Sunday, July 18, 2010

A Bit Detached

Life's feelin' surreal. I slept into 11 this morning. 11. The best I can figure, the last time I even slept in past 10 was about a year ago. Alarm clock or no, I always become conscious at 7:30, and then I doze in 40minute spurts. But I slept clean through to an hour before noon. What's up with that? I'm not even running on a massive deficit of sleep, either. Maybe I'm sleepwalking.

But aside from a few extra hours of sleep, I'm just not feelin'... Right. Like I'm a rowboat tethered with a long rope to the dock at reality. I still feel somewhat attached to the world, but I'm just kinda drifting around. I go to work each day and can put in a solid 10hrs of productivity. When it comes to personal time, nothing feels right. Draw, read, game, walk, whatever. I'm just kinda watching it all waltz by in front of me. What's up with that?

I watched Insomnia and Donnie Darko this weekend, and I'm pretty sure that didn't help at all. Both great films, but they themselves have certain elements of surrealism that I find to have a rather intense effect on my brain. My mind feels like putty. Easily warped and shaped, but has problems keeping its own form for a while.

Following a prompting from El Franko, I went for a drive. I went... North, and a lil' bit west, and more north again. I followed some quiet highways right down the middle of some farmland. I could go for five or six minutes without passing another single soul on the road. It was nice - I had a grin on my face the whole time. I didn't look at the clock at all. Well, I did, but what I saw had zero bearing on anything. It's 2:45. So what? So I kept going. I just drove. And shot some pics along the way. Most of which were overexposed. I was hoping to get my new (used) camera by now, but no such luck.

But it was incredible - I'd stop and get out to do some shooting. A fencepost or field that caught me attention. It kinda sucks - when you're doing 100km/h you don't really have the opportunity to stop suddenly for that dirt road that looked promising. Anyways, I'd stop and get out. You can see for miles and miles, and the best part is that the only sound is the wind through the grass. Maybe some crickets. Even as I'm sitting here typing there's the constant tide of vehicles surging down the road and jets taking off at the airport. There's always unnatural ambient noise in the city. Always. But it's not the case in the middle of nowhere. It was rather refreshing.

Of course, the problem with doing something so unusual when you're already feeling a bit absent-minded tends to exacerbate the issue. I'll be in bed in two to three hours, and then my weekend will be over. Where did it go? Did I ever even have it in the first place?

Maybe I'm too busy waiting. I'm not thinking about today or yesterday or even tomorrow. It's gotta be school in the fall. I work to save for it, I've spent the better part of the last month figuring out laptops for it. I've spent the entirety of the last three months worrying about it.

The funny thing is that the overdrive mode I put myself into for school still has a bit of a hold on me. I have lists of movies to watch and books to read. I get through them as fast as I can. I get some enjoyment out of them along the way, but I'm always concerned with getting them done. Bang, bang, bang. I just recently unlocked all the weapons in Bad Company 2. Great! So I pick up Team Fortress 2 for the first time in a long time, and over the course of a week I earn all of the unlocks for the Soldier, Demo, and Engineer. The Wrangler for the Engineer was the last item. I got a lucky kill when netted me two achievements and the unlock. I kid you not, I play for all of 5 more minutes (now with my new toy) before I close the program. I sit there and stare at my installed games, and hop between two or three before calling it quits for the night. It occurs to me a day or two later that I'm treating my games as work. Play and work towards x goals, and once I'm done, that's it. Close the program, move on. How bizarre and unsettling. Mostly unsettling.

