So the Lego movie is out, to great critical acclaim. It was kind of a rude awakening when I saw it making headlines and clued into the fact that that meant it was actually released. About a year ago, maybe a bit more, one of the first trailers for it came out and I showed it to my younger cousin who's a big Lego fan. We agreed that it looked good, and I told him that when it came out I'd be out of school and would take him to go see it. Just him and me.
And with this one little movie release, I've been hit with this huge wave of what I thought I was supposed to be doing right now, a solid 6 months after I had graduated from school. Working full time, learning to cook, taking instrument lessons, and... A car. I was supposed to have bought a new car by now.
What an odd alternate reality. Looking back to when I was planning those things, I don't think being in New York was even a remote option. I remember when the original SVA scholarship was announced at school, and I chuckled to myself. Yeah, right. I've had enough school, I'm poor, I'm tired, there's no way in hell I'd apply for something like that.
But here I am, on the wrong side of the continent. I don't know if he remembered my offer or not, but I feel pretty bad about not being able to take my cousin for an evening out. In a lot of ways, that vision of where I was going to be is still really alluring, and it makes me kinda sad that so much of it has been scattered to the wind.
I was talking with a friend, and the following question came up: If you had a Ctrl+Z button to undo an entire year of your life, how many times would you have used it? She said one or two. I agreed, but added on the stipulation that looking at it now, I'd probably hesitate. Any one tiny change could really derail where I am now. And while some things along the way sucked and I wished I could redo bits and pieces... I think I'm okay leaving it all the same if it means I won't run the risk of losing how things are now. You know, the whole Back to the Future conundrum - seemingly change one innocent thing for the better, and all sorts of things later down the line will derail as a result.
I am where I am, and I glad I am. Maybe it's not the car and the cooking or money I miss out on most, but the people I seem to have left behind. I sure hope there will be other movies in our future.
-Cril
I’ve tried to cut these corners
Try to take the easy way out
I kept on falling short of something
I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldn’t have ’cause
I’ve traveled all this way for something
I take it in but don’t look down
Imagine Dragons - On Top of the World
