Thursday, February 27, 2020

Pushing Buttons

I know it's serious business and all that stuff, but I find the language surrounding abortion to be amusing. PRO CHOICE! PRO LIFE! It just kinda reeks of market-tested corporate political correctness. That's why I've decided to come out as being ANTI-CHOICE AND ANTI-LIFE. That's right: I think we need more forced abortions. Bear with me.

You know all this talk about income inequality? We could kill two birds (and a few babies) with one stone by forcing poor people to abort all their pregnancies. Instead of having to tamper with the secret sauce that is FREE MARKET CAPITALISM by ensuring people are paid a living wage, we could simply breed the poor out of the picture altogether. Or, rather, unbreed them out of the picture.

All we have to do is making a rule that stipulates you must be earning an average of at least $100,000 per individual in a household. Think about it, all of the sudden we don't need to worry about child labour, we could practically get rid of public education all together, no more pesky concerns about lunch programs, etc etc. The cliche of the single mother sitting back on welfare will be eliminated. Let her save to buy rights to have a child, and maybe by the time she's 60 she'll have enough income. By then menopause will save us from The Poor Person Gene eroding society.

It's stunning to realize what kind of solutions are lurking underneath the sheen of clever verbiage. Makes me wonder what else is out there. I'm looking at you, Members of the Mutant Albino Genetic Recessive Global Minority.
-Cril

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