IMG_0296.1

So here I am writing another post. Then I gotta call home, then make a lunch for tomorrow. Always one more thing to do. Bang, bang, bang. But I still feel like that boat. Drifting out until the line snaps tight. Float up close and bump into the dock. Never really quite knowing what's going on or having power over it.
-Cril

Philip Glass - Morning Passages

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fresh Fruit - An Afterword

I just have a few other tidbits that have come to mind since that last post that I want to get off my chest before I bury the hatchet and speak of it no more. First though, it might be worth mentioning that I penned 3100 words, which took me just over an hour. It was going to be three hours, until I discovered that I somehow managed to put my system time ahead by 120minutes. Go figure. Anyways, I think 3100 words is longer than any assignments I've done in the past year. But that's more of a statement about the sad state of affairs for the ACAD liberal studies. But anyways, on with the show.
  • I now have exactly two less reasons to knock Macs. The first being Steam, the second being StarCraft 2. I consider myself a bit of a gamer, and it'd seem kinda stupid to go with a system that wouldn't allow me to play my favourite titles. With Steam (and Valve games in particular) available, I can't really argue that point any more. Mind you, considering it's stupid easy to install Windows on a Mac anyways may void my entire thesis for this one.
  • Second, which should have been included as a disclaimer, I'm incredibly biased in favour of Windows. It may have something to do with the fact that I've used it as my primary OS since 3.1. I've probably been using it since I've been six or seven. That isn't to say I'm ignorantly oblivious to its faults - even right now I can't get my tablet to work at all. Which is a shame, because I was looking forward to drawing Vader's helmet tonight.
  • Steve Jobs just rubs me the wrong way. I can't say why. I know it's popular to knock Bill Gates, but the man is lovable geek. Watch him in interviews - you can tell he's a total nerd that still kinda uncomfortable with public speaking and attention. Jobs, on the other hand... Strikes me as a slimey and arrogant car salesman. He's wildly intelligent, I'll give him that. But I don't like him.
  • I'm done with iPods. Once my Touch finally bites the biscuit (is that even a saying?), I'm going to get... I have no idea, actually. But I want it to sync with SongBird, which is a great iTunes replacement. Sure, I'd love some basic apps and web support, but I'll be okay with just a video/music player. I seldom use the other features anyways. It's a bummer, though, that you can't really find another competitively-priced PDA that isn't a smarthphone with hella expensive data plan. I miss Palm.
  • I just want to say one more time that Apple makes great stuff. The iPod Touch's interface and design is so sleek and sexy and intuitive. Macs are built well and are equally well engineered. It's just the company itself I have issues with. Their marketing, their pricing, their policies... They really turn me off. You can argue whether or not this iPhone 4 antenna thing is a real issue or not, but you kinda have to agree that Apple could've done a better job handling it. Telling consumers that no, in fact you don't have any problem at all, and deleting forum threads discussing the issue doesn't quite seem as classy as what they sell. Reminds me of Toyota. Make good quality stuff, but it's kinda overshadowed by some rather sleazy business practices.
Sketch45

So there we go, it's all off my chest. Now that you've been so thoroughly subjected to my long winded views on the matter I will mention it no more. Unless they do something really really dumb.
-Cril

Oliver Jones - Green Dolphin Street

Sunday, July 11, 2010

How do YOU like dem Apples?

So, Macs. It's something I've been mulling over for, well, more than a year now. When I went to the intro seminar for ACAD, they mentioned that laptops were mandatory, and that a Mac is pretty heavily recommended. A friend that accompanied me at the time told me that I'd end up getting a Mac, even though I wasn't particularly fond of them. I told her no thanks, but deep down there was a seed of doubt. I mean, there's no denying that Apple makes well engineered products, both in hardware and software. So I mulled it over while I did my first year of studies, and noted that 90% of the notebooks used were indeed Apple products. I've been building up lists of pros and cons in my head, rehearsing how I can articulate my thoughts in a clear manner. Let's give it a (long-winded) go, shall we?

