BNL and the end thereof

Well, crap.

If I were the kind of person to swear a blue streak until your ears bled from the sheer amount of profanity... This would be the time to do it.

You see, the Barenaked Ladies are were a corner stone of my taste in music. They were one of the bands first bands I discovered and latched onto not because they were necessarily popular or they catered to my current mindset or I was used to my parents listening to them. I downloaded a handful of their songs out of curiosity, then downloaded a few more, bought some albums, and eventually tickets. I just listened and thought "Whoa, I like this!" and kept on devouring more of their material.

There are so many parts of the band that make up one big lovable whole. They're fabulous writers - not only for the melodies themselves, but especially the lyrics. I've always found them to be quirky and unique and (for some songs more than others) rather insightful. As musicians, their ensemble was unique. The standard guitars and drums, plus keys and a stand-up base. And the fact that they were all so flexible and could switch between rock to bluegrass or just acoustic. Even though their voices probably aren't particularly noteworthy, as a group they can perform great harmonies. Even for solo vocals they had that certain charm of being normal guys, you know? It's such a relief from your average drudge of Alternative/Pop singers that are a dime a dozen.

Outside of performing music they were just an incredible presence on their own. Sure the charity work and such were great, but I loved their stance on file-sharing and how the industry should work. Case in point, see the 3:00 mark:



They're different, they're quirky, they're talented musicians and songwriters... And they're just so good at all of that. I enjoy their music and respect them for what they are.

Mind you, this is no doubt nothing new. I'm sure a million bands have called it quits and crushed even millions more fans. I can't imagine what the world went through when the Beatles broke apart or Buddy Holly died. I just find it to be a bit of a rough blow - these guys really shaped what my taste in music. Hell, even the title for this blog is a BNL lyric.


A few years back I went to see them in concert. The experience blew my mind, and I really enjoyed the evening. I would have gone to see them again in a heartbeat. But now? That's a bit of a tougher call.
-Cril

The moon is full but there is an incompleteness
The days are beautiful but I feel a bitter sweetness
If I had a wish, or even a choice
I'd wake up to the sound of your voice
How I miss waking up to the sound of your voice

I let you down and fell right off of your good list
I hope each day you'll find peace and forgiveness
The alarm clock rings, What a lonely noise
And I long for the sound of your voice
Oh, how I miss waking up to the sound of your voice

Barenaked Ladies - Sound of Your Voice

Can’t wait to taste them isotopes!

You know how every once and a while you look at yourself at work and wonder... What the hell am I doing? Am I really capable of doing this, and doing it well and efficiently? Y'know, the standard insecurities and doubts shtick. Well, I found out today that maybe I wasn't so bad off. We received an order from one of our suppliers in Taiwan today, and inside were three copies of their basic catalogue. It was a simple, 11x17 flyer folded in half. There was some bad Photoshop effects, poor images, and general lack-luster design. But that wasn't the worst of it. Oh no - that prize goes to the misspelled URL on the cover. At the top AND bottom. Due to the two totally different errors. At the top it read "www.company.com", while it was supposed to be "www.company.com.tw". Someone went through with a blue ballpoint pen and added the ".tw" with a little carrot. At the bottom, it read "www.company.copm.tw". Again in that plain ol' blue pen, ".copm.tw" was crossed out and corrected with ".com.tw". These changes were made to every. Single. Flyer. Wowza, that had got to suck. Not only for the person who made the mistake, but for the poor soul who had to manually correct every piece. And if they were the same person? Well, that must've been a bunch of really crappy days.

Don't get me wrong - I'm far from some kind of authority on design and I don't claim to truly push the boundaries and excel in my profession. But it's nice to know that I wasn't the one to mess up something that obvious twice. This time, at least.



Battlestar Galactica was kinda mediocre this week. It was a bit of a Cylon soap opera. Mind you, I can't necessarily blame them - how could you possibly live up to the last few episodes that have been an absolute roller coaster ride? It may be getting near the end, but I suppose it covered significant ground and provided a rest from the action. What the heck does Baltar plan to do with all those guns though?

I was going to write about something else here, but I started and it rapidly unwound like a ball of yarn. The kitten in my mind is still toying with it, and it looks like it'll take a while to get untangled. I saved it as a draft, so hopefully I'll get back to it this week.

That is, if the new TF2 update doesn't swallow me whole. I cannot wait, the new unlockable sound like SO much fun. And the Force-A-Nature's page made me laugh - I really hope they release it as a poster. Then I'll have to figure out a way of getting something shipped to a US address before coming here - the Valve store only sends orders to Canada by FedEx. Hooray $30 shipping, plus a crappy currency conversion. The have so much stuff I could blow my money on though...

Speaking of TF2, I just finished playing an evening of it with my bro. We had a really good time. Nothing special happened until I switched to Medic - then we REALLY hit our stride. The two of us consistently got in the top three players of each round. At one point we were playing Sudden Death, and everyone on our team had died off except two Engineers and three Medics. This is not a winning combination for assaulting the final capture point, there were no offensive weapons between us. But the clock was ticking, so we went for it and rushed the remaining Engineer and Soldier on the other team. AND WE WON! Medics ubered the Engineers, who rushed and wrenched the hell out of the enemy sentry. Before we knew it, we were all on the point and keeping the Soldier at bay while we completed the cap. It was INCREDIBLE. Support classes FTW!

Anyways, it's once again past my bed time. Adios all.
-Cril

I'll keep working my way back to you, babe
With a burning love inside
Yeah, I'm working my way back to you, babe
And the happiness that died

I let it get away
Do-do, do-da, do
(Been paying every day)
Do-do, do-da, do

Four Tops - Working My Way Back to You

Whitecaps and the Northwind

I had I strange dream the other night. Among robbing a convenience store with my family backing me up TF2-style and various other nonsensical escapades, I met an old childhood friend of mine, J. I haven't seen or talked to her in maybe fifteen years.

