Nostalgia, I Guess

Life changes, and things come and go. I'm pretty stoked for this next phase of things, and there are lots of cool things on the way. I'm excited. But to keep tabs on how far I've come and how far there is to go, I like to keep an eye on where I've been. Gives me a frame of reference. And with that, though, I notice a lot of the stuff that's seemingly slipped out the back. Stuff that... I kinda miss.

Like the School of Visual Arts in New York (I could've just said 'SVA', but this is how I seem to refer to it in my hand). I miss the cool-crazy courses, the insane amount of talent (both from the professors and other students), and being pushed to experience and improve. I miss making cool stuff.

I miss New York. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be back home but in NY every day seemed like an event in itself.

I miss the vending machines they used to have outside of SuperStores where you could get a can of pop for thirty-five cents. And I miss the President's Choice black cherry flavour the most.

I miss hiding away in the basement with my brother on those hot and muggy summer days where we had nothing to do. I miss playing the hell out of Super Smash Bros on the N64 (and Tony Hawk, Mario Kart, and a few others).

I miss reading sci-fi books while walking to/from school (even though I'd almost run into parked cars on a regular basis).

I miss being such a broke teenager that I didn't have any money to worry about.

I miss getting a large Slurpee and box of Nerds after delivering the Friday papers in the summer. All things considered we were grossly underpaid for the amount of work we had to do, but it allowed us some really basic spending money.

I miss walking to the pool in bare feet almost every day in the summer.

I miss not worrying about the economy and whether or not I had chosen a viable profession.

I miss being able to eat mac n' cheese (and milk, and ice cream) without farting up a storm, damnit.

I miss Christmases at home, when all of the family would hang out and we had nowhere else to be.

I miss the rich, sweet smell of BC farm-town air at night, while I walk around and there isn't another soul in sight.

I miss my mom's porkchops. Not because it was my most favouritest meal in the world (it was my brother's, though), but I simply don't get to eat it any more.

I miss not having to think about the fact that I'm getting older, and that means my parents (and their parents) are getting older too.

I miss sitting in the rear of the station wagon, in my wooden seat facing the back of the car. I spent many road trips watching the winding road disappear over the horizon, and the drivers in the cars behind us as we were stuck in traffic.

I miss the notion that owning a car was all about the make/model, and not insurance, registration, gas and upkeep.

I miss not having to shave.

I miss it when Fridays meant a new Homestar Runner Cartoon.

I miss the lower-mainland rain and days of endlessly grey sky.

I miss northern BC's beautiful sunsets, long summer days and short winter days.

I miss band class. Not only making sure I was playing the sax regularly, but being a part of a orchestrated group working together to create something badass (okay, this was in highschool, so 'badass might be slightly optimistic). One of the greatest feelings there is.

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Not that I mean to wail on and on about how miserable I am. Just the opposite. Just appreciating the good things I've had, in slight hopes that I can better recognize good things while I currently have them.
-Cril

Lisztomania
Think less but see it grow
Like a riot, like a riot, oh!
Not easily offended
Not hard to let it go
From a mess to the masses

Follow, misguide, stand still
Disgust, discourage
On this precious weekend ending
This love’s for gentlemen only
Wealthiest gentlemen only
And now that you’re lonely
Do let, do let, do let, jugulate, do let, do

Pheonix - Lisztomania