Missing Connection

You know what? It kinda sucks not having a go-to wingman on hand. I wanted a hand with something the other day, something kinda personal and peculiar in my own way. And the thought occurred to me... I don't really have anyone in my class that I could trust with this. Or in the whole school, for that matter.

Well, it's not really an issue of trust. I know a handful of really good people in my class. I enjoy working with them, and we get along really well, and have a great time together as we wade through our four years of education. It's just that none of them... get me.

Wow. What a pretentious, angsty, teenager thing to say. But it's still true.

Outside of schoolwork, there's not much of a connection. And I know that if I were to go to one of these people with my strange little idea, they'd do their best to help me out. I don't doubt that at all. But none of them would understand said strange little idea. They'd give me funny looks and humour me the whole way through.

And that's what kinda unnerves me a bit. I have no one in my physical everyday life that I really see eye-to-eye with. And not on terms of politics or religion or whatever - that stuff shouldn't really matter. But in terms of personality. I guess what I'm getting at is... I don't know any decent introverts, dammit. And two introverts together is like a grand ol' vertex of introvertedness that's so incredibly satisfying in a way that I don't even have words for.

Who knows. Perhaps these are wildly unrealistic expectations, and it's next to impossible to find someone that I can interact with in precisely the way I'm imagining. But I can think of one or two people that if they were right there, yeah, I think I'd do alright to bounce a lil' bit of my crazy off of them. Even if they didn't totally understand why, they could somehow relate to it and trust me on the whole thing.

Bleh, look at me rambling on and not really saying anything. My point is... I know some good people at school/work, and enjoy spending time with them. But I don't have anyone I see in day-to-day life that I'd feel comfortable automatically leaning on. It kinda sucks, and I've found this whole epiphany to be more than a little unnerving.

Also, this is my 300th post and I have absolutely nothing interesting to say.
-Cril

Ludovico Einaudi - I Colori Caldi Della Terra