I used to live in a small fishing village on the Pacific, way up in northern BC. I could literally see Alaska from our living room window. The rain forest was my back yard, the ocean was my front, and there was not a paved road or sidewalk to be found inbetween. There was a massive tree in front of our house where bald eagles would just sit and hang out. They watch you go about your business inside, as if they're just waiting for you to step outside. If you keep looking ahead beyond the birds you'd unavoidably lock gazes with the Pacific. It was right there. Boom. Some islands dot the horizon and, if you're lucky, you can catch the odd glimpse of a pod of killer whales. In the winter you barely get four hours of light during the day and during the summer you need to wait for 11PM before the sun starts setting. To get in or out of the town you have two luxurious options: A two-hour boat ride that bounces you from wave to wave, or a 40-minute float plane ride that bounces you from turbulence to turbulence before touching down and bouncing from wave to wave.

But I digress.

There were three houses up on a hill, and they were generally given to the school and health clinic workers. Being that most of these people came from other parts of the province, our little hill contained the majority of the white/Caucasian population of the village. But my friend, J, was native. We were in the same grade for the three/four years I attended school there. And towards the end, she was the only friend there. It's funny how that worked out - I still remember the day where I went to school and discovered that my "friends" would no longer have anything to do with me. When asked why, they responded, and I quote, "Because you're a white man". Mind you, this was only in grade two or three and so it wasn't the end of the world. I still got along fine for class activities, but when recess rolled around there wasn't much to do. It certainly makes you wonder, though, how this thought magically got into their heads when we weren't even eight years old. But that whole cultural divide is a much bigger fish to fry, so I won't bother.

The point is that J and I spent countless hours mucking around the woods and occupying ourselves. Birthday parties, school assignments, all that jazz that small kids like to have best buddies for. About a year or so before we moved away ourselves, J had likewise left. I haven't seen her since... I had one conversation with her over the phone, shortly after we moved.

Not to sound harsh, but no one with a lot of aspirations stayed there for long. There wasn't any local high school to graduate from, there were 2-3 convenience stores or shops, and a canning facility with loads of fishing boats to match. If you wanted to do something that didn't involve fish you were pretty much out of luck.

I don't know why she showed up in my dream. I get the impression that her appearance there was how she should look now, as an adult. There was an atmosphere of comfort around her for some reason. Something to do with the small and secure vision of the world from a seven year-old's point of view, perhaps.

The dream prompted me to look her up. "Right!" I say to myself, "This is what all this Facebook shenanigans is supposed to be about!" So I logged in for the first time in... months... and did a search. To no avail, of course. Google was equally unhelpful, but that didn't surprise me. Maybe it's one more reason for me to finally turf my social networking accounts, like Facebook. Social networking sites... Are likewise a very large and stinky fish to fry, which I will refrain from getting into here.

But it got me to thinking, what would I say? "HI! You might not remember me, but we used to know each other fifteen years ago and you were in my dream the other night. How are things?" Part of you wants to pick up where you left off, and part of you knows that there's nothing left of what once was. I'm just completely baffled that someone I haven't even thought about in so long decides to pop up into my mind. Certainly makes you wonder about the significance of dreams. Is it just your brain back-firing and trying to process a garglemesh of odd informations, or is it some unconscious level of your mind trying to make something obvious?

One thing is for sure... I need to go back to that village some day. I really miss it, for all those reasons that are hard to articulate. I went to my grandparent's anniversary a few summers ago, and while the two locations are still 200KM apart... The climate sent shivers up my spine. The mountains, the vegetation, the air all felt so vaguely familiar and enticing. I'd be undoubtedly neat to take a few days off this summer, fly up, and backpack around the area. But where would you stay in a village without a hotel? Where would you go once you get there? Can you even find a place to go to for lunch?

This past week I've been searching the depths of the interwebs and digging up whatever pictures I can find of the place. I've forgotten how incredibly... Expansive the west cost is. The ocean keeps going in one direction and the mountains keep going in another.

Looks like I can get a plane ticket for $380 that'd get me to a surrounding town via a stop in Vancouver. It'd be about 4hrs of traveling, including a layover. Then I'd need to find a floatplane to take me the rest of the way. But it'd all be early in the morning, and I bet the flight would be spectacular. I'd need to get a camera and a big backpack. Hmph, something to ponder. I bet I'd get a bunch of funny looks walking around the place if I ever got there. I doubt they have any kind of tourism anything. But that's okay, I wouldn't be walking around a locations so much as an old box of memories.
-Cril

Oh, there's nothing like an ocean
Catch your breath with every wave come crashing in
Oh, got mixed emotions
Sure feels good to ride along that western wind
Hope it brings me back again
There's nothing like an ocean

Rankin Family - Nothing Like an Ocean

An open letter to Codemasters - the reply

Thank you for submitting your recent request to Codemasters Customer Services concerning Grid.

We still plan to release the 8 ball pack for PC, but do not have an exact release date at the current time, unfortunately.

Keep up to date with any further announcements on our website - www.codemasters.com

Kind regards
Rob
Codemasters Customer Services

Ah, don'tcha just love those mundane, canned responses? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed...
-Cril

An open letter to Codemasters

Dear the Fine Folks at Codemasters,

It was many moons ago that I was extremely bored and felt a need for a racing game. So I downloaded the GRID demo and was immediately hooked. I bought the game on Steam that very same day and have since played it for way more hours than is probably healthy. I never expected to find an all-time favourite IP/franchise in a racing sim, but there it was. I had no idea how crappy games like the Need for Speed series actually are. I love Grid. It's excellent. The problem, though, is that I have an unquenchable thirst for more... And there hasn't been any word on when the 8-Ball expansion will coming to the PC. It arrived on consoles a while ago... Why don't we PC gamers get any love? Has it been cancelled for the platform? Do you just not care any more? We had something special. Where did that go? Was it something I did? Something I said? Just give me another chance baby, you know I'm not like that!

