's been a while. A long while. There's a fistful of things I want to talk about, but there's far too much material there to fit into the last half-hour or so before I need to get ready for tomorrow and call it a night. So tonight we're keeping it simple.

I'm sitting here pounding the keys away as a last minute resort to put off the next week. I'll have a project due every single day, except for Friday. There's so much to do, and here I am... Not doing it. Feelin' a bit fried, to be honest.

I've discovered the wonders of going in to school on Saturday to do homework. It's particularly easy now that I've discovered that there isn't a parking attendant for the campus lot that day, so it's nice to cut out that 10-20min walk on the weekend. But yeah, go in to school around 10, work to 9 or 10, and go home. There might be a grand total of five or six other people from my year of the program in the school. I'm normally at my usual desk, with two or three other people in the class with me. I get in, and work, work, work. I'm a lot more productive than when I stay home, where I tend to get distracted easily.

This last week I've been staying on campus until 9... every night. Class ends and I just stay at my desk and keep plugging. There's so much to do. But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure what kind of light - I know that once Friday afternoon rolls around I'll need to do shopping and cleaning and organizing. I haven't even begun to start preparing for Christmas. But my break is about two and a half weeks long, five of which I'll be spending at home. The rest... I'll be working, of course.

Did I mention that I buggered up my neck yesterday? Because I've let me hair grow out and I'm rather shaggy, it collects quite a bit of moisture in the shower. To try and get rid of some of this excess dihydrogen monoxide I figured it'd be a good idea to thrash my head around. So I threw up the horns and rocked my head up and down like a rock star, until something in my neck went 'pop'. It's a fine time to do it, too, when I have a MASSIVE project I need to do that involves getting up close and personal with some paper for the purpose of cutting itty-bitty pieces. It ain't so much fun, let alone with a finicky spinal column.

I've been tutoring a bit this semester, and it's been a really interesting experience. Sure, the paycheck is nice, but I really enjoy being able to help people. There's something to be said for guiding people along the right track. That is, when they WANT to be on the right track. Not like the student who comes in five days before the exam and informs me she's missed the last two weeks of classes. Or the other student who sends in essays for me to proof that are so grammatically... special... that I have a hard time understanding what they're trying to say at all. Two weeks ago, all the major papers were due. I think I spent more time doing other people's homework than my own. There was one night where I proofed two papers, and stayed up until midnight waiting for another, which I corrected and sent back. I ended wrapping things up around 1AM, which is a wee bit late for the likes of me.

The real eye-opener, though, was working with some of the international students. There's one girl who is so sweet, but she's incredibly uptight. And another that writes such great essays that I question why she comes in at all. And a very old Asian lady that is so obviously far out of practice for academic assignments. The interesting thing here, however, is that this old lady is/was taking a Humanities course that focuses on great thinkers (Plato, Martin Luther King Jr, Rousseau, etc), and had to write a paper about Karl Marx's theories. She grew up in Hong Kong, and had such an overwhelming passion and bias against the man. Calling him a murderer, psychopath, etc. It was a challenge to keep that paper 'formally' written. But just that intense point of view really made me stop and think. To me, communism is an intriguing ideal and Marx was a philosopher who was perplexed with the problem of how to provide for the working class. To this old lady, communism was all about control and abuse of power, and Karl Marx had never contributed anything worth while to humanity. It really made me realize how easy it is to be an arm-chair thinker and end up coming to drastically different opinions from the people who actually live the topic you're analyzing.

I've been trying to expand my Christmas music collection this year, so I did a bit of downloadin'. MAN, there are a bunch of craptacular holiday covers. I'm bombing through loads of music and indiscriminately deleting songs without even listening to them all the way through. All of this was kind of spurred on by trying to find a decent version of When a Child is Born. There's something about that faintly melancholy melody. But you see, this song is plagued by one or both of two problems - crappy, wavering/flourishy vocals and the stupid monologue in the middle (I loathe monologues in the middle of songs). I have versions with one of the problems, and I have versions with both of the problems. If you know of an un-craptacular rendition, let me know.
-Cril

It's all a dream, an illusion now.
It must come true sometime soon somehow
All across the land dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass when a child is born

Judy Collins - When a Child is Born