My first Apple product was a 4GB iPod Mini - my first ever MP3 player. I fell in love with it - the touch wheel was fantastic, iTunes was intuitive, it was small, and let me carry around way more music than my CD Mp3 player I had been using. I paid $249 for it, if I recall correctly. I loved it, it went everywhere with me, and I can say without a doubt it's what got me through the last year of highschool. Then about eight months after I'd bought it, the batter died. Good thing it was covered by warranty - I got it replaced in quick fashion (kudos to Apple's support division). The few days in between sending out the old and receiving the new was occupied with a painfully clunky 512MB SanDisk player. But I got the new one. Woo! Six months later, the battery was fried. Because the warranty of the original iPod was long run out and the replacement (a refurb) was only covered for one month, I had to get this one fixed DIY style. $40 later, I had a new battery and replaced it. I mangled the case a bit, and aside from looking a bit nasty I had to use some masking tape to keep the top panel on. But it worked. Seven or so months later, the battery was starting to go again.

But hark! What's this? The iPod Touch, a device of pristine sexiness. Look at the slim factor, amazing +20hr of battery life, internet/browser connectivity and that big and wonderful touch screen! You can't take it apart to replace the battery, but surely that issue has been resolved by now! It's kinda stupid that all I get in terms functionality is web, music, and videos, but that should be okay. They have those stupid lil' web apps that should keep me occupied in a pinch. Besides, with a device like that it must be a matter of time until proper OS-based apps arrive, right? Basically, I desperately wanted a device that melded the functionality of my Palm Zire 72 and my (rapidly expiring) iPod. So I paid ~$300 for the 8GB model and got me an iPod Touch. So sexy. The interface was brilliant. But the months rolled by, and no apps made an appearance. Apparently Apple had zero intention of bringing such a feature to the device. Well, that was stupid of me to purchase something like that without checking out the companies intentions. But it's pretty stupid of the company to have a device like that and rob it of the capability to run proper programs. What's this? There's a thing called 'jail breaking' that'll get me a bunch of cool (and free) games and utilities? But it'd void the warranty and there were stories of bricked iPods/iPhones. Then a few months down the road as jailbreaking was becoming incredibly popular, Apple delivers the AppStore. I raised my eyebrows at that one. Really, Apple? You only deliver what should be a no-brainer feature only after some hackers make it painfully obvious how valuable it is? Looking back, of course, the App Store must've been in development for some time, but still. Either way, I was elated! Horray! I'll finally get the basic programs iPhone users had (calendar, notes, calculator, maps, contacts) plus support for 3rd party apps and games, and they won't void my warranty! Where do I sign up? Oh, right here next to my credit card that'll get charged $10? Wait, what? Seriously, Apple? Especially for something so retarded obvious that 90% of early adopters were expecting?Who the hell charges for firmware updates? Especially when one of the components, the App Store, is made so that we can spend out money anyways? Wow, just wow. Palm never charged for firmware updates. I've never heard of Google, Microsoft, HP, Sony, Nintendo, Motorola or Nokia charging for firmware updates. In fact, the only other devices I can think of that charge for updates would be GPS devices. So I pirated that update. That's what I get for being an eager, early adopter. And right here is where I started to dislike Apple.

I hate their proprietary file formats for music and video. I've purchased a grand total of two albums from iTunes, and I will never do it again. iTunes has become increasingly clunky as the years roll by and my music library grows. I've grown to absolutely despise their secretive policies for application submissions, and how they continually lock out Flash from their mobile platforms so they can keep a tight reign on generating revenue from Apps. "But Flash is such a huge power drain on the battery!" SHOCKING! THIS JUST IN - USING PROGRAMS INCREASES POWER CONSUMPTION! If it wasn't about money, they'd let Adobe release a mobile version of Flash and let the performance results speak for themselves. But instead they skirt around the issue with half-answers and hide behind their incredibly secretive and one-sided application submission policy. This issue of total control and exclusivity is also kind of obvious in their aggressive stance on Google/Android and Microsoft, and their pursuit to prevent others from using (what many think to be) straight forward phone features. Funny, all this hoopla coming from a company that is "shameless about stealing good ideas".