I will most definitely be keeping my eyes on DIRT 2 - I don't generally enjoy rally/offroad racing, but if it's being done by the same people on the same engine I'm already sold. Yet it still doesn't change the fact that I would truly cherish some more content for GRID. Common, I'll be your best friend forever. I promise.
-Cril

Drive In, Drive Out

Well, it's way past my bedtime. But considering the last few nights I've spent the first ~3hrs of my time in bed by staring at the ceiling and watching my mind run itself in circles... Staying up a wee bit late probably won't hurt too much.

I downloaded the Dave Matthews discography a few months ago. I listened to all of the studio albums, and while there certainly were a handful of excellent tracks, as a whole nothing really grabbed me. And just these past two weeks, I was looking for something new to listen to so I figured I'd try the live releases. Wowza. So far I've gone through The Gorge and The Central Park Concert, and I am really enjoying it. It drags in parts where they're more/less just jamming, but most of it is really good. Songs that I didn't give a second's notice to from the studio recording have me completely hooked. I really need to see these guys if they ever come through town and do a concert. I am SOLD.

I could go through many a paragraph detailing the little parts that really nab me. The desperate and seemingly mad vocals for Don't Drink the Water are so irresistible. The crowd singing the 'Hani Hani, come dance for me' chorus over Everyday. Right now it's the bridge by the blasting baritone sax at 2:00 marker in Two Step. Man, I miss playing the bari. Such a deep and rich tone.

Anyways, a few other tidbits... Battlestar Galactica is keeping up some brutal pacing. The story is moving right along, and uncovering answers to many questions. Mind you, it's raising some new ones at the same time... Still not as bad as Lost though - I'm not even bothering with that one any more. Either way, only a few more weeks of BSG before the 3hr finale. CANNOT WAIT.

I started watching Torchwood. I'm only one episode in, and you can see the telltale signs of a BBC show. A peculiar cast (have you SEEN the gap in the main characters front teeth? You could drive a whole 'nother series through there!), an obviously less-than-Hollywood sized budget for CGI, and copious amounts of props and makeup to similate alien objects. The first episode didn't totally captivate me, but I can see that it has potential. I've downloaded the entire first season, so I might as well give it a go.

I bought Assassin's Creed on Steam during their holiday sales. I'd pirated it the first time around and played it through. Despite the numerous glitches, lack of what would be average features and obvious interface issues that remind me of GTAIV (EIGHT steps to exit the game? Really? Do you guys even play your games before shipping them?)... The gameplay itself is pretty good. It's exciting, a bit repetitive, but ultimately is a unique concept presented in a less-explored atmophere/time period. I'm eagerly awaiting a sequel. But yeah, back to the point - I just downloaded/installed my purchased Steam copy. It'll be a fun game to pick up and play in small chunks here and there while I wait for the Scout Update. Which will no doubt be totally awesome.



A new page of Sparks is up, and posted by yours truly. I think it's our best yet. But considering it's only the fourth page... That may or may not be saying much.

One last note - Valentine's Day won. It had the last laugh. I thought I was past it all and didn't need to worry for elevenish more months. But no, when I went back to work on Tuesday (a whole three days later) and fired up my iPod... Lo and behold, there was a fresh This American Life episode themed on Valentine's Day and people finding that special someone. Sigh...

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and not get some sleep. 'Good' night every-peoples.
-Cril

I can't believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering if we had spent our living days well
I can't believe that we would lie in graves
Wondering what we might of been

Dave Matthews Band - Lie in Our Graves

Art is my Anti-Valentine

Well, it's that day again. I've written about it before, but because it happens every year it tends to resurface on you regardless of the amount of loathsome words that are put down. Every time it rolls it's never the same. Some years end up being more tolderable than others. Sometimes it's fun to use it as an excuse to be cynical and express a plethora of contempt unto the world. Other years you can't really bring yourself to acknowledge it at all - it's like Santa or the Easter Bunny. "If I don't believe," you tell yourself, "then it doesn't exist any more!" But it rears its ugly head again three-hundred and sixty-five days down the line, and you get to choose how you'll face it again. Perhaps you'll wear cynicism like that odd hat in the closet, or wrap yourself up in a thick and dusty winter jacket of depression.

This time around I'm trying a different approach. I really... Envy all the artists out there who can take a theme and turn it into something visibly disturbing or creepy. They make pieces that you just can't tear your gaze away from, like that horrible car accident you drive past on the way to work in the morning. As you putter around my sketch galleries you'll notice that it's all relatively tame and boring stuff. Objects, landscapes, etc. A general lack of style or meaning. So this February I wanted to make an honest effort to take a sense of restless discomfort and make something... Creepy. I gave myself the opportunity to indulge in a darker and morbid train of thought, and use it to make something strange. And so I have. If all goes according to plan, you'll feel something. The tiniest tinge of a shiver? A mild repulsion? Who knows. If you find yourself coming back because you need just one more quick glance, and it makes your train of thought feel like it's grinding gears... Then mission accomplished.





Of course, all this is rather tame compared to what real artists are capable of, but it's something I wanted to try doing. I had a theme and some motivation... So why not?

