It's another 'eve of something I don't wanna do'. You know how it is. For whatever reason you really aren't looking forward to tackling tomorrow, and so you stay up late to put it off. And then you're sleep deprived, and end up taking on whatever it is without you're full mental faculty. Sigh, good times. But for the inquisitive among you, no, it's not anything significant. It's just something... I don't wanna do. Not a big deal in any way, I could probably even get away with skipping it. But instead I'll suck it up and do it. Besides, to quote comic-strip fatherly advice, "it builds character."
It's been a pretty uneventful week so far. The bosses are going to be out of town for the next week or so, so work is a bit quieter. We got a long list of objectives we want to tackle in the mean time, though. Aside from that... I've been doing a little bit of reading, watching a little bit of TV, playing my way through Dark Messiah of Might and Magic (which actually isn't too bad). I've been drawing, listening to and sorting music, and now I'm writing. I was hoping to add photography to that list, but the gods of the postal service obviously have other plans for me.
Oh, and I've been mapping. Not that much, actually - the three or so hours I spent on it today is all I've done over the last week and a bit. But it's coming along. I have roughly 70% of the level layout and populating done, and after that I need to set up navigation, scripts, and then balance, balance, balance. Mind you, I am modeling my first level after a real location, so it could just be that it's a natural zombie strong point and there's not much I can really do to make it more challenging. But it's coming along. I even have a few odd plans to expand on it, but that's quite a ways off yet. Here's some of what I have so far:
For as intuitive and well put together as Hammer is, once you have a populated area it really becomes difficult to tell what's going on. It certainly gives me new respect for professional level creators, and makes me wonder how they approach it.
And, of course, the obligatory sketch. Sometimes I get in a groove where I pound out three or four or six or eight decent, solid sketches in a row. I am not in this groove right not. I haven't been too terribly pleased with anything I've done over the past two weeks or so. But today I made a piece referenced from some concept art for Batman: Arkham Asylum. I think it turned out pretty well:
Of course, comparing it closely with the original the proportions aren't right, the colours are a bit out, and the expression isn't quite faithful. But on its own... It's probably the best thing I've done over the last ten or so sketches.
You know what I absolutely love? When you listen to a song a bajillion times over, and then *snap!* the lyrics just come together. It may be the chorus or a line or just a single word, but all of the sudden you have clarity for a single portion of the song that brings the larger meaning together. The entire meaning and message just make so much sense, you can't believe how well it fits together. You wrap yourself up in the melody the first few times, but once that magical key is discovered it's like the song lifts you off your feet. It such an exhilarating sensation.
I thought that the word 'mirrorball' was just some sort of gibberish, but it came up in conversation the other day and I found out that it's like one of those disco balls. Elbow's Mirrorball goes "You make the moon a mirrorball / The streets an empty stage / The city's sirens, violins / Everything has changed" Ah-HA! How did I not know that before? It just works so well. It's so obvious how it impacts the remainder of the song, I had no idea what I was missing out on. I love the imagry it creates.
In Gordon Lightfoot's If You Could Read My Mind (I was actually listening to the Scala & Kolacny Bros version when I made this discovery), "I'd walk away like a movie star / Who gets burned in a three way script / Enter number two / A movie queen to play the scene / Of bringing all the good things out in me / But for now love, let's be real / I never thought I could act this way / And I've got to say that I just don't get it / I don't know where we went wrong / But the feeling's gone / And I just can't get it back". I'd never quite made the connection between the first and last half of the stanza. In particular, I always though "let's be real" was a cheap shot in an arguement and that "I never thought I could act this way" reffered to doing things you didn't anticipate. But, really, it's reffering to a layer of surrealism. "Let's be real" becomes a lot more literal, and "act this way" refers to pretending and not just doing something. Well, not necissarily. The genius of this whole verse is that these meanings can go either way.
It may have been poor perception and understanding on my part, but once I realised the different angles to interpret these lyrics... It makes the song(s) that much more... Incredible. I don't know why, but I find it to be truly fascinating and exciting when I make these connections. It's like I completely rediscover the song.
'Eve of something I don't wanna do' anxieties aside, I feel a bit wound up at the moment. I feel like I need some release, but I don't know what form that'd come in. I feel like there's something buried deep inside that I need to express or let out. Like I said, I don't know what it is. Maybe I just need to sit down for an hour or two and really indulge my introspectiveness. Gah, I wish I knew what it is I need/want to get at.
In other news, if someone finds a used 50cc (or less) scooter for $1000 (or less) in the area, let me know. Now there would be something fun to do for the summer.
Sigh. I miss my car.
Well, it's time to suck it up, stop stalling, go to bed, and face down that thing I don't wanna do. Like I said, I don't fear anything bad happening or worry about some horrible consequences. I just. Don't. Want. To. Do. It.
/blargh
-Cril
It's been a bad day
Please don't take a picture
It's been a bad day
Please
We're dug in deep the price is steep
The auctioneer is such a creep
The lights went out, the oil ran dry
We blamed it on the other guy
Sure, all men are created equal
Here's the church, here's the steeple
Please stay tuned - we cut to sequel
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down
R.E.M. - Bad Day
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