Moving on from my rant-like state to give credit where credit is due - my iPods have been fantastic devices. My Touch is starting to die - every once in a while (I haven't figured out the rhyme or reason) it mysteriously gets quite warm and dumps 95% of its charge in about 10-15mins. It happened a few times within the 1yr warranty, but I was an idiot and thought it was an isolated incident. Now, just over two years after I got it, it's still truckin' along. The battery life is down to about 15hrs of music (what I primarily use it for), and any internet use really eats up remaining charge quickly. But again to reiterate - it's a well designed piece of technology. The interface is simple and incredibly intuitive (especially for sorting through music), and the form factor and bright display are still stunning. And the touch response and how it's implemented to browsing and interaction is brilliant.

But let's get down to the ugly topic about Apple. Let's face it folks, a large part of it is a social thing. It's the way capatalism works - whoever can hock their wares the best wins. And Apple has done a great job convincing the population that their products are, without a doubt, cool. But I can not stand their standard Mac vs PC ads. "Quick, let's advertise our products by attacking the competition using stereotypes and gross over-generalizations!" And yes, they're well done. They're funny. And they are, above all else, most definitely effective. But just because something is successful, it doesn't mean I need to like it. The buy American campaign has done a great job at keeping consumers coming back for years to buy cars from the big three North American manufacturers, even though their leadership is messed up, the products incredibly mediocre, and the Civic across the road was made by just as much by Americans in Ohio as that Chevrolet was made by Americans in Detroit. Perhaps it isn't the best analogy, but it gets the point across. Something effective isn't necessarily the most honourable way of doing business. But that's capitalism, and I recognize that. This is a personal, point-of-view issue, and ad firms working for Apple get paid well because they do a good job.

But back to that social thing. Okay, let me put it this way. Apple does the same thing in their advertisements against PC users, so I'm going to use that as an excuse to stereotype Apple users. This laser year at school has absolutely confirmed every negative notion assiciated with the ideas of the average, hip Mac owner. Thinks of themselves as fairly artistic and creative. Not very technically savvy. Thick-rimmed glasses. A love for expensive, freshly brewed caffeinated beverages with fancy names. You think I'm joking. Okay, cut out the 'artistic and creative' bit (you'll tend to find that at an art school). I can say about 80% of the Mac users at school drink expensive coffee and/or wear designer fashions, especially glasses (Mind you, going by that logic, if your eyesight has not decayed enough to warrant corrective lenses, you are more likely to drink coffee). I thought I'd give it a fair shot, so when I started school I talked to people I ran across using Macs and asked them why. They'd pretty much just paraphrase the PC vs Mac stories. I hate to break it to you, but I honestly can't recall the last time I've downloaded a virus. You see, I've used the internet more than twice and know that the "Free Smiley Pack" and "You are the 100,000th Visitor!" banners are going to give you a bit more than you bargained for. And that German website advertising FrEe GaMeS aNd WaRez with porn links in the sidebar? It may not be reputable. But in Windows nothing works and everything that does breaks easily! Uhm, no it doesn't. In fact, I just installed Windows 7 last week and was blown away at how streamlines and simple and stable things have been so far. But I won't gloss over it - sure, a Windows machine can take a bit of extra love once in a while to keep the gears turning. But I appreciate the fact that I know how to poke through a config file in Notepad and secretly enjoy getting up to my shoulders in a computer case. I think I have a better understanding of technology for it. But saying that this is an advantage over a Mac would be like saying you should buy a Volkswagon because you'll learn to be a great mechanic with all the time you'll end up spending under the hood.

Sketch278

But I'd tell those same people I asked about why they got a Mac about why I was hesitant about getting one, and their eyes kind of glaze over. Then they make some remark about how Microsoft copied everything good in Windows straight from the Mac. Which, as we know, is something Apple would never ever do. But not to oversimplify things to much, there are, of course, exceptions to the rule. My roomate is an exceptionally intellectual and technologically-savvy fellow, and his go-to machine is a Macbook Pro. My best Miami Pal Ever who writes technical/computer documentation also swears by Apple products, and used his shiny new iPhone 4 to record his son's birth.