Like I said, each year Valentine's Day is different. Some are better, some are worse, and this 14th is definitely not one of the more tolerable ones. You'd figure that after twenty-two consecutive years it'd be old hat by now. But it isn't.
-Cril

Here's the hitch - our horse is leaving
Don't miss your boat - it's leaving now
And as you go I will spread my wings
Yes I will call this home

Well I have no time to justify to you
Fool you're blind, move aside for me

All I can say to you my new neighbor
Is you must move on or I will bury you

Now as I rest my feet by this fire
Those hands once warmed here
Well I have retired them
I can breathe my own air
And I can sleep more soundly
Upon these poor souls
I'll build heaven and call it home
'Cause you're all dead now

And I live with my justice
And I live with my greedy need
And I live with no mercy
And I live with my frenzied feeding
And I live with my hatred
And I live with my jealousy
And I live with the notion
That I don't need anyone but me

Don't drink the water
Don't drink the water
There's blood in the water
Don't drink the water

Don't drink the water
Don't drink the water
There's blood in the water
Don't drink the water

Dave Matthews Band - Don't Drink the Water (Live)

Pineapple Strawberry Milkshakes

A long time ago when I was in the earlier years of high school (Grade 7 or 8, I think), I was having issues with my skin. I was taking some homeopathy treatments - and what generally happens after one treatment (in theory) is that you take whatever concoction that the specialist gives you, after which symptoms of the original problem get dramatically worse, after which they clear up and you're in better shape than before a treatment. In theory. I guess I'd gone for three or four treatments. I don't really recall if there was any significant improvements, but surely enough I'd go way downhill before rebounding a bit.

After what would be my last treatment, though, things went to hell. I basically came down with a staph infection. Now for those fortunate enough to have never had experience with one of these, it basically meant that everything everywhere breaks out into nasty infected grossness that you feel like utter garbage. But hey, things were supposed to get worse for a while, right? It turned out that instead of a few weeks, this time it was a few months. I missed an entire term of school (I even managed to sustain a high B-average for the year), and was pretty much stuck at home. My joints and feet were so inflamed and sore that I was reduced to crawling around the house. These were not good times.

Eventually as we realized that it wasn't getting better, we went to the family doctor. He immediately prescribed some hella-beefy antibiotics, and told me that if I had waited much longer I probably would have ended up on IVs in the hospital to work the infection out of my system. And strangely enough, after regularly taking these pills three times a day for two weeks (and not getting to eat an hour before or after each dose), my skin cleared up. It was like magic - I'd been down with this infection for so long, it felt so good to have it taken away from me. Mind you, within a week of going off one medication, it started to resurface. I'd need to switch between two flavours of drugs for a few rotations before I was finally staph-free.

We never went to see that homeopathy specialist again.

Aside from the drugs, the family doctor prescribed one other thing: Light treatment. Of the UV variety, if I recall correctly. I'm still not sure what it was supposed to do for me specifically, but it perhaps had something to do with killing the germs on the surface of my skin, pulling double-duty with the anit-biotics to beat the most vicious infection I'd seen yet.

I went for one UV treatment a week. Every Monday, I think. The appointment was at 3:15, so I had to head right out of school to the Chilliwack General Hospital, a ~25 minute drive away. I'd get there, strip down to my skivvies and step into a octagonal chamber that had long light bulbs (like fluorescent tubes) running vertically. The technician/doctor there would give me treatments anywhere from ten seconds to a minute and a half. This varied on how well I'd taken the treatment the week before. You see, each time I went into that chamber it'd essentially give me a sunburn. By the time I'd head home and be on my way to karate a few hours later, I'd be visibly pink and my skin would be sensitive. Sparring and practicing grabs was not very comfortable. The judo uniform (or 'gi') wasn't especially smooth on my skin on the best of days, so Monday-night karate turned into an itchy and unsettling two hour stretch of sweat, strained appendages, and (in some cases) bruises. I miss karate, actually. I wish there was a closer Isshn Ryu dojo.

Anyways, as I continued these treatments through the winter I was easy to spot at the beginning of the week. In typical Lower Mainland fashion, the skies have been grey and cloudy for months on end, but I somehow had a sunburn every week. Get out of school, meet my mother who had the family van, head into town, and come back medium-rare.

After a few weeks sans-antibiotics, it looked like I had the mean ol' infection beat. I went for light treatments for a few more weeks before calling it quits.

A few years later when I was getting closer to my senior year of high school, I was having another rough go with my skin. While I don't think it was infection related, something in my system just wasn't right. It felt like I was always on pins and needles. Nothing was comfortable. A warm bath didn't feeling refreshing, it stung and burnt for the entire time I was in. Never mind the constant barrage from a shower. Those months were complete hell. I never got to be comfortable. Long nights, miserable mornings, and painful days. I had to give up on karate at that point.

We decided to try UV treatments again. By this time, though, I had my driver's licence. I'd make these trips alone. And just as well, my mother had begun to take over longer shifts at the regional library. So I'd slither out of school, and say hello to my mom before taking the (now older and decrepit) family van to town.

The doctor still recognized me. I recognized him, although his hairline was in retreat and what was left contained a higher percentage of greys than I remembered. He was a nice guy.

There was something about that UV chamber and the small room it was in. It smelled of... Stale. I don't really know how else to describe it, but it definitely had an odour to it. Imagine that, smelly light. I'd get dressed, say the customary "thanks, see you next week", and slowly make my way to my car. All the while emitting a fragrance of stagnant UV. Heh, maybe there's a marketing opportunity there for cologne.

Each time I'd say hello to my mom before heading out, she'd give me a few dollars so that I could get a milkshake from the DQ near the hospital. Looking back, it kinda bothers me how every time she had to scrounge around so thoroughly to make up the $3 or $4. It's hard to not think that in such rough times that perhaps the money could have been better used elsewhere.

