Monday, May 09, 2011

Sucker's Luck

Well this is certainly long over due. Not only has the semester ended, but I've started another. So, let's take things from the top, shall we?

The winter semester was brutal. I think I spent more total time on assignments last semester, but this one was rough. Due in large part to Typography II. It is, without a doubt, the class that I've learned the most from over the last two years. It had even less to do with typography itself than the name lends itself too. Sure, type was a big, massive part of it, but most of the theory was based on the organization of elements, and grouping, grouping, grouping. Contrast, hierarchy, utilizing white space. Learned a metric crap-ton.

But there were only two marked assignments, and the first one I (and most other students) bombed royally. It was that class after it was handed in that the prof gave the presentation where the use of grids finally clicked for me. It made sense, but that didn't translate into any kind of practical confidence. The next assignment, a short book on a typeface, kicked my ass. I have no idea how much time I poured into that thing. It had to have been at least 50hrs, and I ended up doing two or three drastic redesigns/revisions over its course. It made me instantly jealous of some of the other students who were clearly understanding it better than I was. It was just a natural fit for them, and I had to work and work to get half way to where they were after a single evening of homework. And even when it was all said and done... I still thought that it was underwhelming. But I got burnt out on it at the end, and handed it in all the same. Do what you can and let go of it, I guess.

What surprised me what the mark I got. Okay, let's step back for a second. My prof for that course is the head of the entire Bachelor of Design program, and usually only teaches fourth year courses. I've never seen someone so talented and important be so... Distracted and scatterbrained. Still, a great guy. But that's besides the point - he was a brutal marker. I understood where he was coming from, but that first assignment we got back was a real blow. And my second/final project got... A semi-decent grade. Based on my previous project, I was hoping to get a mark that was a full letter grade below what I actually received. I was pleasantly surprised.

The other notable part of the semester was Motion Graphics, which I really, thoroughly enjoyed. Like, I really truly loved it and it was, without a doubt, the highlight of my semester. It was basically a crash course in Adobe After Effects, which is used for 2D and semi-3D (aka 2.5D) animations. If you've seen any kinetic typography before, I can almost guarantee you that this program was used. It's a very powerful application, and I really appreciate the exact control you have over everything. The down side to this is that, even though I've signed up for it, Motion Graphics II may or may not run at all next year. It has something to do with not enough funding and student interest, blah blah. All I can say is that I'll be SUPER bummed out if I can't take it next year. It doesn't help that the only alternative would be to take a live action/filming course, which doesn't interest me in the slightest. Part of it could be a personality thing, as I know I have more control in Motion Graphics, and there will be less unknowns.



I'll have to do a proper post-mortem on my second year and half-way mark of my education when I have more time. I believe I can sum it all up, though, by saying "I'm half way there! Ugh, I'm half way there..." In the mean time, I started history and design theory courses today. Hooray, academic papers.

I went to the orchestra last week. Long story short, I used this particular event to do a poster design assignment around, and I sent it to the orchestra, who lined me up with two complimentary tickets for the effort. The plan was to take someone along, but the stars didn't quite align. Apparently there aren't that many people into hardcore classical music. So I went by myself. And it was incredible. The tickets placed me 5 or 6 rows from the stage. The sound was... It's like pure euphoria was being channeled directly into my ear canals. You know that string movement from that movie soundtrack you kinda like? Imagine being in that music. I don't know how else to describe it. The feeling simply can't be reproduced with speakers. Gorgeous stuff.

The morning after, I moved. It kinda made me more absent minded than I would have liked to have been for such a wonderful performance, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. But, yeah. This is me, coming to you LIVE from a new place of residence. I looked around at eight or nine different places over the space of a week while classes were wrapping up and I resumed working full time. Saw some real dumps, some not so dumpy dumps, met some shady-lookin' people... And in the end I found a pretty good room in a good neighborhood at a good price. The landlord and his family have a very different culture than mine (let's just say their accents are rather thick and I had to buy my own forks and knives because they don't own any). It's been an interesting experience so far, but I don't have many complaints. It certainly doesn't smell like 'home' though. That'll take some getting used to.

