Flow of Cash

So, I just bought a new camera. Er, I'm in the process of buying a new camera. You see, a coworker of mine was selling his Canon 40D plus two lenses, some filters, a case, a battery pack, and other accessories. So I thought to myself, "Hrm, I really would love to get a DSLR, especially after using the one at work." We have a 60D there, which is mighty fine. The 40D isn't quite as fancy, but as a total and complete amateur, the 40D will probably be more than enough for a looooong time. The whole deal came to $1400. Which, if you haven't noticed, is a good chunk of money. Especially for someone who still has a year of school left. So I hummed and I hawwed over it. And what it boiled down to is... It's not a toy or some frivolous expense. It's more of an investment in something I know will last me a long time. So after a lot of hesitation and encouragement from various friends, I jumped on it. And I'm currently paying for it in chunks over two months. It's a really nice unit - I've really enjoyed using it so far. I do, of course, feel totally guilty about it. It's not necessary. I'll just use it for a tertiary-level hobby, even. I don't need it. Bleh. But I agreed with the gentleman, so now it's a done deal. Kinda stupid of me to buy it, in many ways, but... Hopefully it'll work out.

I tried to use it to shoot some self-portraits, which is something I never do. They turned out terribly, and will probably never see the light of day again.

My uncle purchased a used Nexus S for me while he was down in San Fransisco this last week. I'm currently using a very old and tired G1, and I think it may be time to get something that's a bit more... Usable. It's speaker was broken (and for being a phone, this is kind of a big problem), so it was temporarily returned for repairs before it gets shipped up here. It'll cost me $230.

After a lot of pressure from all sorts of angles, I'll be taking a vacation with my brother. We're going to drive down the Oregon coast for a bit, and hit up Seattle and Portland along the way. That'll cost me about $500.




$1400 + $230 + $500 + = $2130

That's a big chunk of change. Add in there the New York trip I took this spring (another $1500ish), a Coldplay ticket ($100) and things get even more scary.

Sigh. What's happening to me? What happened to all my resolve to not spend any more than $50 a month on unnecessary pursuits? This is getting pretty scary, and almost out of hand. I still have a year of school left - I can't bugger this up now. Go go gadget self-discipline...
-Cril

Air - Space Maker

It's been one of those weekends where, on paper, was a complete waste. Did I tally my finances? Nope. Do the laundry? Nope. Do some drawing, get an oil change, do that freelance thing, backup my laptop? Nope, nope, nope.

But it was still a damn fine weekend, because I managed to stumble on a few different moments of peace.

After staying up until Very Late O'Clock on Friday night and sleeping in, I went out on Saturday, found a tree to sit under, and busted out my mandolin to play for an hour.

Then, after staying up until Way Past Very Late O'Clock that night, on Sunday I got up and went to go visit my go-to friend from school. We sat on his balcony and talked for a bit, and grabbed our instruments and headed out to a soccer field across the street and played for a while. We played until an hour had evaporated under the sun's glare, and then we played until another hour had fallen victim to that enticing mistress of rhythm and melody.



If you were a spectator to either of those incidents, you'd be amazed at how utterly terrible the music was. In fact, you might even be tempted to throw quotations around the word "music". But something like that, was I was playing and what he was playing and what we were playing, wasn't really meant for the outside world. For about 20 minutes, I sat there and played one chord, a single chord, what he improvised on top of it. And I was so completely content to sit there and endlessly pluck those strings. It wasn't about the technicalities or the skill, it was about the music. And sometimes the music just needs one, single chord over and over again.

And that's a great feeling. To be there, and to be engrossed in the music you're making. In all of its unimpressive, unfancy glory. It exists just for you. And to get to sit there and have another person be a part of that, totally immersed in and helping to create a tide of melody... That's an amazing experience. It's the kind of stuff that a good life is made of, methinks.
-Cril

Andrew Oldham Orchestra - The Last Time

From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips

So I a while ago I went and saw Steven Page, which was amazing. Fantastic show - so intimate and incredible. One of the songs he (and Craig Northey) performed was Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel. I mentioned in that post how much better this acoustic version was compared to the Barenaked Ladies studio version. But it wasn't until just the last few weeks that I've come to realize how incredible that song is. The lyrics are so mind-blowing - surreal, casual, twisted, dramatic, riveting, detached... And freaking genius. The way that the common refrain completely and utterly changes meaning for the very last verse blows me away. Truly fantastic and touching. I still stand behind the live/acoustic performance being better musically and thematically. But I had no idea what I was missing out on when I was sitting there listening to it in person. This is so totally maddening - I want to go back two months to that hazy, stupid pub so that I can experience it again. I really didn't know or appreciate the genius and emotional appeal of the piece while I was there. This is such a frustrating feeling, to realize what you saw and how much of it you didn't take in because you just didn't know. Argh, take me back, take me back. Let me be there and hear it one more time.