But it wasn't. And every Monday around 3:45 I'd stroll into the DQ, doing a horrible impression of someone who wasn't in pain, and order a medium Pinapple Strawberry Milkshake. It's a small comfort I discovered with my mom, during the first times we'd gone for those appointments. On the drive home I'd suck on the straw and fight with the small chunks of fruit getting stuck in it. After a few weeks the girls at the DQ counter always knew just what I was there for.


And so it was tonight that we were at a DQ for supper when a friend asked, "What's your favourite milkshake?" I replied "Pinapple Strawberry". I didn't order one, but it didn't stop a whole carton of dusty memories from spilling onto the floor of my mind. I haven't had one of those milkshakes in a while. Something like that will always taste bittersweet.
-Cril

Calm that wicked wind
To pick you up
And carry you off eastward,
Though I did release you
For to seek a warmer sky

Should you be blown back
Know that I will always run to greet you,
Still surprised to catch you
Every time

Armed with this small butterfly net, oh
I will face the world alone
And never be lonely

So calm that wicked wind,
And if you go, you could be gone forever
I will play awhile here
By and by and by and by

Armed with this small butterfly net, oh
I will face the world alone
And never be lonely

Up and up you go
For to steal the secrets of the heavens
Will you share them with me
My bright and brilliant spy?

Should you be blown back
Know that I will always run to greet you
Still surprised to catch you
Every time
Still surprised to catch you
By and by and by and by

Bishop Allen - Butterfly Nets

The Before Supper Edition

Wow! Look at this! A post coming to you LIVE before 6PM!

I think I want to go out for a late walk tonight, so to make sure I have nothing in the way of taking a stroll and going to bed, I've already done a sketch a now I'm doing this. I'll still have to make a lunch, however.

A fairly uneventful week went by... Nothing spectacular got accomplished. Which in and of itself may be an issue - I should have gotten something done for applying to school. But I didn't, and now I'm going to try and do it over the week. Mind you, at the end of this week is Valentine's Day (boo) and then we get Monday off for Family Day (yay). So with an extra day hopefully I can do something semi-productive. In my defense, however, I did try to phone BC Med and cancel my insurance so I could switch over to the Alberta variety. But silly me, ain't no government offices open on weekends.

Okay, many years ago I desperately wanted a joystick. Very very badly. I got X-Wing Alliance, and it needed a controller (unlike TIE Fighter, which let you use the mouse). In my family, we got one of three things for our birthday. We get a gift from our parents, $40, or a birthday party. And considering we never got allowance, our birthday was perhaps the largest potential source of income we'd get for the next 365 days. I had a problem, however. You see, the joystick I wanted, the Logitech Wingman Extreme (throttle control AND A Z-AXIS!) was around the $85 mark. Factor in any potential monies from grandparents... And I was still way out of luck.

So I devised a plan. I decided to have a party, and invited about 5-7 friends. I then proceeded to specifically tell them to give me money as a present. The polite thing to do? Nope. Tactful? Not at all. But I wanted that joystick, dammit, and at $10-$20 a head I was good as gold. If I recall correctly (this was a very long time ago, when Super Smash Bros was still a new and exciting game) I bagged about $110. Score!

The following weekend I went out to downtown Vancouver with my older sister and her friend (later to be husband) to do some shopping. I did indeed get my Wingman Extreme at a Futureshop. Just for kicks we later checked out an EB Games - keep in mind, this was back when they still cared about PC Gaming. And in the corner I found a gem - Jane's World War 2 Fighters. I mean, I liked WWII aircraft anyways and I'd puttered around on Microsoft Flight Sim and Secret Weapons of the Lufftwaffe (or Luft-waffle as I called it) a few times before. But... it was $11.50. That was, like, more than 10% of my haul. I decided to go for it (and promptly forfeit the equivalent of a summer's-worth of slushies), and brought it home and stuck it on a shelf.

Where it stayed for a few months until I beat X-Wing Alliance and went "Oh yeah...". So I gave it a spin and was immediately hooked. I loved the routine of taking off, the immersion of being able to look around inside the cocpit, and the trilling dogfights. The ping ping of getting hit by oncoming fire, the long plumes of smoke from damaged craft, and the fiery blossom as a plane's altitude tried to go below 0 feet. I played that game ragged, knew all the aircraft and how to fly them.

It's a shame that game hasn't quite stood the test of time - When I load it up now I'm treated to all sorts of bizarre bugs and texture issues and input problems. I've tried a few other games here and there - Microsoft's Combat Flight Simulator lacked that level of polish and excitement, and Secret Weapons over Normandy was pure arcade trash. What's the point of a combat flight sim that doesn't let you stall? Anyways, when the Christmas/holidays sale came up on Steam, I finally decided to throw down $10 for IL-Sturmovik 1946. It too is an older game, but I've read time and again that it is the very best for the WWII combat simulator genre. I figured since it was up on Steam that it should run under modern OS environments. And surely enough it does - the supported resolutions are small and need to be directly edited in a config file to support my native display, and I needed to tweak the sound settings to that it would use both speakers at once.

It's similar to World War 2 Fighters - there's flaps, landing gear, engine settings, and a host of other features or nuances I'd become familiar with. But then it adds historically accurate bomb sites, chalk removal, torque drift, lockable tail wheels, pitch adjust, etc etc. Worst of all, where Jane's came with a large folded up card with keyboard mapping, the Steam version of Sturmovik obviously does not. I find myself going to the controls menu very frequently to figure out what I'm trying to do. The game seems to kick it up a notch it regards to accuracy and simulation. Everything is a little bit more difficult than I remember Janes treating me. But I'm slowly getting the hang of it. Although this time I'm using a gamepad rather than my trusty Wingman Extreme. My joystick is still back at home, and I'm not even sure if I have room for it here. Oh well, I'll survive one dogfight at a time...


