Word Association and the Next World War

I was entertaining an amusing train of thought this evening. Right now everyone's throwing around the "Recession" and "Depression" words left right and center. Being young enough that I didn't live through the slump during the 80's, all I have to go off of to relate to these words is what I was taught regarding the Great Depression. So when I go to make mental connections regarding these words, I often come to very bizarre conclusions that make things seem much worse than the actually are (or will be). Let me illustrate my point.


Figure 1. This is a Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4. And a very poorly drawn one at that. It has absolutely nothing to do with the point I'm trying to make. I just figured if I was going to use the phrase "illustrate my point" I'd use it as a crappy excuse to show something that was actually illustrated.

Ok, let me illustrate what I'm trying to get at. Except with words this time.

What do we associate with the 30's?

-Black and white, silent movies. OH NOES! The entertainment industry will be so poor during this recession that they won't be able to afford sound OR colour for new movies!


-Cars are rare and weak and decrepit. This obviously means most people will no longer afford to own and run an automobile, and those people who can will be stuck with pieces of junk that have rickety wheels and need to be started with a hand-crank. Oh wait, Ford/GM/Crystler are already working on this last part (ZINGAH!). Either way, say goodbye to beautiful machines of luxury and performance (see Figure 1).

-Lots and lots of radio. The internet and cable TV as we know it will degrade and become unusable. The only connection to a larger world will be what we can leech out of the airwaves. Also, the entertainment industry will continue on its path of "re-imagining" old series', so that we're once again huddled around the radio and listening to The New Howdy Doody or the Return of the Lone Ranger, in hopes we can find a brief escape from our dismal lives. A truly disturbing image.

-An old and crippled white man will be running the United States. Dick Cheney has now been removed from power, and I'm not sure where a black dude fits into any of this.

-Hobos on top of trains. Many of them. Every male between the ages of 18 to 30 will lose their job, and be forced to roam the country in search of work. Companies that fabricate the "hobo bags on a stick" will flourish, and become a thriving industry. Apple will release the chic "iBag" in an attempt to cash in. One year later, it will be called the "iBag Portable" and come with a free "iStick". The iStick itself will retail for twice that of the iBag, causing all the iHobos that bought the First Generation iBags to be "iPissed". They'll then ride the rails down to Apple HQ, singing their immortal anthem "iCan't Get No Satisfaction", where they start an iFire of large proportions. This iFire is a single production run, and will not see a product revision in traditional Apple style.

-The mass pilgrimage to partake the one-time-only iFire produces millions of hobo casualties. As modern trains travel much faster, they will litter the twisty mountain passages with the bodies of those who couldn't hang on. In the spring the corpses will thaw, producing a giant army of hobo zombies. The world reels and this unsuspecting attack on the west coast of North America, and resorts to mobilizing arms and forces to combat the new Nazi undead threat. A new World War has begun, and a new stronger economy will emerge.

-Cril

I come home last Friday, talk to the woman that I lost my job
She says don't confront me an' so I have my rent next Friday
An' next Friday come, I didn't have the rent an' out the door I went
Yes, yes!

Hmm, hmm
Yes, yes!

Come here now y'all, right 'cross the street here
Help me get this rent together
Some give me a nickel and some give me a dime

I'm tired of keepin' this movin' every night
I can't hold out much longer
Now I got this rent, now let's get together, y'all
Let's have a ball

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

John Lee Hooker - House Rent Boogie