I saw a Coldplay concert a couple weeks ago. Absolutely mind-blowing experience, in extreme opposite to Steven Page. Instead of being deeply personal and intimate, it was being a part of something HUGE. Getting to be intertwined with an entire stadium of different people for every walk of life. Let me rewind - at the door for this sold-out show, they had BARRELS of these fabric and plastic bracelets that they handed out to each participant. No one knew what they were for until the show started. They had lights in the band, and lit up and blinked with the music. And when you're in a packed stadium, with the lights off and every person wearing one... It's like you were standing in the middle of a star field, with the cosmos wrapped around you, in every direction. And every star is a person. A person that sang along with the music - everyone in unison. The Scientist. Oh, The Scientist. There were other things too - inflatable balls passed around the stadium, lasers, lights, confetti, an acoustic encore from the opposite end of the stadium... It was all there. A great experience, and a feast of light and sound. But I tell you, between those bracelets and every other song becoming an anthem for each soul to participate with... It really made me feel like something huge and beautiful. Knock Coldplay all you want - I know they're one of those bands that it's cool to hate. But I think they're talented musicians and write some powerful songs. And if you ever, ever get the chance to see them live, do not pass it up. I don't care what they'll be performing. If I have the opportunity to go, I couldn't possibly think twice.

I finally finished watching Ashes to Ashes (and therefore Life on Mars), a BBC miniseries. I started it about 3 years ago, and stopped once I started school. And I gotta say... It had a wildly satisfying ending to it. I'm really really pleased with how it took such a weird initial premise and tied everything together and brought it to a conclusion. I think that some of the secondary characters could've used a bit more work to hint at their backgrounds instead of just during the last series, but aside from that I have no complaints. Just praise. I was so happy with how it winded up, and cannot recommend Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes enough. Probably one of my favourite series of all time.





Right now, I have two big things I'm trying to make sense of. First, a co-worker is offering me his camera setup - a Canon 40D, Sigma f2.8 24-70mm macro lens, and a Canon f4.0 70-200mm L telephoto lens. He's asking $1400 for the whole deal (including a carrying case, extra batteries, and a few other odds and ends). No two ways about it - it's a reasonable price. And I've played with it over the weekend, and had a REALLY good time. Still, as reasonable as it is... It's still $1400. Do I need this thing? No. And I still have one last year of school left, so I should be watching my spending. But I wants it. It'd be so nice to have, and I wouldn't need anything else for a looong time. Argh.

And this, naturally, rolls into my second conundrum - vacation (?!). Aside from a few days at Christmas, I don't think I've taken a multiple-day vacation since, uh... 2007? It's kinda pathetic, really. But vacations require money in order to go places and do things, and I usually bank my vacation days and get paid out for them at the end of the year. And while I'm in school, a few days of income can be a big deal. Not to mention that I went to New York earlier this spring, and that wasn't particularly cheap either. I'm not sure if I would call it "vacation" exactly, but it was still traveling and so forth. That and, you know, I'm having one hell of a time figuring out what I'd do with myself for one of these mythical "vacation" things. Argh. Life is tricky business, I say.

Still, things are going pretty good, I think. It's been a pretty relaxing week. I'm drawing again, gong for walks, playing my mandolin a bit, and watching some TV. There are things I need to do over the summer, which I should really get started on, but for now... I get to exhale.
-Cril

Driving home to be with you
The highway's dividing, the city's in view
As usual, I'm almost on time
You're the last thing that's on my mind
I wish I could tell you the way that I feel
But tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

No commotion, no screaming brakes
Most of it's over before I awake
From the ceiling, my coffee cup drips
While out my window, the horizon does flips
The worst part was hitting the ground -
Not the feeling so much as the sound
Can't help but wonder if all this is real
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

Rubberneck traffic and passersby
And Slow Motion Walter the fire engine guy
Stand around with their mouths open wide
I heard some idiot ask if someone's inside
With the Jaws of Life they tried and they tried
Nobody here can know how I feel
Cause tonight is the night I fell asleep at the wheel

I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
I guess it's over now
Cause I've never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
Never seen so much, never seen so much
So much blood

In all the confusion, there's something serene
I'm just a posthumous part of the scene
Now I'm floating above looking in
As the radio blares and wheels spin
I can see my face slump with a grin
And you...you're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind
You're the last thing on my mind

Steven Page & Craig Northey - Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel