Do it already

Words.

Words, words. Words.

Look at me, I'm typing. It's kinda scary that literally just writing down some words was what I need to do to open the door enough to keep going. Strange, that.

I feel like I'm losing momentum. I'm being hypnotized by the steady rhythm of full time work, and sedated by the need to "just relax for a bit" after a day in the office. I can't seriously be so tired that all I can do after a measly 8-9hours at work I need to spend the rest of the evening shooting pixels with other pixels.

My company went through some pretty major restructuring a couple weeks ago, and more than a couple of good people were let go. In the fallout, many of us have had to step up to keep the wheels on the bus. I think I worked about 60hrs that week, and by the end of it I could tell that I was pretty tired and irritable. Which makes sense until I consider that for five straight years at school, working 60-80hrs a week was the norm. And true, what I have now is a much healthier balance, but I can't help but chuckle at how "soft" I'm getting.

Still, though, when I was in those throws of all-consuming academia, I had some sort of clarity about what I wish I could spend time on. I didn't find myself wanting to sit down and game for a few hours every night so much as wanting to learn the mandolin, learn to cook, learn to maintain a car. And while I'm doing those things to some degree, they're still very much taking a back seat to mind-numbing entertainment. It's kind of a let down.



I met with a friend from ACAD last Friday, and caught up after not really talking for 2 years. He mentioned how he's pretty devoted to getting out of work right at 5. He gets there on time, does everything he needs to accomplish, and goes home once he's put in his 8 hours. It's gotten to the point where his coworkers know not to even ask him to stay, because he pushes back really hard.

I can appreciate his devotion to maintaining his ideal life balance. Being a bit of a people-pleaser, I'm not sure if that solution is for me, though. I don't mind chipping in if it'll make a difference, and an extra hour here or there isn't the end of the world. But it's cool to see someone that knows where to draw the line between work and home life.

Anyways, my point is this: I gotta renew my focus on extra-curricular activities. At the beginning of the year, I made the goal to get better at playing the mandolin than I am at the ukulele. Recently I've barely been practicing at all, and the though occurred to me, "June isn't too far away. That's halfway through the year, it'll be a good time to step up my game." But that's the wrong approach, isn't it? There's absolutely no reason I shouldn't step up my game now. More practicing. More sketching. More cooking, more car stuff, more writing.

If I don't do it, ain't nobody else gonna do it for me.
-Cril

I am ready, as ready's anybody can be
I am ready, ready's anybody can be
I am ready for you, I hope you ready for me

I got a axe-handled pistol on my graveyard frame,
That shoot tombstone bullets, wearin' balls and chain,
I'm drinkin TNT, I'm smokin' dynamite,
I hope some screwball start a fight

Muddy Waters - I'm Ready