Just Because

My top 10 collection, just because. In order-ish.

1. Singer 911
2. Morgan 3-Wheeler
3. Honda S2000
4. Honda NSX
5. Ford GT
6. Ford Boss Mustang 302 (1969)
7. Caterham Seven 620 R
8. BMW E30 / E46 M3
9. Porsche Cayman GTS
10. Datson 240Z

It's unlikely I'll ever have these cars, let alone a roof I could even put them all under. But if I ever own even one of these, and I like to hope I will, I think it's safe to say I will have won at life. Even just a little bit.
-Cril

I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,
Right in the middle of the town.
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.
There would be one long staircase just going up,
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for show.

Chaim Topol - If I Were a Rich Man

Musing the End

I was biking home when a song came on by Stevie Ray Vaughn. I thought about how he had an early death and what a shame that was. For some reason I thought he died from sudden, freak health complications (turns out he was yet another musician taken in a flying accident). Something really innocent, like the flue.

Then I realized that here I was, biking home from work in winter weather, while fighting off a cold.

Tomorrow I wake up, staring at myself, realizing I've died.

I think my immediate reaction would immense disappointment because I feel like I'm just now getting my life started, and there are lots of things I want to do. But that wouldn't last long, because I'd chuckle. Of course I'd die now, on the cusp of what I feel like is my whole life. But I've already experienced lots of it. Hell, even just looking at recent events I'd be pretty content to say I went out with a bang. Got an education. Lived in an international city. Came back, spent time with family and friends. Finally got a job. Got to find love.  And a car. And not just any car, either. Got to truly live on my own. I feel independent, in all its overwhelming and underwhelming glory.

While my body may have gone out with a whimper, I think the general trajectory of my life over the last year has qualified me for the 'bang' category.

That moment between realizing how much is yet to come and just how much has already happened is a funny place. No complaints.
-Cril

Hello there, my old friend
Not so long ago it was til the end
We played outside in the pouring rain
On our way up the road we started over again

You're living our dream oh you on top
my mind is aching,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens living life by the drop

Up and down the road in our worn down shoes
Talking about good things and singing the blues
you went your way and I stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter of time

You're living our dream oh you on top
my mind is aching,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens living life by the drop

No wasted time, we're alive today
Churning up the past, there's no easier way
Time's been between us, a means to an end
God it's good to be here walking together my friend

We're living our dreams
my mind's stopped aching,'
That's how it happened living life by the drop
That's how it happened living life by the drop
That's how it happened living life by the drop

Stevie Ray Vaughn - Life by the Drop

Never enough until you've got all the stuff

Dang, I feel kinda... Mooshy.

Over the weekend a scratchy throat turned let into a horrendous cough and leaky nose. I feel a little bit out of sorts, and just wish it was the weekend already. But I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Not a lot to report in my current state of mind. I miss my car. It's in the shop having some work done that isn't related to what it was dropped off for. I'm hoping that either the problem won't manifest itself again, or one of these alternate repairs will somehow have me covered. Part of me is gonna be afraid to drive it, knowing that the problem could pop up when I least expect it. It's like the whole thing is a time bomb waiting to fall apart around me.

But then I remember that, technically, I'm driving a classic Porsche. I get what I paid for. Or more accurately, what I didn't pay for. Fun times.

The worst part is that these repairs and having to have funds on hand in case the phantom problem pops up again will prevent me from getting a new computer in February. Unfortunate, yes, but not the end of the world.

But I've been looking forward to it more and more over the last few months. While I'm sure that it has a lot to do with the decreasing performance of my laptop, it's also the last big purchase I have on my list. Assassin's Creed Black Flag and Shadow of Mordor have both been taunting me for far too long, and I'm dying to play them.

The question arises, though; what comes next after I blow a few grand on a computer? Will my consumerist urges disappear? First I wanted a car, and then I wanted my own place, and now I want a computer. Surely something will come next. A new phone, probably. It doesn't seem super pressing right this very moment, but I'm sure once my new computer is up and running it'll become irresistibly important. Maybe I'm coming down with an addiction for new things.

I don't like the idea of that. In my head, I'm logically thinking "ah, yes, after I get the computer I won't want anything else, and I can just save my money." I'm sure there'll be lots of other things lining up to grab my attention, though.

Theoretically, I just wanted to live on my own and have a car for errands and commuting from my full time job. I'd get home in the evening, do some simple cooking, use my computer for freelancing and entertainment, and spend a part of each evening playing the mandolin.

