I passed out yesterday at the pool. Well, fainted is probably the more accurate term, but it doesn't sound nearly as noble. I need to keep my fragile and dwindling sense of masculinity in tact somehow.
My upper body got properly buggered up at the beginning of the month. I'm not sure what did it, but one evening I felt a bit stiff, and the next day in transitioned into a rock n' roll song worth of proper pain. Then it started waking and keeping me up at night - I'd get about four hours of sleep at most, and then whittle away the early morning hours by shuffling my antsy bones around the house. The pain started meandering downwards leaving my left arm generally weak, and my thumb, index, and middle fingers are semi-numb.
I went and got an evaluation with a physiotherapist who declared my shoulder was the culprit, and she got to work on me. After a few sessions nothing had changed, so she called in her boss who gave me another evaluation and declared that my neck was the culprit. She got to work, and it our last appointment I was stretched, stabbed, burned and electrocuted. I think I've collected the whole set of Physiotherapy Torture in one sitting. The pain has gone down, though, and now I can stay in bed all night. I'm still not sleeping steadily - after the first few hours I'm still waking up in discomfort every 45-60 minutes, but it's better. Alas, this physio is on vacation this week, so I'll be seeing her boss for my next appointment. Three therapists in as many sessions. I'm not sure what I think of that, but at least things are improving.
Needless to say, I've been trying to take it easy recently. So yesterday we decided to do a short, and admittedly half-assed, workout in the gym. It wasn't too surprising when the elliptical made me uncomfortable, but I wasn't expecting it when the stationary bike did the same. After we were done we decided to hit the hot tub, in hopes that it would be good for the shoulder.
We hot tubbed for about 15 minutes, and then decided to cap things off with the steam room before heading home. There's a small shower you're supposed to use before entering, so we stood and waited for our turn. I started feeling a bit woozy as if I stood up too quickly, so I waved my girlfriend to go ahead first while I leaned forward against the shower wall. My blood then proceeded to march in various directions not related to me head, and then within 30 seconds I found myself on the floor.
Apparently I went down ass-first (I've got a proper bruise to prove it), followed by my upper body. I hit the right-back corner of my head on the ground, but it wasn't too bad - I was able to hold a conversation and complete the various tests the lifeguard gave me just fine. Then they sat me up in a poolside chair, and gave me water, juice, and a sugar pill (an amusing prescription, given the fact that I'd just resumed a no-sugar-added diet a few days prior). I was feeling pretty far away and my vision was pretty blurry. Well, blurry isn't quite right. It was like there was a pulsing web-like sheen of yellow and green, bleeding through the fabric of my vision. After 10-15 minutes things cleared and I felt more of myself.
Everyone seemed to remark, "People tend to get light headed when they bounce between the hot tub and steam room." Alas, I don't get the luxury of that excuse - I didn't even make it into the steam room to begin with.
The whole thing freaked my girlfriend out, though. She said that she had spoken to me once or twice, I didn't respond, and then I just deflated to the ground.
I don't know what the cause of this whole episode could be. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's the change in diet (resuming after a cheat week full of hard ciders and birthday ice cream cake). Maybe it was the change in temperature or the first trace amounts of physical exertion I've made since my arm/shoulder/neck has gone wonky. Maybe it's a combination of all the above.
When I was young(er), I really resented how people would casually drop snide remarks about being young and invincible. I hated the pride and ignorance associated with being in your youth, and the idea that my perception is tainted just by virtue of being under the age of home repairs, retirement savings, and Classic Hits radio. I disliked my point of view being written off or dismissed with the underhanded compliment of physical resilience.
Here I am. My hands ache if I hold a controller to long. My teeth are a hot mess. My shoulder and/or neck requires two (soon to be three) physiotherapists to diagnose and treat. My skin is oh-so-ever-inconvenient. My ear canals are small and regularly get clogged. And now apparently I get to add passing out at the pool into the mix. All this within my early 30's. Makes me a bit fearful of what comes next.
I don't know if I've ever properly held the 'I'm young and invincible' assumption. I think the mis-step I did make, however, was that due to my lifelong enjoyment of skin issues I had kinda decided to hope I wouldn't have any other big health problems. And maybe if ate decent foods and made an effort to go on walks and do things, my skin karma would balance the scales and I'd be free of other ailments.
Alas, 'tis not so.
I always knew I was mortal. Over the last two or three years, though, I've slowly become aware that mortality won't be as trouble-free as I had wanted. If my current status of well-being is any indication, there may be some tough years ahead.
Skin issues are, unfortunately, not an antidote to other issues. I just wish I didn't need to collapse on the pool deck to figure it out.
-Cril
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