I'm not saying this is universally true, I just think many people have Macs and people want Macs because they're cool. There's is definitely merit to the points of engineering and usability, but as a whole that's not what's moving product off shelves. I talked to many people at school not involved with software/computer-based programs (jewelry, painting, sculpture, etc) who use their Mac for taking notes and browsing Facebook. Wow, you consciously paid for a premium product to do tasks that absolutely every single netbook on the market can do just as well. Ok, fine, whatever - people have the right to get whatever they want with their money. I even bought Moby's Hotel dual-album. But as far as buying a computer because it's cool... I'm not a cool guy, I never have been, and I probably never will be. I take a certain amount of pride in being slightly off-kilter and antisocial. I guess you could say it's a desire to be different, which is exactly the reason many Apple owners buy what they do. So instead I side with the likes of Google or Microsoft, which almost everyone and their dog uses. I like to tell myself I have good reasons for choosing the way I do. But it really makes me wonder - if I was in a setting where Macs were not the norm, would I be more likely to get one?

But, ok. Let's take all this over-analyzation and incredible bias and put it aside. I like to think that I can be somewhat reasonable from time to time, and can take a look at the facts with an open perspective. I need a laptop for the next three years of school. The requirements say 2.54GHz processor and 4GB of RAM minimum. My personal requirement is that it needs at least 1000 vertical pixels. And I should get something reasonably portable with three years of extended warranty to see me through the end of my schooling.

My brother recommended to me the Lenovo ThinkPads, which are pretty decent, buisiness-quality laptops extensively used in the company where he works in IT. Ok, the T510 with discrete graphics and full HD screen looks like it'll fit the bill. It's only a 15.6" display so it'll have a pretty dense DPI, but I'm alright with that for the smaller form factor. I want it to last me, so I'm alright with spending a bit more on the specs to make a bit more powerful. We'll go with the 2.66GHz i7 processor, 4GB of RAM, 7200RPM 320GB HD, and (because my bro insists it's cool) I'll get the fingerprint scanner. Grand total is $2318. Thinkpad is one of those stupid stores that has a constant SALE! discounts to make you more likely to purchase, which knocks the price down to $1923. They like to offer other sales in addition to these, using any excuse they can find (Father's Day! Canada Day! 72 Hour Employee's Discount!), and a current sale knocks off another 25%. The grand total, if I order before July 12th, is $1524.50.

The school guidelines suggest a Macbook Pro. Ok, the only model with 1000px vertical is the 17", so let's take a look. Full disclosure - the 17" Pro has a 500GB HD and 1200px display as standard, so that means I'll be getting 180GB and 120px extra than the T510. It also has a funky magnetic power cord thingy and a webcam (WOOOOOWWWWW!) Configured the same with similar warranty, it comes to (wait for it)... $2848. "But Chris, what about the Educational discount?!". That knocks it down to $2617. "But you get a free 8GB iPod Touch (that won't require a paid-for firmware update... probably)!" Assuming I could sell it for full retail value, my net expense is $2398.

Which is a far cry from $1524.50. By $873.50. Even if you were to scratch Lenovo's Stupid Constant Marketing Sale and their Any Excuse for a Sale Sale, the Macbook Pro is still $80 more. Which, considering the extra 180GM/120px/webcam/powercord, is quite reasonable. The matte/non-glare screen, offered on the Mac but not Thinkpad, would probably even be worth the extra $47. But, my friends, these are not the circumstances. As far as I know, Macs seldom go on sale as is, and I'd be VERY hard pressed to find a sale that gets me more than $450 off (what I'm saving with the education discount and iPod Touch). Since I've started investigating the Thinkpads about a month and a bit ago, they've always had the Stupid Marketing sale and gone through at least three other 25% off or more sales.

