Right now I'm feeling rather beat and run-down. I think it's the result of a few things. Moving to a new place was a bit of a hassle. On one hand, it was one of those great "I'M INDEPENDANT LOLOLOL" experiences, where I accomplished a lot on my own. It was pretty satisfying, but the stress surrounding it wasn't too fun. But I'm settled in, and I think I'm in a pretty good situation. That counts for something.
What really destroyed me, I think, was going to San Fran for a trade show. Without missing I beat, I went from full time school, to full time work plus moving, to overtime work plus part time school. I mean, yeah, 70hrs of combined school/work should be a walk in the park. That's pretty much what I was doing during the school year at least. But I think I was kinda hinging my hopes on the fact that end of full-time school = beginning of FULL TIME FUN! Well, I was expecting some sort of break, at least. Second year was way more difficult than last year (which reminds me, I need to do some sorta post-mortem), and I was expecting some down time. Instead I kept things on high, and plowed through.
The trip to San Fran was great, though. I worked pretty hard. I got a total of 15mins away from the booth during the show, and I used it to meet John Kovalic, the illustrator of Munchkin. Really cool dude. I had some good eats (have you ever had a bacon-wrapped pork chop?), got to sleep on the beach, see some neat-o electronic surplus stores, and really have an all-around good time goofing around with my co-workers. I think a highlight was eating a cheesecake imported from New York with everyone else, in a hotel lounge space, while the power cut out. All in all, the trip itself was pretty great.
I think it was the source of my ultimate demise, though. What really did me in was two things. First, it only occurred to me afterwards, but I was allergic to the bedding at the hotel where I stayed. My skin deteriorated within 24hrs, and I started to develop an infection. From there, it meant I didn't sleep well, and my waking hours (spent being rather busy) were spent in pain. It sucks when every inch of your skin feels like it's constantly being pricked with needles. The second issue was the flights. Inbetween getting to/from/through the airport and a connecting flight, we had to get up at 3:00AM both mornings, which meant I got even less sleep. I dozed off here and there on the flight, but no meaningful rest. I'm kinda bummed that I spent the flight in a semi-zombie state and missed the scenery. I love flying.
As a result, upon getting home, I was absolutely trashed. So freaking tired. Unbelievably exhausted. And my skin is still on the rebound. It feels like old, cracked leather.
This did wonders, of course, for the two courses I'm taking. I panned one exam, and did rather poorly on a paper. I remember that assignment - I hurriedly wrote it before I left, and proofed it/made final corrections once I got back because it was due the next day. No joke, I was falling asleep as I tried to finish it up. Bleh.
It's funny. I've thought a lot about having an opportunity to do a post, and I've been looking forward to it. I figured that surely all this pent up creativity and desire to do some writing would result in some sorta wonderful, coherent and flowing post. This is turning out to be a bit of a mess. Now back to your regularly-scheduled "writing".
It may be my overwhelming sense of feeling crappy and tired, but... Man, my work ethic is going all to hell. I'm having a hard time focusing and really being proactive with anything. If I didn't spend so much time procrastinating doing pointless things, I'd probably be able to do something more considerable. What little free time I've had has been going into a bit of Minecraft here and there. The odd session where I figure I'll do some house-keeping before calling it a night, then my uncle comes on and we go spelunking until it's 2AM. It's a wonderful game - the scenery and environment never seems to grow old.
So, there was one thing that happened on the trip that really stuck with me. On our last evening in the city, we went to a confection restaurant to get dessert before heading back to the hotel to pack. Ordered, sat down. I split a massive tray of ice cream with three other people. We demolished it pretty quick, and ended up sitting around and decompressing for a bit while the others finished. And I spotted an employee walking around, checking on customers, and looking for tables to clean. Ok, not so much walking around as gliding. I have no idea how old she was - I'm a terrible judge of such things - but she had this wonderful, natural blonde hair. She straddled the line somewhere between cute and downright beautiful. But there was just something about how she handled herself that really made a presence. Some sort of refined grace that didn't belong behind a messy apron, earning near-to-minimum wage. So as I sat there, I watched her go back and forth. Floating, almost. I thought to myself "Wow, she's an angel". And not in a corny, cliche love-struck way either. There was something in the way she moved and handled herself, and combined with that vibrant hair and countenance... It wasn't something I'd associate with the qualities of my lowly, mortal plane. So we wrapped up to go, and as we were leaving I heard someone behind the counter call, "Angel, could you give me a hand for a second?" Sure enough, she walks close enough to decipher the print on her name tag. Angel, indeed.
-Cril
I remember in the space and time
And I remember what we were like
All the matter was synthesized
Yeah I remember when the future died
And all the rain will keep it dark
Because of why I'm so alone
009 Sound System - Space and Time