In other news, Battlestar Galactica has absolutely ROCKED the past two weeks. I can't believe how totally exciting it is to watch. And they've killed so many characters along the way... Zarach was always a scumbag and I'm glad to see him go (I can't believe he executed the council), but I always liked Gaeta. Sure, he was a prick since he decided to do this coupe thing and I wanted to see him get smacked around a bit. Executed though? That was harsh. His last summer with Gias really touched me. He's at the end of his road and talking about his dreams... How heartbreaking. That fact that his leg stops bothering him right before the execution just twists the dagger.

I guess it kinda sucks that they hand to end the character there, he was with the show since the beginning and it's rough to see him dropped like that. That, and I kinda wish his little revolt would have worked a bit, at least to the extent that Starbuck would have gotten smacked around a bit. I never really liked her, I hope the character gets knocked down a peg before the end of the series.

Annnd, that's about it for now. I still need to make lunch for tomorrow and sync up the iPod. Oh, and a new Sparks is up.
-Cril

I stood on the floor of the Monument Valley
Sky deep with stars
And I asked "are you safe from the thieves in this country"?
I hope that you are
Sanitized souls, did you airbrush out your roles?
I can't help but ask
I used to be young with a strong constitution
Just look at me now

Every broadcast disaster just adds a new wrinkle
But that just don't fly with me
That just don't fly

The Posies - That Don't Fly

Word Association and the Next World War

I was entertaining an amusing train of thought this evening. Right now everyone's throwing around the "Recession" and "Depression" words left right and center. Being young enough that I didn't live through the slump during the 80's, all I have to go off of to relate to these words is what I was taught regarding the Great Depression. So when I go to make mental connections regarding these words, I often come to very bizarre conclusions that make things seem much worse than the actually are (or will be). Let me illustrate my point.


Figure 1. This is a Lamborghini Gallardo LP 560-4. And a very poorly drawn one at that. It has absolutely nothing to do with the point I'm trying to make. I just figured if I was going to use the phrase "illustrate my point" I'd use it as a crappy excuse to show something that was actually illustrated.

Ok, let me illustrate what I'm trying to get at. Except with words this time.

What do we associate with the 30's?

-Black and white, silent movies. OH NOES! The entertainment industry will be so poor during this recession that they won't be able to afford sound OR colour for new movies!


-Cars are rare and weak and decrepit. This obviously means most people will no longer afford to own and run an automobile, and those people who can will be stuck with pieces of junk that have rickety wheels and need to be started with a hand-crank. Oh wait, Ford/GM/Crystler are already working on this last part (ZINGAH!). Either way, say goodbye to beautiful machines of luxury and performance (see Figure 1).

-Lots and lots of radio. The internet and cable TV as we know it will degrade and become unusable. The only connection to a larger world will be what we can leech out of the airwaves. Also, the entertainment industry will continue on its path of "re-imagining" old series', so that we're once again huddled around the radio and listening to The New Howdy Doody or the Return of the Lone Ranger, in hopes we can find a brief escape from our dismal lives. A truly disturbing image.

-An old and crippled white man will be running the United States. Dick Cheney has now been removed from power, and I'm not sure where a black dude fits into any of this.

-Hobos on top of trains. Many of them. Every male between the ages of 18 to 30 will lose their job, and be forced to roam the country in search of work. Companies that fabricate the "hobo bags on a stick" will flourish, and become a thriving industry. Apple will release the chic "iBag" in an attempt to cash in. One year later, it will be called the "iBag Portable" and come with a free "iStick". The iStick itself will retail for twice that of the iBag, causing all the iHobos that bought the First Generation iBags to be "iPissed". They'll then ride the rails down to Apple HQ, singing their immortal anthem "iCan't Get No Satisfaction", where they start an iFire of large proportions. This iFire is a single production run, and will not see a product revision in traditional Apple style.

-The mass pilgrimage to partake the one-time-only iFire produces millions of hobo casualties. As modern trains travel much faster, they will litter the twisty mountain passages with the bodies of those who couldn't hang on. In the spring the corpses will thaw, producing a giant army of hobo zombies. The world reels and this unsuspecting attack on the west coast of North America, and resorts to mobilizing arms and forces to combat the new Nazi undead threat. A new World War has begun, and a new stronger economy will emerge.

-Cril

I come home last Friday, talk to the woman that I lost my job
She says don't confront me an' so I have my rent next Friday
An' next Friday come, I didn't have the rent an' out the door I went
Yes, yes!

Hmm, hmm
Yes, yes!

Come here now y'all, right 'cross the street here
Help me get this rent together
Some give me a nickel and some give me a dime

I'm tired of keepin' this movin' every night
I can't hold out much longer
Now I got this rent, now let's get together, y'all
Let's have a ball

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

John Lee Hooker - House Rent Boogie

Thirty-Seven Hundred

Is roughly the amount of words contained between both parts of my GTAIV review. I've written essays with a word cap far below that. Mind you, it's less than a third in length of the longest essay I've written, but still. I can't believe how much effort I put into it. Probably somewhere in the area of at LEAST three hours. All of this for you, my readership of 2. Neither of which are likely to spend money on the game ANYWAYS. Some days it makes me wonder why I do the things I do. All that work put into something no one's going to look twice at. Simultaneously startling and incredibly pathetic.



I'm feeling rather mellow at the moment, I don't really want to do much of anything. Which is really not that great of a concept. I need to get an application for school ready, I need to get health forms figured out, I need to move on with things. But tonight... The drive just ain't there, folks. Perhaps it's my clever way of procrastinating and putting-off decisions I really don't want to make.

So instead I'll sit here and ramble on about how much the last episode of Battlestar rocked, how I'm excited yet skeptical of both Arkham Asylum and Heroes Over Europe, how I really miss the rainy grey mornings of the Lower Mainland, and how I really can't be bothered to actually go into detail for any of these things.

