Dance, Bishes

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
Okay, the double dance is repetitive but I'll

For I am the Lord of the Dance, said He
Now we've established that this is a third-person POV. 

And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be
We've already established the 'wherever' bit. And I guess the Lord of the Dance instructing people to dance makes for a pretty obvious command, but whatever.

And I'll lead you all in the dance, said He
This is just straight up redundant. What else would he be leading?

I attended a United Church of some sort with my family as a wee lad when we were living in a remote community and it was the only religious show in town. I was exposed to many trite and contrived hymns, including that gem from above. Recently it's resurfaced into my life through Irish dancing, of all things. And while it's strictly instrumental in this conjured form, I can't help but fill in the blanks.

I hate the lyrics. Truly loathe them. How the hell does dancing relate to Christianity? Couldn't this derivative, repetitive thing be half the length and encapsulated in saying, "Screw you, dance because I say so"? And for the literary and poetically-inclined of you keeping score, you might have even been impressed by the subtle use of an A-A-A-A rhyming pattern. 

Are there actual verses to this song? I honestly don't remember and don't care to look it up. If this hot turd of low-effort, praise-Jeebus, hallelujah-wurshup is the chorus, it can't possibly be redeemed by merely stuffing more words between repetitions. Jesus may have healed the deaf and dumb, but obviously he skipped over the dufus that wrote this garbage. He was obviously too far gone to in order to stop and think, "Ah, yes, I think this lyric is done!" after rhyming 'be' with 'He'. Twice in a goddamn row.

-Cril