Musing the End

I was biking home when a song came on by Stevie Ray Vaughn. I thought about how he had an early death and what a shame that was. For some reason I thought he died from sudden, freak health complications (turns out he was yet another musician taken in a flying accident). Something really innocent, like the flue.

Then I realized that here I was, biking home from work in winter weather, while fighting off a cold.

Tomorrow I wake up, staring at myself, realizing I've died.

I think my immediate reaction would immense disappointment because I feel like I'm just now getting my life started, and there are lots of things I want to do. But that wouldn't last long, because I'd chuckle. Of course I'd die now, on the cusp of what I feel like is my whole life. But I've already experienced lots of it. Hell, even just looking at recent events I'd be pretty content to say I went out with a bang. Got an education. Lived in an international city. Came back, spent time with family and friends. Finally got a job. Got to find love.  And a car. And not just any car, either. Got to truly live on my own. I feel independent, in all its overwhelming and underwhelming glory.

While my body may have gone out with a whimper, I think the general trajectory of my life over the last year has qualified me for the 'bang' category.

That moment between realizing how much is yet to come and just how much has already happened is a funny place. No complaints.
-Cril

Hello there, my old friend
Not so long ago it was til the end
We played outside in the pouring rain
On our way up the road we started over again

You're living our dream oh you on top
my mind is aching,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens living life by the drop

Up and down the road in our worn down shoes
Talking about good things and singing the blues
you went your way and I stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter of time

You're living our dream oh you on top
my mind is aching,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens living life by the drop

No wasted time, we're alive today
Churning up the past, there's no easier way
Time's been between us, a means to an end
God it's good to be here walking together my friend

We're living our dreams
my mind's stopped aching,'
That's how it happened living life by the drop
That's how it happened living life by the drop
That's how it happened living life by the drop

Stevie Ray Vaughn - Life by the Drop