I don't know if I'm going to be able to apply for an internship. I have all of my materials put together, in theory, but I'm lacking the time to fill out the required forms and applications and cover letters. On some level, I'm feelin' afraid of rejection. If I don't apply, I can't be let down when I find out that I wasn't accepted, right? Well, I guess that by not even applying I'm just as good as rejected. And here I am, not even trying. How pathetic is that? I just wish I wasn't so tired.
The weight of the end of my education is starting to pile up. I registered for classes yesterday, and there's all sorts of hoopla surrounding what courses may or may not run. Trying to make sure I get all the graduation credits figured out, schedules, professors... Thinking about employment afterwards. Where I'll be artistically. Am I going to be anything of note, or just one more generic designer and pixel pusher? Will I have any merit to what and who I am as a professional?
Heavy questions. They're hard to keep carrying around. In about a year they're all going to come to a head of sorts. Should I be excited? Hopeful and optimistic? Is it okay to be anxious like I am? Bleh. This subject matter is far too serious to be contemplating on the eve of another work week as a school year draws to a close. Gotta concentrate. Gotta stay on course.
Looks like this turned into one more blog post full of angst and uncertainty. Yeah, 'cuz that's something the internet is so short on.
-Cril
These back steps are steeper to the ground
The brightest stars are falling down
I'm walking the edge, walking the tightest rope
We can be frank, reality rips on through, rolling like a hurricane
I'm over the bridge and under the rain
If everything's falling, if everything's changed
If I'm in the open, if I'm in the way
Mat Kearney - Crashing Down
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