To give you a really simple idea of what's going on here, let's look at one component - the processor. The heart, the brain, the center. The Macbook Pro and Thinkpad both come with the 2.53GHz Intel Core i5 as standard. And both have the option to upgrade to the same 2.66GHz i7. It costs $70 to add it to the Thinkpad. And how much for the Macbook (wait for it again)... $189. That's WITH the educational discount, by the way. It'd be $200 without. That's more than twice as much for the same. Friggin'. Part. As it turns out, you hear a lot about that "Apple Tax" thing for a reason.

I've taken a quick peak at the 15" models, official refurbs and buying a used Pro out of the classifieds, all of which are still slightly more expensive than a brand-new ThinkPad. I honestly, hand-on-heart, went into this with an open mind. I'm an incredibly dollar-oriented guy, and if the Mac was cheaper I would have thrown away my other reservations and gone for it. But I'm sorry, taking into account the Apple discounts and even discarding Lenovo's, it was a stupidly large difference. Add in the full sales, and Apple has gone FULL RETARD. $870 is a lot of money for, essentially, the same thing. It's more than 50% of the T510's value. With that money I can buy the entire Adobe CS5 Master Suite from school. Or I can save it, and it'll put me that much closer to a Porsche.

You see, it's that kind of a gap that makes me wonder why Macs sell as well as they do for as much as they do. It kind brings that 'cool' thing back into play, and the technologically clueless stereotype. I'm not saying it applies to everyone. I know people who know exactly what they're buying and for what reasons. $870. It's kind of boggling.

My only reservation is that, being a Mac-centric school, I'll need have OSX for specific assignments or criteria. There's an "Intro to Digital Technology" course, even. Which should be worth a laugh. But what if I actually, earnestly need a Mac? I even emailed the department head and got a rather vague response. Well, it's best to be prepared. I think it'll take a bit of elbow grease, but I'll take the same approach as I did with the $10 iPod Touch firmware. 'Cause I ain't payin' that.
-Cril

I've never been frightened of being enlightened
But some things can go too far
Though sometimes I stammer and mix up my grammar
You get what my meanings are

These apples are delicious
As a matter of fact they are, she said
Can all this fruit be free?

Barenaked Ladies - These Apples

Monday, July 05, 2010

A Small Town in Between

Nestled between a major freeway and lakeside tourist attraction is a small town. It is cut down
the middle by a smaller, secondary highway, which is lined with a variety of buildings. The sidewalk that follows the road is comprised of a mesmerizing pattern of bricks, with planters of neglected trees and shrubs along the way. The side streets are narrow and cracked, but there is always just enough room for cars to park on either side of the road while permitting tight, two-way traffic to flow.

If any of the drivers took the opportunity to look around while passing through, they might
discover a small German deli with impeccable Schnitzel burgers. This is quite a hit with the youth of the area, who swarm in from the humble school across the road during the lunch hour. Off to the side there's a simple municipal museum run out of an train car. Volunteers dutifully open and close the operation each weekday, though the patronage is lacking at best. Further down the road sits a small mini mart selling the oddest assortment of brand-name goods at inflated prices. The posters in the windows are all faded, and the bright green stripe running the entire length of the structure is chipped and weather stained. No one is quite sure how this meager operation stays afloat, but someone is always willing to pay for a close convenience.

Across the road is a small park, with a playground of twisted, contorted metal only appealing to
the children with enough imagination to see it as something else. The bars are red and grimy from the rust and rain, and if you're not careful there's a good chance you'll get a sliver from one of the few remaining flecks of paint. Swallowed in the grass near by lays a lonely bench alongside a checkerboard of stone. The large, 2-foot-tall chess pieces had long since been vandalized and stolen. Competitive matches in the summer afternoon remain a memory of the people who were old enough to recall when the town still held its annual parade.

At the end of this stretch of street lays the climax of the experience for passers-through – a
single stop light. To the left leads into a silent residential area, ahead a restaurant that perpetually changes ownership and branding, and to the right the highway continues on to something of the more enticing scenery. The light has a protected right-hand arrow for turning, which strikes the locals asrather odd.