Bam. That's it. Sounds simple enough, but maybe I'm just wired to want MORE because I spent so long making do with less. I'd like to think that being able to finally spend money without gnawing is like someone discovering how awesome heroin is for the first time. "How did I ever get by without it?!" That's a fairly crude analogy, but it feels oddly appropriate for my previously militant frugal self.

Yes, buying the car was a stupid purchase. Just because I did one irresponsible thing doesn't mean I have full license to keep doing so.

We'll see how it all unravels.
-Cril

Well you know that it's going to be alright
I think it's gonna be alright
Everything will always be alright
When we go shopping

Well you know that it's going to be alright
When we go shopping
It's always lalalalala...
Shopping spree begin
It's always lalalalala...
Everybody wins

So shutup
And never stop
Let's shop
Until we drop

Barenaked Ladies - Shopping

Cappin' off the Old Year

Twennyforteen. S'all gone.

Okay, it's been a while since I've written last (I hereby declare that statement, and various version of it, to be this blogs most-repeated sentiment), but I'm hopin' that'll change this year. I'd like to, for the first time since starting school, manage to write (on average) at least once a week. And yes, that comes with the knowledge that I'm off to a roaring start after missing last week.

With all that ramblin' out of the way, I want to get back to some actual content. 2014 is now officially over. I usually spend New Year's Eve with my Aunt and Uncle's family. On our way to do some outdoor skating this year, we decided to play some 'best/worst part of the year' in retrospect. Here are a few of my answers:

Best movie (my top 3, in order):

Interstellar (nothing short of epic and strange and wonderful)

Grand Budapest Hotel (funny, off-beat and unexpected, and a visual FEAST)

LEGO Movie (pleasant surprise. Cleverly written, fun, and absolutely gorgeous)

Best video game: Valiant Hearts. One of those shining examples of what video games as a medium are possible of, not in terms of graphics or guns or frags, but pure storytelling. It was simple but very heartfelt. Repetitive in places, but elegant. (Disclaimer for this category: I only really played two games this year, the other one being Evil Genius from 2004)

Best new possession: My 1986 Porsche 944 in Guard's Red. A little rough around the edges. Not particularly fast. But damn does it put a smile on my face. Seeing that little Porsche emblem on my keychain is wonderful. I love how mechanical everything, including the heavy thunk from closing the door. I like how low it is, and how planted it is to the ground. And those pop-up headlights... Mmm. I've wanted to be a Porsche owner for about 10 years, and even though it's a car as old as I am, it makes me feel great. I've done my best to be really good with money for a long time, and in a way this is my way of paying off all that hard work.

Biggest mistake: My 1986 Porsche 944 in Guard's Red. It was a purely emotional purchase, and since then I've put in... Far too much money. It's a mid 80's eurpean sportscar that I'm using as my daily driver. Parts are expensive and rare, and badly needed to keep this ancient contraption on the road. Stupid, stupid, stupid. There is no logical argument that can possibly made in favour of buying this thing when I could've gotten a Civic. It should come as no surprise that it broke down yesterday and is currently sitting at the shop. Just. Plain. Stupid.

But it still makes me smile.

Best part of 2014: Coming home from New York. Being around friends and family in a more peaceful setting. I feel a lot more comfortable and at ease away from the Mega City. I have a car, even (finally). It's a beautiful place to live, and I can finally exhale.

Worst part of 2014: Leaving New York. I miss the frantic richness and chaos of it all. I miss how the place was oozing with culture and there was always something going on. I feel like a failure for missing out on the big time of working for a fancy firm. Calgary is such teeny potatoes in comparison, in every way. Deep down, I worry that I'm not as interesting to people now that I've come back.

Best discovery: Beard trimmers. I can't believe it took me this long to realize there's an alternative to shaving (aside from looking like a hobo).

---

And with that, I shall sign off. Here's to an awesome 2015. It's pretty crazy; on January 1st I moved out and finally got my own place (it's a dark and cold basement suite, but no room mates). A month prior, I officially started work as a full employee. A month before that, I got my dream car (or a dream car, I should say). If this isn't a new start, I don't know what is.

-Cril

And we'll send you glad tidings from New York

Open up your eyes so you may see

Ask you not to read between the lines

Hope that you will come in right on time

And they'll talk to you while you're in trances

And you'll visualize not taking any chances

But meet them halfway with love, peace and persuasion

And expect them to rise for the occasion

Don't it gratify when you see it materialize

Right in front of your eyes

That surprise

Van Morrison - Glad Tidings