Back to the Fruiture

I just had a chat with Frank about Apple products, and I feel invisibly compelled to jot down some quick ideas swirling around my head. A number of years ago I wrote at great lengths about my investigation into purchasing some serious Apple hardware and my various hesitations and reservations about the brand. Once upon a time I was vehemently opposed to all things Apple. Maybe I'm getting old, but I just don't quite care that much any more about who stole what feature or whatever the talking points of the time were.

Apple makes great stuff. Pretty, well-engineered, advanced. They know what they're doing, and gosh darn it, they're good at it.

For a while, I believed that the brand personality rubbed me the wrong way. Apple felt like a smug hipster that always had it all figured out and knew it was the hottest thing on the block. These days, though, I frankly don't pay enough attention to it (or other tech companies) to know or care.

Right now there are three big boulders between me and the entrance to the Holy Shrine Church of His Holiness Steve "The Holy Man" Jobs (note: one of medium-sized pebbles along the way is a general befuddlement at Jobs-worship).

First is money. Apple is a creator of luxury electronics. Nicer materials, slimmer builds, and various extra fancy features and small details that make you say "Ohhhh" and "Ahhhh". Unfortunately, I'm not a luxury person, and tend to be a bit more usability-oriented. To me, a wonderfully pulsing power LED and 4lbs of added lightness is an impressive touch, but not worth paying an extra 50% for.

Let me put it this way, because my life loosely orbits around the wonderful world of cars. Say someone presented me with $45,000 for a new car. I could get a brand-new Mercedes-Benz is C-Class, complete with all the leathers and ride comforts and infotainments and fancy stitching for $43,000. Or I could buy an FR-S, with its stiff suspension and tiny back seats, and pocket the remaining $15,000. It'd be no contest, because at the core what I want is a vehicle that gets me from A to B and is fun to drive.

In some cases those extra features make the price worth it. After all, the sorting, ranking, and play count tracking in iTunes is the reason I haven't been able to stray from the iPod. But for the most part, I value main functionality over frills and details. The value proposition for the finer things in life just ain't quite there for me. What can I say, I take after my father. A meat and potatoes kinda guy.

The next big rock in the way is that the core functionality between Mac and PC platforms is... Remarkably the same. I'm of course referring to my experience with the platforms and what I generally use computers for (hint: design crap and internet crap). A few years ago, the inability to handle gaming would have been an instant disqualifier. Now, though? Photoshop runs just the same on either platform. Differences in OS stability or user interface are downright negligible. For the past year I've been frequently switching between doing work on my Windows laptop and various iMacs, and the one biggest difference between the two... Has got to be the keyboard layout. And it's not that one is better than the other, it's just the fact that they're different. I haven't quite come across any make-it-or-break-it features between the two. And as simple day-to-day user, the more minute or involved differences don't manifest themselves to me.

The last big hurdle has nothing to do with hardware or corporate policy. No, the last big dumb rock in the way is, well, me. And Apple fans. Yes, those vocal diehards that I feel don't quite know what they're talking about despite their zeal for the subject. All they know is that Mac = Awesome and PC = Flawed, because the commercials told them so (seriously, props to whoever was behind that ad campaign. You've made quite the impression). I know it's incredibly petty, but I think the biggest grudge I hold against the brand is that underlying tone of snarky disbelief I get when someone exclaims to me "...you use a PC?!"

Screw you. Yes, it is a PC. And it runs the same programs as yours, with all the same features and capabilities. I know it seems hard to understand, but I can (gasp!) do the same things that you can do with your luxury laptop, and at a fraction of the price. If I can graduate near the top of my class using a Lowly Lenovo, I think it's safe to assume that it's not so noticeably inferior. It doesn't hamper my creative process or prevent me from kerning my type just so.

It's a tool. Like a hammer. You know how a hammer works, right?  Surprisingly, it doesn't matter if the handle is wood or covered in authentic Tibetan cow hide. The ability to drive a nail remains more/less equal.

Yeah, I know I wear cheap Wal-Mart shoes. And yet I still manage to make it to work on time. How does that work?

I make it a bit of a game for my own amusement to ask assertive Apple purists what they prefer about the Mac platform over the alternative. I usually get a mix of "it looks better" and "it works better". When I ask for elaboration on the last point, there's usually a mix of "uhms", "uhs", and an assorted list of nonessential, features and a loose claim that "windows machines break all the time" (which, oddly, they never seem to be able to expound on). As for aesthetics, yes, absolutely, OSX is much more attractive and streamlined than Windows. But does that mean that the only thing preventing a perfectly level playing field is a pretty, pretty special glossy Windows skin?

Again, I don't care so much for how a tool looks as much as what it's actually capable of. Make my hammer pink and reflective for all I care, because eventually you get used to appearances and it's what emerges from the workshop at the end of the day that really counts. And being a price conscious guy, well, if the shiny pink hammer is the best value I'll go for it.

I'm pretty sure the main reason designers use Macs these days is simply because that's just what designers use. It's a culture that feeds into itself, for better or worse. I just don't get the rabid sense of superiority about it.

Who knows, if I wasn't such a computer nerd growing up and wasn't assaulted by everyone's vocal (and borderline insulting) disbelief at my choice to use a Windows machine, I probably would have long ago joined the Apple herd myself.

I feel that as I mature I realize some things just don't matter, and along with that I've realized how pointless and relatively petty the whole debate is about Mac vs PC. Apple makes good stuff. Microsoft makes good stuff. They're both so good that, to my eyes, they're pretty the same animals but of different colour. More than anything I just guess I'm just pissed off at being looked down on under the assumption that my particular choice of tool clearly directly corresponds with my capability as a person.

But hey, what good is getting older if you can't be irrationally bitter about some things? And who knows, maybe in a few more years I won't care about this either.
-Cril

Please could you stop the noise, I'm trying to get some rest
From all the unborn chicken voices in my head
What's that?
I may be paranoid, but not an android
What's that?
I may be paranoid, but not an android

When I am king, you will be first against the wall
With your opinion which is of no consequence at all
What's that?
I may be paranoid, but no android
What's that?
I may be paranoid, but no android

Radiohead - Paranoid Android