And then I'll finish up with a sig and a song that may or may not be vaguely connected to the contents of the above two-hundred and seventy-four words. Two-hundred and seventy-seven if you count the title.
-Cril

Pete Fountain - Basin Street Blues

GTA 4: A Review of Sorts and Other Thoughts (Part II)

ALRIGHTY THEN. Part II, where I discuss the actual game itself, and not the sludge of primeval bloatware it's double-dipped in and the DRM sprinkles on top.

[Disclaimer: This is a hella-long post, and investment of time to read. I spent far too long writing it and it's late, so I'm going to neglect proof-reading it. My sincere apologies. Proceed at your own risk. There is an unhealthily low words-to-pictures ratio]

[Obligatory spoiler warning here]

Grand Theft Auto IV is an excellent game. The first thing I noticed (after the long, tedious, and inconvenient installation was the story. Grand Theft Auto games, in my experience, have been a good way too kill some time with unique mechanics in a massive sandbox setting. The stories have always been... A loose connection to string a certain set of missions and objectives together. Vice City was kind of a cliche rise to power, San Andreas this stereotypical look at "gangstas". GTA3, on the other hand, I rather enjoyed in a Half-Life kind of way. I rather liked the cast of characters in that one, Donald Love being my all-time favourite from the series.

GTAIV comes in strong with characters and development however. Each personality is unique and distinguishable, and it really helps you to get a better idea of why these people do what they do. I wasn't completely drawn in until a few missions in when you kill your first mob boss. Then Niko reveals he's here looking for someone who betrayed and killed his friends in a war. I AM SOLD. It just gets better after that, as poor Niko, a rather like able character, gets stepped on and neglected and abused.

I knew I was really into it when I was given the choice to kill character X or Y. X had the property and connections, but I kinda liked Y. I liked them both, to be honest. But it's not very often that you find yourself wishing that the game could present you with an alternative, because you're really not fond of either path. This happens again at the end, where you're left with the choice to get revenge or leave it be. One close character, your cousin Roman, pulls for you to leave it be. The other, your girlfriend, wants you to get revenge. No matter what, the one you listens to ends up paying for your choice. It makes a rather dark and poetic ending, that leaves you partially depressed and unfulfilled. The same happens when you find, a few missions earlier, the person who betrayed you during the war. The buildup was excellent, giving the character lots of drive and building tension. But when the moment came... It couldn't quite do the body of the work justice. Regardless, it was an excellent and atmospheric plot that kept me intrigued. I can't tell you off the top of my head what the last game to do that was.

Ok, onto game play. It hasn't changed much over the last four titles - the same 'go to X', 'shoot Y'. It gets changed up every so often by switching 'go to' with 'chase' or 'shoot' with 'collect/retrieve'. Tried and true stuff that tends to get repetitive after a while. At the same time, however, it seems like Rockstar has toned it down from being quite so over-the-top as San Andreas. There were no remote-controlled vehicles, no aircraft aside from helicopters, no rampage missions.

There wasn't any properties to buy either, which was disappointing. There's two things Niko was focused on through the game - revenge, and money. While he ended up getting the former, the latter didn't feel right. For all the emphasis there was on becoming rich, there sure wasn't a lot to do once you got there. You could only spend your money on guns, food, and clothes. And when you have +$800,000 in your wallet... It would take forever to actually use up. My favourite part from Vice City was buying the car dealership and working on it so that it spawned the good cars and gave you lots of parking spaces. If nothing else, buying places give you somewhere nearby to save. But no such luck in IV.

Although, to their credit, there is now an autosave feature. It pretty much only works after completing a mission, which spares you from the frustration of getting run-down in the street across from your save point after completing a super long and difficult mission. At the same time though, it does not spare you from the frustration of getting 95% through your mission and losing. You need to do it aaaallll over again. This especially sucks when it involves driving 5mins just to get to your waypoint, so that you can wait through the scripted sequences to figure out what the heck just happened that made you fail in the first place. It desperately needs halfway checkpoints, especially for the longer and multiple-objective missions.

Oh my, this is going to take forever at this rate. Let me quick bomb through a few points: The driving physics are wonky. I'd almost say that ALL cars have some kind of traction control that prevent you from keeping the power on after you've lost traction. For a brief period after you start to slide, the wheels just don't turn. It's really hard to effectively drift or power slide - you need a MASSIVE and fast runup so that you can afford significant deceleration before your engine kicks back in and you can make an exit. Also, the steering took a long time to get used to. It's hard to describe... Some times they're super stiff and the turning radius is rather large. I find myself having to Scandinavian-flick most cars to get them around corners. Jerk one way to loosen up the suspension, jerk the other to get the card sideways and pointed where you want to go.

The cover system, while rather hit-and-miss, makes for some really fun firefights. Blind-firing over your head looks so neat, but it's eerily effective considering you shouldn't be able to see where you're pointing. And, sometimes, the program has difficulty detecting what or where you're trying to take cover. One of those longs missions at which I failed at the end was a bank heist. After the actual hold up, firefight, and chase through the underground, it was time to go back to the surface. The plan was to take some cover and get a look at the surroundings. I figured I'd duck behind a bench in front of a raised garden area. What did my character do? He took "cover" by STANDING ON THE BENCH. Not so useful.

When you do find cover, it's odd. Because in order to fully see what's around you, you REALLY need to work the mouse. It's like it gets caught on a very narrow viewpoint, and only by giving it a good shove around does it break loose so you can see what's going on. It makes the process of going from taking cover to returning fire to be rather jarring. And, if you decide you want to return fire by throwing a grenade you're in for a real treat. Because what poor ol' Niko does is prime the granade in his hand, and when you go to release it... He drops it at his feet. Tell me, under WHAT POSSIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES WOULD DROPPING A PRIMED GRENADE AT YOUR FEET WHILE BEHIND COVER DO ANY GOOD? Ugh.

