I haven't written here in a while. It's not that I've been busy... I've just been otherwise-occupied with various manners of fluff. Maybe it's the fact that all the forest fire smoke has kept me inside for most of the last month, but I can't help but feel my life is a large lake that's about two feet deep the whole way across. Looks great from the surface, but just lacking a bit of substance. Here are some of the things I've been spending my time on in a manner which has left me feeling like I've been living a life of perpetually temporary distraction:
Star Wars Battlefront 2
The gameplay is the dietary equivalent of a single teaspoon of mashed potatoes. And not the good mashed potatoes either - you know, with butter and some milk and a hit of dill. Nope. The core gameplay is a single potato, prepared by applying mash-like forces. It's like they calculated the perfect, inoffensive average of every shooter on the market. There are classes, and guns, and vehicles. You load up a map, where you fight other players that also have classes, guns, and vehicles.
But that's alright, because they took that little ball of mashed potato and coated it in the most gorgeous artisan Swiss milk chocolate coating. And drizzled some mouth-watering, calligraphic lines of caramel on top. My GOD this game is beautiful and sounds amazing. Not expense was spared for the sensory elements. The maps are full of detail and age, a character's equipment sways back and forth on the belt, and blasters shriek and blossom explosions across the map. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the most Star Wars of all stimuli I've ever come across in a game. Absolutely flawless - the devs have truly authored a masterclass in capturing the look and feeling of this certain galaxy far, far away.
But they took this glistening, candy-coated orb of delicate perfection, still filled with mashed potato, and wrapped it up in scraps from the paper manual to a 2004 Lexmark 3-in-1 printer/scanner/fax combo. They've made absolutely boneheaded decisions about the user experience surrounding how you play your game. Want to play a specific map? Too bad, you can't. Want to change to a different server for the same game mode? Too bad, you can't. Unlocked a new skill point and want to equip it right away? Too bad, you can't. Here's my favourite use case: I was playing on a server when a clan joined up and started steamrolling everyone. I couldn't change sides. I tried to join a different server, but it just dumped me back into the exact same session I had just left, still on the losing side.
And don't get me started on their ad-hoc loot box progressions.
I feel bad for the artists in this game, because they hit a massive home run. Then they stuck it on top of bland gameplay and wrapped it up in some stupid user experience. Many times I'd been playing and found myself thinking, "Man, I love how everything looks and sounds and feels. I'd love to play a real Star Wars game."
Also, the single player campaign had some good set pieces, but was predictable as hell.
I give it a 2/5.
Forza Motorsport 7
It's purdy. Real purdy. The cars sound great, and handle great. There's a truly mind-blowing amount of detail that went into this game, multiplied many times over the sheer number of cars and tracks.
I hate how some of the cars are locked behind "unique dealers", which is obviously a front to benefit premium members. I hate how the AI can be so inconsistent - slightly more lax than challenging on one race, and damn near impossible to keep up with on the next. I hate how the rain drops on the windshield don't seem to be properly affected by the car's movement.
I wish the single player had a proper campaign, where you start off with an entry-level car and slowly upgrade it to be more competitive, and work your way up the ranks. Instead it's just a bunch of individual, disjointed events grouped as tiers. Meh. Damnit Grid, you spoiled me for what a single player racing campaign should be. It really felt like I was building my own team up from scratch, sweating over choosing team mates, sponsors, and cars.
But back to Forza. It's good stuff, really. It's bloody impressive and is by far and away the most comprehensive racing sim I've ever had the pleasure of playing. I'll give it a solid 4/5.
No Man's Sky
Ninety hours later, I'm just now getting over my obsession with this game. It is criminally gorgeous. From the colours, to the impressive level of detail in the modelling and mechanical animation, to some of the odd and bizarre landscapes you encounter. It really fires up the imagination. The first half of my time with this game was spent under an addiction to exploring over just one more ridge. Then I transitioned into building and outfitting a base. Then gathering a fleet and dispatching them across the galaxy on missions. Then I wrapped up the single player missions - as strange as it was to play a game like this with no voice acting, it was oddly captivating. Next I did some trading and bought some better ships. Then I started a crusade to the heart of the galaxy via black holes... which have bugged out and stopped working for me.
Bugs. So, so many bugs. Some are little, some are game breaking. I've taken to manually backing up my save files, because the two saves the game has are not nearly enough to save you from falling through the geometry of a frigate, or having your base be suddenly filled in the side of the hill you had since excavated away.
And on top of that, the whole experience is a bit obtuse. Things aren't documented well, and most for most of my time playing, I had a browser open on the second monitor to help me figure out if the obstacle I currently faced was as the creators had intentioned, an unintentional bug, or just a feature that was implemented in a way totally neglectful to educating users as to how it should work. It's a bit of a mess.
But it's also a beautiful loneliness. It's an experience I haven't quite come across before, and I was surprised to get so sucked into it like I did. Being so isolated across such a stupefyingly grand scale. Alone with alien wildlife and plants, on planets doused in a vivid palette that changes from on planet to the next.
Bugs aside, this game is flawed. There are so many weird features and functions that don't make sense. Incredible depth in some areas, and a complete lack of it in others. But I love the ambition of it all the same. If it wasn't for the bugs that have driven my exploration to a halt, I'd give this game a perfect score. I want to give it a perfect score; I love the vision and ambition behind it all. Alas, 4/5.
Bomber Crew
Hrm, cute little characters hustling around a cute little bomber, trying to keep the thing in the air long enough to make it back home? The art style made me skeptical, especially considering it's for my keep-it-pure-and-reverent-genre of WWII. But in the end, it worked. It all just kinda came together in a surprising way, and I really, really enjoyed the process. Frustrating at times, yes, but when you finally figured out the strategy to crack a troublesome mission, it was really rewarding. Despite the cartoonish mechanics and presentation, it had a decent amount of depth respect for the source material. 4/5.
Like, All of Christopher Nolan's Movies
They're awesome. We're re-watching them and I love it all. 5/5
Game of Thrones, Many Seasons
Pretty darn good. Impressive how they manage to juggle so many characters at once and keep things satisfying. I'm quite invested and can't wait to see how it ends. Sometimes I feel like it's a tad too gory and they're too eager to show off some boobies. I'm not complaining about the last one, though.
What I will complain about though, is WHY DIDN'T SANSA TELL JON ABOUT THE KNIGHTS OF THE VALE?! Yeesh, what a blatant waste of life that could've been avoided.
?/5. We have three episodes to go, plus the entire final final season. They better not screw this up.
An Old Shitty Honda Motorcycle That's Worth Less Than the Cost of Getting the Carbs Properly Fixed and Re-tuned
At some point I was riding around to do some errands, and the following thought slipped through the folds of my brain: "Ah, finally something that makes summer worth it." I'm not going to try to explain or defend that statement, because it's quite frankly rather stupid and doesn't make sense. But I do enjoy riding a motorcycle in the summer.
I think this weekend autumn has landed with all the subtlety of a bag of bricks, and it sucks that I'll have to put the bike away soon. Oh well, it gives me something to look forward too in the spring.
5/5, until I get in an accident and am spread all over the pavement like chunky strawberry cream cheese.
-Cril
