New Musings

So it's the beginning of the New Year, and I've looked back at the goals I made at the start of 2012. I think I failed spectacularly at all of them, which kinda sucks.

But I was talking with my brother over the break, and he told me something really insightful: New Years resolutions are for chumps. Not those exact words, mind you, but that was the sentiment. Basically, if you're going to make a goal for change it should because that's what you want. Not because it just happens to be a good time of year for making goals, but because you look at your life and realize, "You know what? This needs to change, and it needs to change starting now." And that's all there is to it. Nothing half-assed or ideal. It comes time that you realize your life needs to be different, and so you commit to it because that's what you need to do.

So I'm not making any New Years resolutions.

Right now I'm living the way I need to survive school. I'm keeping some things in mind, in terms of balance and health and so forth, but right now I'm on track to make it through my last four months of school. And after that, the time will come where I find myself thinking that I want to progress as an individual, and I'll commit to it, and I'll do it. But that time isn't now. And it sure ain't going to have anything to do with what the calendar says.

And in the mean time, I have a few other bits of ideas I wanted to write down while I'm here.

One of the other things my brother told me is that when he's walking, he chooses a pace that's brisk enough to have the purpose of going somewhere and not so fast as to give the impression that he doesn't want to be where he currently is. A profound little statement, especially considering I'm a chronic fast-walker. Never really realized before what it makes me look like, or how it means I don't usually pay attention to where I am.

At the end of last semester, we were all in a crunch one evening, plowing through our work. We were all kind of chipping in and helping eachother where we could. I ended up doing voicework for one classmate's video, and giving two others ideas for advertising campaigns. Then a bunch of them decided to leave and go pick up some food, leaving me alone to guard the studio. But just before he left, my best friend in the program turned to me and said, "You're the best man I know.

I say that in all honesty." Such candid truth kinda left me not knowing what to say as he disappeared out into the halls. But it felt good.

Another friend went on a business trip, leaving his spouse and son behind. One of the nights he spent away, he Tweeted a line from a children's book I had given them when their son was born. It put a smile on my face to know that, in some obscure way, I got to have (very small) positive impact on my friend and his family.

It's starting to dawn on me that I'm not going to see most of my classmates ever again after the school year wraps up. I know that this is one of those things where you have to put effort into seeing/meeting with these people... But if it's their goal to move to the other side of the continent, the odds of that become pretty slim. Kinda sad.

Last week my friend's cat died. I was living with them when they got it, so I feel like I was kind of attached to him too. Apparently he got ill really quickly, it just came out of nowhere, and they had to put him down. That really sucks. Poor guy. He had the softest striped coat you can imagine, and whenever he tried to meow it was very high-pitched, like a squeak. He was also kinda skitterish. He was born to a feral-ish mother, so he was very anti-social when they first got him. But he turned out to be really affectionate and intelligent. Sigh. You'll be missed, lil' buddy.

Ok. Back to real life.
-Cril

David Newman - Going for a Ride