One last gameplay problem - the Friends System. Oh boy. I get that they're trying to be 'realistic' here, and that having a social network of sorts makes sense. But if you're going to do that at least be REALISTIC ABOUT IT. Jeez. Over the course of one in-game day cycle I get called by about two friends who want to hang out. I tell them 'no', because driving all the way across the city to pick them up and then all the way back to do activity X isn't that enjoyable. Then I lose reputation points. If you're going to be realistic with these things, why not be realistic? Whith only 4-6 friends, you're getting pestered all the time. I'd be way more understanding if they only called once an in-game week cycle. It'd be a lot less annoying.

That being said, however, I rather enjoyed hanging out with them on a few occasions. The dialogue generally gives way to some interesting tidbits about Niko's back story. And the bar games are an alright, albeit clunky, change of pace.

Ok, non-gameplay points. Performance, multiplayer, and interface.

When you pay +$1000 for a new computer 3.5 years after the XBox360 has been released, you figure you should be able to beat the console in spades. Or not, because the development studio (I'm looking at you, Rockstar Toronto) did the absolute bare minimum to port this magnificent game to an additional platform. I hate to rag on my fellow Canucks here, but... Common guys! Did you even TRY? I'm running a 3.3GHz Core Duo with 2.5GB of detected DDR2 RAM, and a 9600 GT with another 512MB of memory. And I am hard pressed to configure this game to get ~30FPS at 1680x1050 with the lowest of low settings. It wasn't until the recent patch that added sliders for the previously unaccessible settings that I was able to bring things down far enough to bump up the res to full size at a playable frame rate. And the game looks horrible. Jaggies, poor textures, bad visibility... As a PC gamer who shelved over the big bucks for the big performance, I feel sorely neglected and let down.

One thing I noticed was that Niko's character seemed to have less detail then other people in the world. I understand this from a performance budget issue - if you can squeeze some details out of the one thing that is going to be on screen all the time, it's a difference you'll notice throughout the game. The problem is that the details don't get raised in the cut scenes. And being the main character, he's in every single one. And seeing him next to the other characters really illustrates the issue and strips away a level of immersion. It's too bad, really.

The interface for the game isn't quite has snappy as past versions. Part of it may have to do with the necessary Games for Windows Live interface. It feels rather slow and bogged down, the layout isn't as clear as past GTAs. There's a part of the game where you can use a computer to do things on the internet. /rolls eyes. Now you'd think, playing this on a computer, this would seem fluid and natural. But it isn't - you can tell they keep it the same as the console version. It feels floaty and disconnected. And why does previewing different clothing options take so long? Why not use thumbnails? And MULTIPLAYER?

(This is going to be a great segway)

When it comes to a game's interface, it should be straight forward. You boot up, click on something like "Multiplayer", and off you go. Not here. Not here at all. To play with other people, you start up your game (by reinserting the disc into the drive because SecuROM won't detect it right away), logging into Rockstar Social Scene, and pressing the 'Play' button. THEN, you need to login to a multiplayer Games for Windows Live account, which you need a MSN/Hotmail/Microsoft address to register. Then you start a single player game. Pull up your in-game cellphone, go to "Multiplayer", and arrive at a clunky server broswer. From there, good luck finding a decent game.

Seriously guys? Does ANY of that process make sense? I don't know about you, but generally it's a three-step process: Open the game, click 'Multiplayer', join a server. But ok, I'll bite. I went through all this hoopla the other night to play with my brother. Once you get in game, you're into a treat. If you like floating cars, disappearing pedestrians, and all-around shoddy netcode... VOILA! IT'S ALL HERE FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99! IT CAN BE ALL YOURS, JUST ACT NOW!

There were some fun gameplay modes, I admit. The co-op levels were a hoot, and it was fun to just mess around in Free Play. It was pretty fun, I had a big grin on my face. It's just a shame it so frequently turned into a gramce of confusion and anger because a police car flew over the oncoming traffic and landed directly on the front of my truck. I guess where they're going, they don't need roads.

No joke, this second part of the review has taken me about TWO hours to write. THRILL as I wrap this up double-time!

The interface for Games for Windows Life in incredibly unintuitive, it took several minutes to figure out how to start a private voice chat. When we got it working, we sounded so encoded it was hard to tell what we were saying. We opened Steam up in the background and used that instead.

Around Liberty City you find misc people who send you on bizzarre little errands. Some of them are quite rewarding, as you get to help people in need and see how they change their life around.

The City really feels like it's a living entity. People fixing broken cars at the side of a road, joggers, cops stopping speeder, gang fights, garbage trucks doing their routes, a whole bunch of odds and ends that seal the atmosphere up.

The "flying rats" that replace the hidden packages are a pain. Not only are there twice as many as before, but they're in very obscure and hard to find locations. I only found 14 over the course of the single player campaign.

Liberty City is absolutely massive, the level design is very impressive. There's always something to see - from flying over at sunrise, seeing downtown lit up at night, or driving over a bridge and looking out over the water.

The amount of ingame media is staggering. TV channels, websites, and radio stations. Hours and hours of content. I almost found myself sitting there and watching a fake TV show from inside a fictitious video game. I figured I had better things to do, so I went outside and blew stuff up.

Here's some art:


Here's a sig:
-Cril

Here's a song:

Riding along in my automobile
My baby beside me at the wheel
I stole a kiss at the turn of a mile
My curiosity running wild
Crusin' and playin' the radio
With no particular place to go

Chuck Berry - No Particular Place to Go