Sunday, April 25, 2010

Year-End-Esque

Last week two interns where I work packed up and left for home. I was pretty close with one of them last year, and this year I barely spent time with either of them. So when it came down to their last week, we went out for lunch together (Dairy Lane makes the best burger in Calgary, btw) and ended up going to Banff together with my roommates/co-workers. I have only ever been there once, briefly, so it was kinda nice to go again. Definitely a tourist trap, though. A bazillion nice little boutique shops all in a row, with various Banff/Canada-branded goods and absurdly high prices. That kinda scene just does not appeal to me at all, everything feels so... Manufactured and fake.

Anyways, after returning we dropped them off, and I didn't see them again. And, maybe, I never will. Even while I was spending the evening with them a very bittersweet feeling started to seep in around the edges. It was nice to spend time with them before they left, but that only highlighted the time I didn't get to spend with them. I feel rather bad about that, actually. It's still bothering me.

A few misc points:
  • The Banff trip reminded me that I definitely don't like shopping. Yeah, I guess there's some nice stuff to see, but I don't like browsing. Maybe if I had the intent to buy something, but even then... I'd rather go in, get what I want/need, and get out.
  • The Banff trip came two days before my final colour-theory project was due, which I had not yet completed. I ended up staying up until 2AM the night we got back, and up to 11PM the night after. I guess that doesn't sound too amazing, but as someone who tries to have assignments completed ~2 days before they're due, it was a bit of a stretch for me. I coulda had it done then if I hadn't have gone to the trip. An extremely poor choice of priorities in one regard, and the precise opposite in another.
  • Between the overcast skies of late, the mountains at Banff and the fact that you have to take the same road to get there as going to BC, I'm feeling rather homesick. I miss being surrounded by mountains, those grey and rainy days, and the thick and sweet valley air. Sigh.
  • A final crit tomorrow for Jewelry is technically all I have left in my first year of school. I'm still working hard to get my portfolio together, though. I've completely re-done one and fixed up three drawings to make them better. It occurs that there may not be a second-year if I don't get into the program. Lovely.
  • I need to figure out what to do with myself if there isn't a second year. Work and save lots, of course, but there should be something else. I really don't want to put my education off for another year - I just want to get it over with.
  • Speaking of applying, last year there was a record-low of 80 applicants to the Bachelor of Design program, which takes in 60 each year. This year? The second-highest number. They won't tell us the exact amount, but go figure.
  • There may not be a second year, but there will be two second-year courses in the spring semester, starting May 3rd (same day portfolios are due, of course). I'm not looking forward to these at all, but it's all I can do to ease the strain of next year.
  • I discovered, way too late in the game, that audiobooks are PERFECT to listen to while doing the majority of my studio-based homework. So far I've gotten through The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring, and am a third of the way through The Two Towers. I've never read the Lord of the Rings trilogy before, some I'm giving it a shot. I'll say this: Tolkien paints a compelling world of incredible depth. He is WAY too long winded, though, and his over-enthusiastic use of poems/songs makes me wonder if the series was somehow meant to be a light-hearted musical full of whimsy.
  • I've been taking breaks in between working on my portfolio (and listening to LoTR) with a bit of gaming. I've wrapped up Battlefield Bad Company 2's singleplayer, been playing a bit of its multiplayer, beaten Wings of Prey's campaign (in Arcade mode, unfortunately, as I don't have a joystick), and have started playing Trine. I think I'll need to do a gaming-dedicated post at some point.
  • Once classes are done and my portfolio is in, I think I'll format and install Windows 7. I'm rather eager about this, for some reason.
  • If time permits, once I have everything for my portfolio mounted I'll shoot it and put it up on Flickr. If I don't do it before I submit it, I'll probably get it done by the end of May.
Ah, bullet points. Them's be a slippery slope to neglect organizing my thoughts into a coherent stream. I really should stop using them and be more conscious of what and how I write, now that I have a bit more time to do so.



It's the end of the semester, and I've received fairly decent marks on two of my final projects. My portfolio is coming along well, and should be wrapped up soon. I'm at the last stair on the ascent to the summer, and even the weather is starting to change for the better. There are green things coming out of the ground, no less.

And yet... I feel rather heavy-hearted. Part of it, no doubt, is that I still regret not spending more quality time with the interns before they left. Another part is linked to how the second year is looming over me - I'm anxious about getting rejected for entrance into the program and anxious about getting in and having another, even harder year ahead of me. And I know that deep down, that no matter what I manage to do this summer, it won't be enough to climb the mountain of interests and desires I've pushed off to the side while doing school. There's so much I want to do, and so little of it that I'll be able to squeeze into four months of full-time work.

But we do what we must, suppose.
-Cril

All at once,
The world can overwhelm me
There's almost nothin' that you could tell me
That could ease my mind

Which way will you run
When it's always all around you
And the feelin' lost and found you again
A feelin' that we have no control
Around the sun
Some say
There's gonna be the new hell
Some say
It's still too early to tell
Some say
It really ain't no myth at all

Jack Johnson - All at Once

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