Never enough until you've got all the stuff

Dang, I feel kinda... Mooshy.

Over the weekend a scratchy throat turned let into a horrendous cough and leaky nose. I feel a little bit out of sorts, and just wish it was the weekend already. But I'm pretty sure it isn't.

Not a lot to report in my current state of mind. I miss my car. It's in the shop having some work done that isn't related to what it was dropped off for. I'm hoping that either the problem won't manifest itself again, or one of these alternate repairs will somehow have me covered. Part of me is gonna be afraid to drive it, knowing that the problem could pop up when I least expect it. It's like the whole thing is a time bomb waiting to fall apart around me.

But then I remember that, technically, I'm driving a classic Porsche. I get what I paid for. Or more accurately, what I didn't pay for. Fun times.

The worst part is that these repairs and having to have funds on hand in case the phantom problem pops up again will prevent me from getting a new computer in February. Unfortunate, yes, but not the end of the world.

But I've been looking forward to it more and more over the last few months. While I'm sure that it has a lot to do with the decreasing performance of my laptop, it's also the last big purchase I have on my list. Assassin's Creed Black Flag and Shadow of Mordor have both been taunting me for far too long, and I'm dying to play them.

The question arises, though; what comes next after I blow a few grand on a computer? Will my consumerist urges disappear? First I wanted a car, and then I wanted my own place, and now I want a computer. Surely something will come next. A new phone, probably. It doesn't seem super pressing right this very moment, but I'm sure once my new computer is up and running it'll become irresistibly important. Maybe I'm coming down with an addiction for new things.

I don't like the idea of that. In my head, I'm logically thinking "ah, yes, after I get the computer I won't want anything else, and I can just save my money." I'm sure there'll be lots of other things lining up to grab my attention, though.

Theoretically, I just wanted to live on my own and have a car for errands and commuting from my full time job. I'd get home in the evening, do some simple cooking, use my computer for freelancing and entertainment, and spend a part of each evening playing the mandolin.

Bam. That's it. Sounds simple enough, but maybe I'm just wired to want MORE because I spent so long making do with less. I'd like to think that being able to finally spend money without gnawing is like someone discovering how awesome heroin is for the first time. "How did I ever get by without it?!" That's a fairly crude analogy, but it feels oddly appropriate for my previously militant frugal self.

Yes, buying the car was a stupid purchase. Just because I did one irresponsible thing doesn't mean I have full license to keep doing so.

We'll see how it all unravels.
-Cril

Well you know that it's going to be alright
I think it's gonna be alright
Everything will always be alright
When we go shopping

Well you know that it's going to be alright
When we go shopping
It's always lalalalala...
Shopping spree begin
It's always lalalalala...
Everybody wins

So shutup
And never stop
Let's shop
Until we drop

Barenaked Ladies - Shopping