Ah, 'home'. Such an arbitrary term. I have no idea what it means to me at the moment, aside from "that's where I sleep and keep all my crap". Oh, and all the crap I have... I wish I wasn't such a pack rat. I hold onto way too much stuff, and even then I find myself running out to buy some essentials I don't yet own. I'm lucky I got such a decent deal with a big enough space - I'm not sure where I would've kept all my boxes o' junk. The last time I moved I had about half a car load worth of stuff. This time I had three. I could probably cut out... A quarter of it, but the rest I don't want to get rid of. Le sigh. Such is the nature of the beast, I suppose.

In other news, I came upon a startling epiphany the other day. I'm in an abusive relationship. A very abusive relationship. Through no fault of my own, I find myself suddenly left all on my own. I put lots of uncomfortable time and effort into salvaging things to make it like it was before. And in this intermediate period I think of how I'd be better off on my own, and how I should just move on. But once we're back together... I'm hooked. I can't stand being away. The doubts still linger, but the excitement and thrill of it all manages to cloud my judgement just enough so that I don't do anything to rock the boat. I end up holding off until the next falling out, where the cycle repeats itself.

I am, of course, talking about my car. I've sunk... Far too much money into that damn contraption over the past three months. It's been in the shop for at least three different issues. You how things are getting bad when the mechanic doesn't need you to leave your phone number, because he already knows it. You know things are really bad when he tells you he isn't sure about this car and how much time and effort (aka $$) you're sinking into it to keep it on the road. But then I get it back and start it and drive off... And I have a hard time imagining being without it. I saw another green Integra while I was on campus, and I immediately started missing my car and wanted to go for a drive. Even though it was just parked a 10min walk away. How pathetic is that? I miss it whenever I'm not even in it. But it just keeps breaking on me. And I think "SURELY IT WILL NOW BE RELIABLE, THAT I'VE FIXED THIS LAST PROBLEM." And then Life laughs at me, and before I know it I'm crammed into a bus with my backpack, laptop bag and portfolio on the way to school, where I'll spend all day with a nervous eye on my cellphone. This is getting stupid. Whenever I step into it and turn the key, I have a half expectancy that it won't even start, and that when it does it won't go into gear (or some such nonsense). But it works. And once I get rolling, all the cares just drain away and I'm a happy man on the road with his machine. Sigh. It's hopeless. I don't know what to do.

The best part about my new place is that across the street, the neighbor keeps a 997 Porsche GT3 in the garage. He takes it out to wash it every once and a while. There's nothing quite like waking up and hearing this weird, mechanical growling noise, only to look out the window and realize that, oh, it's only a $115,000 430HP+ supercar being revved. That can never possibly get old. Hopefully someday I'll man up and grow the courage to walk across the street and ask the owner if I can take a closer look.

What else? Oh yeah, it's been crazy-go-nuts at work. I referred a tutor I worked alongside at school to the business, and now we're coworkers. She's pretty cool, I enjoy working with her, even though she's technically my replacement for while I'm in school. That bit gets kinda awkward at times. What else... I'm going to San Fransisco with everyone at the office next week for a trade show. That'll be fun. Oh, and two people from the office quit, in a spectacular display of drama. Somehow out of that I got a fairly not unsubstantial raise, which was nice (and rather unexpected). Annnnd, yeah. I'm trying to maintain 40hrs a week while I'm taking spring courses. That'll be fun. And the plan is to work 60hrs this summer to pay for the next school year. I just don't have the motivation at the moment, but hopefully I can work back up to it by the time the spring semester wraps up.

Better than expected grades in school, found a good place to live, car's happy and on the road, got a raise... It should be enough to call it a day and say "everything went better than expected." Instead, I have this underlying sense of dread. Maybe it has to do with starting my academic courses, or the upheaval at work, or my... car. Or maybe it's my inner pessimist trying to keep my head out of the clouds and near the ground. I just don't know. But I feel kinda broken right now.
-Cril

You've got sucker's luck
Have you given up?
Does it feel like a trial?
Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?
Does it feel like a trial?
Did you fall far for the same emptinesses again?

Vilify
Don't even try
Vilify
Don't even try

The National - Exile Vilify