Happy [Multiple Choice Celebration] Birthday!

So what exactly is it that we celebrate on a birthday? Maybe it's something as simple as standing up and thrusting two middle-fingers in Fate's direction - we've survived one more year in a world full of diseases, car crashes, fickle and freak weather, food poisoning, fires, wars, earthquakes, and High School Musical sequels. Ok, take car's for instance - here's something we do twice a day, every day that involves us straddling a cruise missile down kilometers of pavement, passing not three feet (Bahaha! Mixing separate systems of measurement!) from other oncoming cruise missiles. And seriously, have you seen some of the idiots out there? Who the hell gave them a license? Regardless, with every car we pass by on the road we're stacking odds and taking bets. Some days I'm surprised we last as long as we do.

But back to the subject at hand. What do we celebrate? Maybe, just maybe, it's something more epic. Something so large in scope it's really impossible to grasp the meaning of sheer numbers and values. But let's run with those numbers and values for a minute, shall we? Within the space of a year, we travel roughly 938 million kilometers through the solar system, around the sun. That works out to to an average speed near 107,218 km/h (thanks, Wikipedia!). And you think you're pretty hot when you're straddling your cruise missile and barreling down the back road at 140km/h.

So is this what we celebrate? Completing another revolution around that massive burning ball of gas that lights our world? You might think so, until you realize that you can make this journey sitting absolutely frickin' still. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to earn that achievement.

Or maybe if we want to take the more morbid approach, perhaps we're not celebrating the state of progression so much as closing the gap on our own demise. Is that it, getting closer to the end of completing an existence? If that's the case, I've already passed by 30% of my life expectancy - only 70% to go!

It could also be not so much of passing by the time as the ratio of quality to the time spent. The ability to stand there and declare, "YES! In the last year I have been able to improve myself and make an impact on the world in these ways!" Insert shtick about goals and personal excellence and growing and development here.

So what is it? Beating the odds, completing a lap around the solar system, another step towards the end, or the ability to quantify personal change? They all sound equally lame, if you ask me. Maybe it's something as simple as an excuse to break the monotony of day-to-day life like weekends and civic holidays.


Maybe it's e) None of the above.
Or even f) I have no freakin' clue.
-Cril

If cryogenics were all free
Then you could live like Walt Disney
And live for all eternity
Inside a block of ice

Arrogant Worms - The Happy Happy Birthday Song