Epiphany Alley

So yesterday I was working in the studio, and a friend left for the evening. It was ~8 or so, I was alone, and was feelin' all sorts of craptacular. Really unbearably tired, for some reason. So I packed up, and dragged my heels along all the pavement between campus and my car, got in, went home. Arrived, shrugged off the jacket, and felt weird that I was about to go to bed before Stupid O'clock. So I figured, what the hell, I'd do some writing before bed.

Put some music on, busted out the ol' journal, laid myself down on the floor, and starting waltzing a pen back and forth across some pages. Pretty tepid stuff at first, just basically recalling the obligatory whens and wheres of life. I finished that standard "went x, did y" stuff, laid down the pen, sighed, took off my glasses, and...

It all came into focus.

Within the space of about ten minutes, I was positively bombarded with things I hadn't quite understood or even known were there in the first place. One, two, three, four, fivesixseven. All rapid-fire-like. Discovering things. Taking long forgotten tidbits and watching connections form between them, right before my eyes. Had I not replaced it a few weeks prior, I could've been convinced that some sort of cosmic illumination was shining down on me in my pathetic little room, rather than a lowly 60 watt bulb.





I understand now.

I know what's important about me and other people. I know how I'll be spending my lunch breaks, and why I can't seem to settle on an avatar at the moment, what kind of paper I need to finish that one piece, and what I want to accomplish this summer. And a million other things.


It feels one part overwhelming and five parts frickin' fantastic.

When I thought I had finished, I tried to go to bed. My head, however, had other plans and kept going. After an hour or so of this, I turned on a light and furiously wrote down the entire sum of what was flowing through and overloading the fibers of my puny little brain. I don't know where or why all this came to me, but I'm glad it did.

And after I had given out everything I had and everything I had been given to those pages, I set myself down into my bed with a smile on my face. And for the first time in a long time, I slept

like

a

child.
-Cril

Growing in numbers
Growing in speed
Can't fight the future
Can't fight what I see

People they come together
People they fall apart
No one can stop us now
'Cause we are all made of stars

Efforts of lovers
Left in my mind
I sing in the reaches
We'll see what we find

People they come together
People they fall apart
No one can stop us now
'Cause we are all made of stars

Moby - We Are All Made of Stars